I was in a serious relationship for 9 yrs with a man that I loved and believed was my soul mate. It was a mutual decison to go our separate ways 5 yrs ago. We did not want the same things from life at the time.
I have had several satisfying relationships over the years and am dating someone now.
Recently my ex's brother died suddenly. I sent a sympathy card. He called. We played telephone tag, then finally spoke for quite a while. He is living with someone. I told him that I was happy he found someone special. He replied that he broke his shoulder and she was very helpful to him since he could not get around, etc. He added that he still didn't know what he wanted .
Before we hung up, he asked me if I'd like to do lunch sometime. Thinking it was just a fiip comment that we business people often make, I said, "Sure, call me."
Two days later he left a message. I haven't returned his call.
I'm conflicted because although I got past this man, I never got over him.
Any advice?
2006-08-01 02:08:25 · 6 answers · asked by Angela 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've been in similar situation, I walked away from the first and only real love of my life because we wanted different things.
However, I wouldn't go back.. the past is the past, I often think about him and wonder what he's doing, who he's with, whether he now is married with children (the reason we split up is because I wanted that and he didn't) and whether or not he still thinks about me. Luckily, we have a lot of distance between us or I could be tempted to go back, we haven't communicated since the break up nearly 8 years ago now.
To be honest, if I were you, I wouldn't go back, you will only end up getting hurt again and he is in a relationship so there are other people to consider.
Just call him back and tell him that you've thought about it and you don't think its a good idea, tell him to have a great life and then move on, you will move on, I did, but there will always be a part of me with him. That doesn't mean I haven't been deliriously happy with other people.
2006-08-01 02:40:12 · answer #1 · answered by dirtyminx82 3 · 8⤊ 1⤋
OK maybe you thought you wasn't over him, but until the death of his brother it seemed you were because there had been no contact up to that point, a relationship that you had with someone in the past is bound to stir up emotions when you suddenly bump into them or have contact again, are you happy with who you are with now, do you want to put what you have to one side to start seeing someone from your past to see if things have changed, look he told you he was with someone else for the hell of it, he doesn't seem to know what he wants from a relationship, hasn't he already proved that to you once as it is, do you really want your heart broken again by someone who isn't sure what he wanted when he was with you let alone now, you have to look really deep into yourself and ask yourself if your prepared to go back there, if your happy just stay that way and ignore his phone calls or just phone and say sorry I got caught up in the moment and realised I'd be making a mistake and sacrificing what I have and a dinner date now or in the future isn't worth it, good luck.
2006-08-01 09:29:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
O thats really tough. My Mom always used to ay never go back etc etc and I understand why she said that. Its different strokes for folks though isnt it.
To be honest I think I would be mroe likely to regain a friendship with this man than anything beyond. This will allow you both time to come to terms with what haoppened to both of you.
After all, he is STILL saying he doesnt know what he wants....he isnt saying I want you.
Be careful.
Good luck.
2006-08-01 09:18:56 · answer #3 · answered by Ice Queen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would cut off any ties to him. I don't think your b/f you have now wouldn't like you having lunch with your ex. They are ex's for a reason and they should remain ex's. He sounds quite confused and you sound like you know what you want in life. Just keep doing what you are doing and don't worry about your ex, he'll do just fine. Enjoy the person who you are with.
2006-08-01 09:16:37 · answer #4 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your in a diffcult postiton. i have been in a relationship
for 6years and i couldnt even think of life without him,
so i admire how strong you was to walk away from this guy after all this time. but i think you have come along way now and i think
you know deep down that you have moved on.
id say meet him have a catch up, if it was meant ot be it was meant to be. good luck
2006-08-01 09:17:56 · answer #5 · answered by beavis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go eat lunch and figure out how you feel then.
2006-08-01 09:20:56 · answer #6 · answered by omsuperhoops 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋