Should your kids always behave in public?

Question

As a soon-to-be first time mommy, I've been watching other parents and how they deal with thier kids and I'm taking notes (not judging...just trying to figure out what kind of mom I want to be). I see a lot of parents disciplining their kids for acting silly (you know...just being kids). I'm sure it's frustrating for the parents because they are trying to get something done (like grocery shopping) and their kid is acting silly, but is it appropriate to tell the kid to straighten up? I know it depends on the sitation, but say it's not bothering anyone else in the store...should you just let your kid be a kid? Or do you think they should always 'behave' in public? Just wondering what your opinion is.

(I just think that people sometimes don't allow their kids to be kids...but since I'm not a parent yet, I really don't now how it is to try to get my errands done while my kids are playing and being silly...I'll soon find out) =)

What do you think?

Answer 1

There are times when your child should behave....such as in public. Remember everyone loves a good child and shows manners as being good. Noone likes to see a child misbehaving in public.
In the grocery store or shopping, you have other things on your mind to be worrying about your child, where they are, what they aredoing and so forth.

Answer 2

Well yes, kids should be kids, BUT at places FOR kids. Places like a park, pool, ... I get on my son if he acts up in the store while I'm trying to shop for groceries. You never really know if it's bothering anyone because most people don't come out and say anything. The last thing you want while trying to run errands is a hyper kid being silly and causing you a headache. I'm a believer in spanking, so if my son won't listen, I don't really care who is around because I will get him and give him a swat on his little butt. The last thing kids want is to be embarrassed in public, so they tend to listen after they see you're not joking. My only advice to you is, don't let your baby's cute smile trick you into letting them do whatever they want. Stay firm and consistent because it all pays off in the end to know you don't need to yell and that your child knows how to behave. You don't want to be that mom who lets her kids go crazy in a store. Those parents think their kids are cute, but they are really driving everyone insane by bouncing off the walls. Those kids are the future of this world. What kind of model citizens are those kids going to be when they grow up? Best of Luck to you!!

Answer 3

Mandy I LOVE this question! I feel the exact same way...my son is the silliest little boy on Earth and is TONS of fun, always making people laugh wherever we go. He know his boundaries...he is allowed to be silly when he's sitting in the cart at the store as long as he is not super loud and driving everyone else nuts. He is allowed to be silly at restaurants within reason too, we just pretty much avoid fancy restaurants all together when we have him with us because I don't think it is fair to expect him to sit quietly for over an hour while we eat! He really likes to be the center of attention (what kid doesn't!) so he tends make silly faces and sing songs and Daddy usually eggs it on anyway! Sometimes if he is getting a little too rambuncious I play games with him like "who can find more red things" and stuff like that. More often than not people comment on how cute or funny he is and tell me that he is very well-behaved boy...so I think as long as they aren't bothering anyone, let them have fun!

Answer 4

The old maxim was "children should be seen and not heard", certainly implying the kind of controlled public behaviour you are talking about.

That maxim was discarded by most parents long ago.

The only way to have children behave within such strict paradigms at all times is instill great fear in them and suppress all their normal behaviour.

Having said that, the job of a parent does amount to civilizing a wild beast. Some rules of behavour do have to be imposed upon them.

This means you have to pick your spots and battles to wage with them. A parent should be able to get their child to mind what they say (and consistency is the key here, whatever form of discipline you choose you must be consistent in the application of it). Certainly allowing a child to run amok at, say, a family funeral might be way out of line. On the other hand, if the child is too young or in too emotional a state to calm down the parent should withdraw from the public space with the child and take a "time out" with them.

There are other times when letting the child act out is not only okay, but good for them and for you. Letting off steam can do a lot to relieve stress.

As for those who get annoyed, again it is a case of judging each case on its own merits. Some times your child's behaviour is really driving someone nuts and you must be sensitive to this possibility. Other times you are faced with an individual who is just determined to take offense at anything a child does or say. Those folks you should completely ignore unless you need to intervene with them on behalf of your child.

Keep in mind: no child is well behaved all the time and no parent is perfect. You've seen stressed out parents over reacting to their child's misbehaviour in public. Some of them were probably poor examples of parents. Others may have been excellent parents just caught at a bad moment.

Good luck.

Answer 5

I think its a fine line on when to discipline. I do think kids need to be kids but I have also seen where letting things like silly behavior go too long can end up with a fight between the siblings or really inappropriate behavior. I also have seen people squelch every Little thing for being embarrassed what others will think. You have to find which behaviors you are OK with and which you find inappropriate. let your kids know whats expected and then go from there. personally am a silly person, so things like riding on carts and silly faces/noises, throwing things gently into the cart do not bother me where as hanging off if shelves and rolling on the floor would be off limits for me!

Answer 6

I think that if you teach your children to behave at home then they will naturally behave in public. However, kids WILL be kids and you will experience those embarassing moments in the store. Most times I think people are pretty understanding when a kids is goofing around, but if they are just plain unruly in public (running, screaming, taking things off shelf) then it is very important to take care of the situation right away, however you find appropriate.

Start teaching good behavior when they are young and when they are not in public. Expect them to act a certain way at home and they will impress other in the store!
So many people have complimented me on how well my kids sit in church so I know it works.

Answer 7

I believe that kids should be able be kids, but like when you are in a public place they should behave and not be running around the store. When I go to a resturant for dinner and my 23 month old daughter starts acting up I take her to the bathroom and speak with her until she calms down. If you teach them to behave in public from the first place you shouldn't have any trouble when they get a little older.

Answer 8

Kid's are going to be kid's - plus silliness makes things a lot more fun.

Adults get weird in public - some over-discipline and some under-disclipline. I think the key is consistancy.

I have taught my kids about indoor appropriate activities and outdoor appropriate activities. If we are in a store and one screams - I stop the behavior and remind that it outdoor voice. I also have never allowed a tantrum in public - we allow that behavior to be in their bedroom. I don't want them to use the 'power of being a spectacle' in this negative capacity - we as a family use the 'power of being a spectacle' by laughing , talking and engaging folks around us with our fun.

Take care - good luck

Answer 9

YES! Being a good parent means being strict and loving. If your child is acting up, pop her little @$$, kids can't be allowed t be monkeys. There is a time and a place for everything and kids should not be acting out in a public place unless it is park. If you have a hyper child, get it more active so it can tire it self out. Kids will be kids but they need to know where to act like a child and where to act like a proper child. Be strict and firm and show your boss. Good-Luck with your kid.

Answer 10

It depends on how strict the parent is I think. Some parents want their children to be perfect and act like they're in the military, others don't mind if their children run around the store screaming at the top of their lungs. I'm sure there is a happy medium you can find.