My gf and I have been together for over 14 months although we were broke up for 2 weeks but we got together last week. I love her with all my heart and I know she loves me but we were moving to fast and we have decided to slow down. A few months ago I had bought her a promise ring. She wore it eveywhere and she seemed to love it but for some reason things got to tight for her or to fast for her so she stopped wearing it and ended up leaving it at her friends house. I don't think she has even given it a second thought or anything, Before I bought her the promise ring I had also given her a friendship ring but she doesn't wear it either. She tells me she still loves me and plans to be with me for good, so my question is does she just not like the rings I bought her or what is the deal? Can any of you enlighten me on this?
2006-08-01 00:46:00 · 21 answers · asked by shycountryboy85 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe the rings aren't as important to her as they are to you. She may have left them at her friends but isn't thinking about them so much (like you are). If she says she loves you and wants to stay with you, then you must trust her words. I think there's a good chance you are reading more into it than there is.
2006-08-01 00:51:42 · answer #1 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to her. Maybe things are moving too fast and she has second thoughts about commitment. Maybe the fact that she would be with only one person the rest of her life scared her, so she decided to take the ring off. She could have taken it off to show that things needed to slow down, maybe she doesnt want to be serious right now. She may want some time to just think about everything, marriage and promise rings are a big step in a relationship. She may love the rings, but be afraid of what comes with the rings. Talk to her and ask her why she doesnt wear either of them anymore, that is the best way to find out what is really going on. Good luck.
2006-08-01 07:53:18 · answer #2 · answered by lacia2159 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was going to say that she probably doesn't like the rings. (Have you looked at her other jewelry and does it seem to match the style?)
BUT.. what's with the "we decided to slow it down?" Was it HER idea? If so, then I think there is a little more to it. What about her general behaviour? Did she want to slow it down so she could spend more time with other people? I think she may be losing interest or finding interest in others but is keeping you hanging on just in case. Dont be a doormat! If you think she is just keeping you in the wings, don't let her push you around no matter how much you dig her.
Women respect a man who will stand up for themselves and many women will also walk over a man & take advantage of a man with good nature if you let them.
I was young stupid and selfish once and it was very easy to keep boys hanging on by just giving them a little hope now and then. Be careful hon
2006-08-01 08:05:07 · answer #3 · answered by punkvixen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah... this is hard... Well, u and ur gal should try n clear things up first... If she really loves you, she'll come clean. Or so I think. A relationship has no secrets, or, no big ones, anyway. Let her know that you want her to be honest with it; that even if she doesn't like the rings, it's not gonna be that big a deal. She's been with you for 14 months, she should be into you by now. Maybe she doesn't want to tell you cuz it might hurt your feelings since you bought them for her and all... I dunno, but it's either that, or maybe... she doesn't feel for you as she says she does..
talk to her, and ask...
Good luck, though. I hope u guys r happy in the end.
2006-08-01 08:00:02 · answer #4 · answered by Trekkie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't know. Back in high school when the promise ring thing was common, I'd wear one if the boy I was dating gave it to me. The only way to really know is to ask her. Since you are just now back together again she may just feel more comfortable holding off on wearing the ring. Maybe she is afraid of commitment. So, just ask her what's going on...you can't have a healthy relationship without honesty.
2006-08-01 07:51:00 · answer #5 · answered by laetusatheos 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry dude, I'm a dude. She's not wearing it because you're pressuring her. She thinks you're too needy, and forcing her to wear the rings. Trust me. Nothing makes someone back away more than someone pursuing. So, just chill about the rings, and say, oh those rings? oh yeah.. what happened to those things anyway?... just act like you don't care about them. Then she'll put them on on her own will, and you will be satisfied. But if you're like.. why won't you wear it? why? why? why not? oh noooo, oh nooo, she won't wear the riiiing?!?! do you think she's gonna like a person like that? and wear that guys promise ring? dude... you're kidding yourself if you think so. JJJJJJuuuuust chill out a bit, and support her decision. When she feels you've really, honestly backed down, she'll put the rings back on. Relationships are push pull push pull. if you push, she'll pull away. If you pull away, she'll push forward. it's real simple. Realize that it's just a ring, and it's something you need deep down... because it's your little confidence boost, or whatever.. like yup, she's wearing that ring. she's MINE!!! MINE!!! MINE!!!! my precious... and now that she's not wearing it, you're like ooh gooodd, noooo... is she mine?? is she??+ aahhh. Realize deep down that you don't need the ring, and you need to have confidence without the ring. When that confidence shines through, she'll probably put the ring on, but by then it will just be something nice. REALIZE YOU DON'T NEED the ring. You just want it. When you can get to the bottom of that, you'll be fine and your relationship will move forward.
2006-08-01 07:56:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be that the ring is a symbol to everyone else that she is taken and unavailable? She may not be ready for that. Best way to find out is to ask her. Just see where you two stand. If the relationship is at the point you want it to be you would not be posting this question. Proceed with caution and communicate your feelings to her and ask her hers. Let the relationship develop and enjoy yourself. Best of luck.
2006-08-01 08:00:57 · answer #7 · answered by Can do it man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, could it be, that she's just not a "ring thing"?
I do keep laying my ring around all the time (being a medical professional, I have to wash my hands often and it is just easier for me not to have any jewellery on). But it doesn't prevent me from having a happy, loving relationship, frankly.
2006-08-01 07:51:41 · answer #8 · answered by Crastane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her how she feels. Maybe she's just not into rings and stuff like that. But if she accepted it and isn't into that, then she should tell you that too. It sounds to me like the lines of communication aren't open there. If you love her and she loves you, talk to each other.
2006-08-01 07:50:44 · answer #9 · answered by younggb77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like she is playing games with you. I was with my x girlfriend for 4 years. Never took the ring off. Infact... we have been broke up since January and I still wear it. She is not showing good signs. If you stay with her...at least don't buy her anything else.
2006-08-01 07:50:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋