Hectic 4 yr old?

Question

My son is the most beautiful, intelligent little boy in the world. Hes my life. The 2 of us are always laughing and playing around etc. But at times (especially when we've got company) then he gets out of hand. I used to think its coz he wants my attention, but even when I give it to him, he continues with his little "performances". I do spank him... and it doesnt often work since hes as stubborn as his mom! I dont know what to do.

Answer 1

Well, I'd start by not spanking him anymore. Especially if it isn't working!

Talk to him about what you expect of him before company comes over. Work on teaching him not to interrupt or how to say "excuse me" when he needs something.

Teach him about "monkey energy" and when it's OK to use "monkey energy." Read him some Curious George books and let him see how George gets in trouble because of his "monkey energy." Then have him "use up his monkey energy" by giving him a countdown to be wild and blow off his energy jumping or something for so long. When time runs off, help him "put a lid on the bottle" by putting his hands on his head like he's pushing the lid on. Then the monkey energy has to "stay in the bottle" until it's a time and place to use it again.

Answer 2

Sounds like you are more of a friend to him than a parent, just by the way you described him and your relationship "laughing and playing around etc". Sounds like something you'd do with a friend. I mean I play with my children all of the time but it just came off that way when I read it. If spanking isn't working then you need to try something else. There's always time-out, those work pretty well if you do them right. My four year old threw a fit yesterday so I put her bed in the middle of the room (where she couldn't kick/hit anything) and let her sit/lay there for 5 minutes. She wasn't calmed down by the end of that 5 minutes and threw an even bigger fit so she stayed for another 5 minutes. Sometimes it might end up being a half hour but he WILL learn. Tell him that behavior is NOT acceptable, and put him in time out WHILE the company is there! Don't wait until later because that will only confuse him. Good luck..

Answer 3

Kids that age do tend to act out when there's company around. My 3 year old frequently behaves differently (and not as well) when she's around people she doesn't see often. The spanking probably isn't helping matters. You could take him aside and get down on his level and tell him you need him to settle down and behave just for a little while and then you 2 can go do something very special together. But don't expect too much - he's active, he's four, he's a boy!

Answer 4

instead of spanking your little one, you might try some of these positive discipline techniques the next time he gets out of hand:

1. Be firm and be kind.
A child is more likely to hear what you're saying if you use a neutral tone.

2. Pause.
There's nothing wrong with saying, "I'm too angry to deal with this now. We'll talk about it later."

3. Teach your kids.
Instead of punishing a child for misbehaving, think in terms of teaching him to behave. "I don't like it when you leave your skateboard in the front hall. Next time, please put it in the mudroom. How can I help you remember?"

4. Be positive.
Instead of saying, "How many times do I need to ask you to brush your teeth?" Say, "Go brush your teeth and let me know when you've finished so I can tuck you in."

5. Give explanations, not threats.
By giving your child a brief explanation of why she needs to do as she's told, you give her a reason to behave.

you can get a lot more information for dealing with a 'hectic' toddler on iVillage's parenting pages. Check out http://parenting.ivillage.com/tp/tpbehavior/topics/0,,4rtv,00.html for more ideas on using discipline with love

Answer 5

Well... Spanking him is bad in this case because your giving him attention.

Maybe you should empty his room of everything except for a bed,desk and clothes. Be super strict, don't tolerate
lying
cheating
stealing
back-sass
hitting
spitting
(etc.)
He will eventually learn that he isn't getting attention. Make him tell his dad what he did daily. Maybe you should try the sticker system.

When he is good for one day, give him a sticker, on Sunday give him a toy back, not of his choice, but of your choice, if he complains about it, take the toy back. When he See's that he isn't getting his way, he'll learn to appreciate what he has, and not to take things for granted. That way he gets a lesson and discipline. Good-Luck!

Answer 6

He is just 4 yrs old. And all 4 yrs old do the same . U can't expect yr son to behave like a grownup. It takes time to grow up. U sud be happy that ur son is active and healthy.

Answer 7

I have a 4 year old that does the same thing. If it gets too out of hand he goes into time out but other that that we just let him carry on after a while he finally stops and goes on with his business

Answer 8

He does want your attention, and spanking to him is still getting your attention. There are several things you can do, BUT always explain to him why you are doing them. IE Send him to his room and tell him it is not because you don't want to spend time with him, but he is misbehaving and when he will behave, he can rejoin you and your friends. Let your husband be the one to "pay attention" when he misbehaves, and explain to him that again, you love him and daddy loves him but he needs to behave. Or, (this one can be trying) ignore the bad actions all together.

Answer 9

Ah a typical 4 year old, even if you are fed up right now, you'll look back with affection, so quit the spanking.

Answer 10

My Princess too :) She's my life. We paint, we play building blocks and all sorts...but when its comes to my mum's house. She's like getting on my nerves.... I do not know what to do except, keep quiet and only reason out with her when I leaves my mum's home (Blood vessels bursting).... Is that our 4 yrs old beauty? Hahaha.... Take Care!