I have two kids and I've just found out that I'm pregnant my boyfriend thinks I should get an abortion

Question

What should I do HELP?

Answer 1

Are the first two children your boyfriends and is the current child your bf's. Sorry too much talk shows. Any man that asks you to have an abortion is selfish and arrogant. He help make the baby and need to take the responsible. If he doesn't want to care for the child leave his *** and find a REAL man!!!

*REMEMBER* You can't change your decison that you make!!!

Answer 2

This is a really tough one -- the thing is I have been through the SAME thing. I have two children (ages 6 and 8)... I got pregnant about 2.5 years ago and my boyfriend was initiating an abortion (so was his Mother, etc...). I was in the middle of a divorce (already separated, etc...). I didn't really know which way was up or down -- I was so overwhelmed. At the time, I had to also help my ex sell our home and be away f/my boyfriend for fairly long periods of time. I was then looking at living and working and being the custodial parent of my two daughters. To make a long story short, I did end up having the abortion... In a variety of PRACTICAL ways, it turned out to be the 'right' thing to do... I have a good job, a nice home for my girls, can seem to at least afford their care (w/ the ex's help with $), etc... But...this is a choice that I still think about almost on a daily basis. The boyfriend is still in my life -- he DOES love me very much (despite what most people who would/will respond would say). He was ALSO in a very vulnerable place in his life and with his own daughter and divorce. We are still trying to pull our lives together and have it be sustainable (with ex's involved, their location, $, school districts, etc..) BUT again, the choice of having had an abortion haunts me. It is NOT EASY and I live with it in my life -- he does too (at least I think...! ;-) The one thing that really bothers/scares me now is WHAT IF I were to get pregnant again - right now we am only using over the counter b/c (no more pills/ IUD, etc...). I know in my heart that I WOULD NOT make the same choice again - NOT A CHANCE, no matter what.

Hope this helps in some way.... You will make the right decision for YOU. No matter what others say....and how they are indicating that perhaps your bf doesn't love you (and that he SHOULD marry you), don't listen. Only YOU know that in your heart. There are lots of different types of people in this world, and we all make decisions based on our cirumstances at the time. If you know your bf loves you, then feel that and don't let others tell you it's not true.

Good luck with all of this.

Answer 3

I don't think that is a good decision becasuse of the simple fact that some women are out here and can't get pregnant so enjoy it while you can because later on you may not be able to get pregnant. And look at it on the bright side,if your financial situation doesn't look right then there are couples out there who are desperate to have a baby in the house, and if you financial situation is okay then go for it, keep the child. Your boyfriend can do only three things he can stay and deal with it, he can leave and miss it because it's with better parents, or he can leave and have child support kick his tail.

Answer 4

Of course I'll say don't have the abortion. But do what YOU want to do. But think about how you felt when you first held your other kids. Could you imagine hurting them in any way? If your boyfriend doesn't want to be in it's life then by all means let him go and make him pay. I'm not saying that it will be easy but you are JUST girlfriend and boyfriend. You're not married so there is no attachment outside of emotional (which is why it's soo hard). But don't think about him now, you know what HE wants you to do, think about what YOU want to do. No you weren't prepared for a 3rd child but were you prepared for the first 2? Just think long and hard about it. Good Luck

Answer 5

Well, that's a question that is up to you. Do YOU want an abortion? Do you have moral objection to it? Do you want the responsibility of another baby. Considering your boyfriend's view on it, I wouldn't expect him to want to help a lot, so are you ready for the responsibility alone? You can consider adoption as another option if you do not wish to have an abortion, but do not think you can handling the additional responsibility (and it IS a whole lot of work). You have his opinion, now the final decision is yours. Good luck

Answer 6

being a mother of two already and knowing how wonderful pregnancy can be could you really live with yourself if you got an abortion? if he really doesn't want this child then maybe you could give it up for adoption

im 23weeks pregnant and when i found out that i was i cried because i wasn't ready and my bf wasn't the happiest either but now i know that this pregnancy is a gift from god and we are both so thankful that we are going to have a healthy baby boy ...my cousin and her husband have tried to have a baby twice now and both times she lost it i can't imagine what thats like and i hope i never have to ...... whatever you decide good luck to you

Answer 7

This is a choice only you can make. I suggest you consider the long term effects of both an abortion and having a third child before you make any decisions. One thing to keep in mind, it doesn't sound like he will be of any help to you if you decide to have this baby, so prepare yourself to do it on your own.

Answer 8

think it through and make your decision, don't let whatever your boyfriend says affect what you really want to do. if you think you can manage with another child, then just ignore your boyfriend and have the baby. if you really think you don't have the financial or mental critieria for another baby, i guess you'll have to get it aborted. although it won't be that easy as it sounds, cuz you are gonna give up a living thing.

think it through and make a right decision that you know you won't regret.
best of luck :)

Answer 9

Ask yourself these questions:
1. Are you financially secure enough for another baby?
2. Will you beable to maitain 3 kids? ie. Love,Money,Support

Your decision should be based on your love for your other kids.
Personally, I would not keep the baby if I knew it would affect my other kids negatively... eg. I cant support all of them etc.

Your man should put a ring on your finger and start investing in rubbers! Tell him to choose: You or the Highway! Your kids need to have a strong stable male figure around them. Not someone who cant make up their minds!

Answer 10

No man is worth the life of your baby. Boyfriends come and go, but your child is your child forever. If he cares so little about his own son or daughter and your physical and emotional well-being, he is not worth anymore of your grief and time. Tell him that you are not the type of woman who can kill her own baby, and that if he is the type of man to ask such a thing, he can hit the road. Tell him that you are also not about to put your life and health at risk so that he can avoid responsibility.

Remember, no one can force you to abort your child. If you are pregnant, you need to be like a momma bear and protect your child at all costs. Your baby is depending on you. You would never let anyone hurt one of your born children, right? You'd probably kill them first! Please resolve not to let anyone hurt his unborn baby, either. He or she is just as much your child as your born children. He or she is their little brother or sister!

Also, keep in mind that your boyfriend is obligated to pay child support regardless of his feelings towards his child. This is as it should be, and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. He made the choice to have sex with you.

If you violate all your maternal instincts and hurt this baby, it will haunt you for the rest of your life. Also, abortion is very dangerous for your physical and emotional well-being. It doesn't make anything better. It only makes these worse. Please make sure you have all the facts:

Photos of Abortions:
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html

A Four-Minute, Must-See Video on Abortion:
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html

Information on All Aspects of Abortion:
http://Abort73.com

Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm

Pain Perception in the Unborn:
http://www.advocatesfortheinnocent.com/fetalpain.html

Abortion Stories:
http://abortiontv.com/Words/truestoriesfrom-mothers.htm
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-G-2-testimony.html

Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp
http://www.standupgirl.com/site/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=218&Itemid=40

Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html
http://www.lifeissues.org/ru486/deaths.htm

Free, Confidential Pregnancy Help (including referrals for financial, medical, legal, and housing assistance; free pregnancy tests and ultrasounds; free maternity and baby supplies; pregnancy, parenting, and adoption information; counseling and emotional support):
http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp

Support for Pregnant Teens:
http://standupgirl.com/site/index.php

Support for Pregnant College and Career Women:
http://www.nurturingnetwork.org