Ok, so lets say that you mess up real bad in a relationship. You lied about something, maybe. If its not something thats gonna hurt the relationship, do you let it slide and not say anything? Or do you confess and tell the truth? Why?
2006-08-01 02:24:51 · 32 answers · asked by onehot_mama23 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honesty is usually the best policy, but not always. Sometimes being too honest can be hurtful to another person that you don't want to hurt.
Someone asked me one time why I did not tell them what their daughter was doing when I knew it was something they disapproved of. My response was "no good would come of it" (by me being the one to tell them) and that it was her responsibility to "fess up" to them about her actions (I did instruct her to do so).
If you feel the need to confess it's usually because it will make you feel better, not the other person. It's typically our own guilt that makes us want to confess, or it's our fear of getting caught. If you can deal with the possible outcome of telling the truth now, after the fact, then go ahead and do it. If it's really not something that will hurt the relationship you shouldn't be worrying so much. Just remember though, lies do hurt relationships.
2006-08-01 02:39:34 · answer #1 · answered by Twigless 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's the thing: you never know what's going to hurt a relationship. Oftentimes it's not the thing you lied about that causes the trouble, but the lie itself...when you're discovered to be a liar, trust is damaged, and no relationship can thrive in an atmosphere of mistrust. Plus, lies present the liar with a snowballing obstacle to negotiate. Each lie, to remain undiscovered, requires another lie to cover it, and in turn still another to cover that one...then before you know it, you've lied your *** off over something simple! When it comes to light ( as it always does) you're wondering how you ever got into such a big mess, and it all started with one little simple lie. Trust me, the truth is a far simpler, less hassled way to go in most every situation. Any pain the truth will cause you is immediate and up front...far less than the crap waiting for you at the end of a mountain of lies, and your credibility is also damaged in the process. Think about it.
2006-08-01 02:39:15 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my experience yes it has been it is not alsways the most pleasant thing but it does always seem to work itself out when the Honesty is there can't fault it it is true it takes no energy to reavel the truth and move on it takes a lot of energy to cover a lie and almost always the truth gets dsicovered. You start off with ya know I was not completely hoest with you about something and I won't feel right til I get this out you might not like it but I will feel much better knowing that you know and I always want to not be afraid to tell you the truth and I want you to never be afraid to tell me the truth even if it angers us I am not perfect and neither are you so let's try to act like it so here goes... ( Then tell this truth that needs to be told) he might be mad but he can't fault you for lying and that will be your primary defense and don't ask for forgiveness he aint god either he forgive you or he don't you would get extra points with me for the honesty it would sorta make whatever you did wrong unimportant to me that is.
2006-08-01 02:35:21 · answer #3 · answered by Monte 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth will set you free.
Seriously, the fact that you are asking about this tells me that it IS bothering you. And it will sit there and fester and in the long run may hurt your relationship.
You said you 'lied about something, maybe.' Well, you did or your didn't. There is no such thing as 'maybe'.
I think that all lasting relationships are built on TRUST. That means you don't lie. And if you do make a mistake, you talk to your partner about it. It's okay to be vunerable with someone you care about or love. That's what a relationship is all about. And it's always easier to love someone who can admit to making a mistake if they confess and apologize ....than someone that you can't trust because they try to hide things from you.
You already know all that stuff. Follow your heart, apologize for your mistake, lie or indescretion and try not to do it again. (None of us are perfect). He may get mad at first. That is a normal response. You have to allow him to work thru his feelings. If your partner truely loves you, he will continue to love you, as none of us are perfect.
If he can't accept your apology, and can't get over it, then he's NOT the man for you.
However, if what you did warrants a split.... like you cheated on him or something.... THAT's BIG. And perhaps, you are NOT the woman for him.
Men want women they can trust and believe in. They don't want to have to sit around and wonder.........
That being said........ women, also want men they can trust and believe in. Women don't want to have to sit around and wonder, either!
2006-08-01 02:38:55 · answer #4 · answered by Primrose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always keeping your side of the street clean is the best policy making amends is saying what can I do to make this right but you should never hurt someone buy making an amends just to clear your conscience,so I would keep quiet and if this person finds out from some one else than you must be honest even if it means that tha relationship will be over or hurt.
2006-08-01 02:32:58 · answer #5 · answered by pycosal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is indeed the best policy. The truth travels in the same as you, it's just faster than you. Sooner or later it will overtake you. Even if you think that the truth won't hurt the relationship - the lie certainly will.
2006-08-01 02:30:00 · answer #6 · answered by Adrienne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confess, and apologize. Honesty is the best policy, lies will always come back to haunt you when you least expect it. You don't want to have him find out that you lied on his own. The trust, hard to build in the first place, will be broken. If someone will lie what other dishonest things will he/she do? Cheat? Steal? You don't want to go through that with someone you care about.
2006-08-01 02:30:36 · answer #7 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confess and tell the truth because when the truth comes out to light he will be upset with you. Honesty is the best policy because it is harder to get out of that lie.
2006-08-01 02:29:29 · answer #8 · answered by gentlgodis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't think lying "hurts the relationship?" You can't have a relationship without honesty. Keeping quiet about something that could be hurtful, like, "I think that's an ugly shirt" is one thing. Telling outright lies is another.
2006-08-01 02:30:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i strongly believe that honesty is the best policy because if you start lying about one thing you will end up telling a million lies to cover that one lie, so you are better off telling the truth from the start .
2006-08-01 02:33:46 · answer #10 · answered by princess11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋