Please Help!! My daughter spent the night with my sister while my husband and I took a weekend trip.?

Question

This happened about two months ago. Since then, she can't stay the night with anyone, I have to go get her b/c she's crying to come home.This is not normal for her, she loves spending the night with friends. I have had to go get her about five times. She finally told my 17 year old daughter that my nephew who is 14 has tried to kiss her when she stayed the night at my sisters. I went to her and talked to her and she said he also asked her if she wanted to see his private parts, she said no and went out of the room. Later that day, she said they were playing a game and he took her hand and put her hand down his pants and onto his private parts for her to feel. My daughter is 8 and my nephew is 14, I was devastated. I called my sister and she same to my house and I told her what my daughter had said. She cried, got sick, and said we would talk again to figure out what to do. I called her later in the week and she said she did not want her son to relive this over and over. What about my d

Answer 1

WOW, This must be very difficult to deal with , most of all with it being family.If this child is 14 this means that he knows what he is doing & he knows right from wrong.This might be happening to him & maybe he's crying out for help? As far as your daughter you must do something she has been thru a very difficult situation & this WILL NOT pass. Him being 14 this will also continue thru out his life with others & you as a mother can not alow this to happen rather its family or not.As far as your sister not wanting him to relive this over & over, this is HER child & SHE don't want to relive this.She dont want for others to know what her son has done.You must help your daughter ,this will be with her for the rest of her life.Please don't take your fear of hurting your sister & turn it into hurting your daughter.You are the only one your daughter can turn to & if you let this go she will not ever trust in you with nothing.Please take a stand for your daughter & to make sure this 14 year old dose not do this to any one else. If he gets away with it this time he WILL do it again & again to others like your daughter.

Answer 2

First of all, if you don't pick up the phone and report him to the police you are endangering any child that comes into contact with him.

Secondly, this is not normal behavior for a 14 year old boy. He doesn't need a talk about the "birds and the bees" he needs some serious help. I have 5 daughters, we have very open discussions about sex and drugs. Kids nowdays know one hell of a lot about the "birds and bees" by 5th grade. I am in a small town of 5000 in the midwest.

A 14 year old boy KNOWS the facts of life, KNOWS the difference between right and wrong, and KNOWS what he was doing.

Yeah, I know, your afraid of angering your sister and your family, but this behavior has to be stopped now before he forces more than a hand down his pants.

Ask yourself who is more important, your child, or your sister and her pervert son.

Answer 3

First off get that baby counseling. . . talk with her and make sure she understands that what he did was wrong and that sometimes in life people like that do things like that, but it is not ok for them to do that. . .make sure you stress to her that this was not her fault. . .that she did nothing wrong (she told him no to begin with and he forced her) remind her that it is not ok to touch people there (the birds and the bees shouldn't be introduced this early unless she has many questions) Make sure she knows that you still love her and that she did the best thing by telling someone. . .the next thing is i would get that little boy into some sort of counseling too. . .he needs help, because if he is doing this now, imagine what he will be doing in a couple of years!!!!!! Make sure your baby is fine and keep them away from each other. i would confront your sister again and tell her he needs help. here are some sites that may help you out as well. They all have support groups attatched and number to contact for help. Good luck and GOD BLESS!!!!

Answer 4

That is horrible! Your daughter has been molested and violated by someone she trusted. Your daughter should'nt know about those kind of things yet and it seems it has affected her mentally and emotionally. You should get the police involved and get your daughter in to see a counsellor or therapist. Talking to someone about what had happened will help your daughter get over this devastating thing. Your nephew needs to be in counselling too and in a juvinile detention center where he can receive help. Get help before he does this again to another unsuspecting child unless he already has....

Answer 5

want her son to relive it!!Her son is the one that did this to his 8 year old cousin.Your daughter is the one that has to deal with this and i would tell your sister exactly how you feel about the situation.If she dosent help her son now then later on in life he may very well turn into a rapist or pedophile she needs to open her eyes now before its too late and get her son some help.It will take your daughter a while to get over this if ever you may want to consider getting her some councelling if her fears continue.If your sis does nothing about this it will eventually put a wedge in your relationship with her undoubtedly so.I hope everything works out for everyone involved and im sorry your baby girl had to endure that.

Answer 6

Your daughter comes first. You need to explain your daughter what happened or find someone that can explain it. She needs to know that these kinds of things, that your nephew did, is wrong and no one has the right to do things like that to her. I am sorry that your daughter had to go through something like that, at such an early age. I will be praying for you and your daughter. Good Luck!

Answer 7

Not trying to sound like a perv or anything, seriously. But it is pretty normal for a kid that age to be curious. The best thing to do is to talk about the birds and the bees. Thats for the little boy. The only thing I can tell you for your daughter is to reassure her that it isn't her fault and try to keep her mind off of it. If anything only time can heal this one and the boy will probably realize he was wrong and when he's older he'll apologise to her. But you're all blood so keep it cool.

Answer 8

Keep your daughter away from him! Maybe once your sis gets over the shock and embarrassment, I'm sure she will be more willing to talk about it with you and her son. Tell your sis that it is important to talk to him about this before it happens again...she can't let him get away with it and he needs to know that this is absolutely unacceptable. She may not realize that if she doesn't talk to him about it, it will probably escalate in the future. Stop the behaviour now!!!! I don't think it's such bad idea to seek a counsellor for you daughter.

Answer 9

This is a tough situation. If you report it to any official person (school, minister, Dr., etc..) they have to report it to Family Services (whatever it's called in your area). If that happens, they might take the boy out of your sister's house. That is the worst thing that can happen. You and your sister need to handle this yourselves. First of all you need to know that the boy is normal. Boys tend to want to have girls look, touch, feel, taste, etc... It's just a part of boys growing up. It's too bad he did it to a 6 yr old, but he did it, so you have to handle it. He needs to be sat down and told everything about the birds and the bees. He needs to learn that there are lines you don't cross, especially with children. He needs to be given books to learn about the development of boys and girls. Finally,he shouldn't be left alone with a young girl until he straightens out. As for your daughter, she needs to told about what happens as boys grow up. She needs to know that what happened wasn't because she is who she is, but it was because he is who he is. She needs to know about bodily development and why he did it. She also needs to know that no harm was meant, it was his overwhelming lack of control. Try to handle it at home. If there is no improvement in her (or him), carefully interview a family counselor and let them know what happened, and when you find a good one, put her into a couple sessions of counselling. Good Luck

Answer 10

He needs to be reported to childrens services because he will do this again, if not to your daughter to someone else. Both children need counseling. He does and your daughter does. If money is an issue as far as counseling goes for your daughter you can usually find income based counseling through childrens services or a clergyman or clergywoman can counsel her. She's been sexually molested and victimized. She needs help now.