Girls/Women: I Have a Huge Problem--Please Advise!?

Question

A friend of mine started dating a guy with whom I work. I only introduced them at Happy Hour one night. She's white and he's black. Her father discovered that she was dating him and said: "Whether you are serious or not, you have ruined my image of you, and now we will never be able to have nice family holiday gatherings again. I probably won't even put up a Christmas tree this year because I won't see my daughter sitting under it, I'll see White Trash."

Needless to say, my friend is devastated by her father's words. She has always been really close to him. She can barely stop crying and it's been three days now. To make matters even worse, when my co-worker called her, she said all sorts of nasty stuff to him, told him never to come near her again, and said that the more she thought about them dating--she wanted to "vomit."

My friend has always been a really nice girl, but this situation is out of control. Plus, I have to work with this guy!!! What to do?

Oh my God--enough already with the comments about her father's views. This is not what this is about!!! His views are his views. He's a grown man. Your social agenda is not relevant to solving the issues as they relate to my two friendships.

Answer 1

You are in a situation to help both people, and it's great that you are willing to reach out and do so.

For your girlfriend: Be there to console her. Let her know that since she ended the relationship, her dad will get over it and they'll be close family again. She can tell her dad that this young man had a lot of qualities that reminded her of her hero--her dad, and that will soften his hard heart.

As for your co-worker, be friendly but don't in any way take responsibility for what has happened. You were not matchmaking, he took his chances and lost. Surely he should have considered that something like this could happen with either his family or hers, and the responsible thing to do would have been for him to discuss the possibility with the girl and for them to have worked out how they would handle it.

It's not reasonable for him to treat you in any less than friendly way because of this.

Good luck, and again. bless you for extending yourself!

Answer 2

Well we all have friends with flaws and preferences but this so unds more of a racial bias than anything else. I would firstly apologize to the gentlemen with whom I work with and then I would address the problem with my friend. I would take into consideration the Lent of the friendship and whether or not it is a strong union... I dont think that I would ever be friends with a racist! Never....! and this has nothing to do with both myself and the co worker being black... I am just strongly against bigotry... I dont know how I WOULD deal with a situation like this because I'd be afraid to do anything or do anything with my friend knowing that both she and here family are dealing with these type of issues. .. Unless she is absolutely a great friend I was ditch her and her dumb dad!

Answer 3

You can't really blame yourself or feel guilty about this situation because what you did was a perfectly normal innocent thing hooking two friends up. I would say that you shouldn't get involved with her relationship with her father, its a personal matter for her and if he is very stubborn it could get worse and it seems it would be way too hard for your friend if she loses her relationship with her father, even if he is a racist. The only thing I recommend you do is talk to your female friend and tell her she should be a little more polite to your co-worker when letting him know that she doesn't want to date him anymore. I don't think your co-worker will blame you at all if he knows the situation. He might be very offended with your friend, but they don't have to meet again.

Answer 4

firstly, sorry but i`m a man. a white man with a black father who i love very much. if her father is that far back in the past, then maybe he needs bringing into the future. i have never understood this racist thing but i know it goes on (sadly) you must feel bad your self having introduced them but you should`nt if they did`nt wont to be together, then they would`nt be, its as simple as that. farthers are not always right or is this a family thing? hope not! do you have a problem with this guy your self? if not then just be friends like before and hopfully things will work them selves out. by the way, you co workers an idiot. dont take too much on your shoulders, its not really your problem......is it!! good luck hope i help a little. andy

Answer 5

ok, To be totally honest properly the following... and that is what im doing! length does topic. If u r a small lady, and kno (after tryn) that u cant accommodate him... u can purpose harm there. such diverse females say there is not this kind of component as "TOO huge". BS... Im 5'3 and wiegh one hundred ten, my ex husband became once a foot taller.. and nicely endowed. It didnt artwork. No 2 women r alike, and regrettably... some r more effective, smaller, deeper,or a lot less shallow. U will not in any respect recognize till eventually u furnish the guy a take a seem at! If u stumble on it "uncomfortable", then u will stretch through the years. do not basically assume that its now not achievable. If u "harm", see if u can doubtlessly stumble on a more effective accommodating function. mendacity on ur back, or side ought to likely settle on the precedence. Do now not take a seem at "domestic dog" or yet another positions in which he's contained in the back of u till eventually u kno what u can cope with. If after 3-4 cases u hav no luck, u could ascertain out masturbating with a huge smooth rubber dildo till eventually u can stretch urself out slightly. If that doesn't help... U ought to ought to take the next step. communicate with the guy befor hand, or do what I did... carry fairly and experiment the water. U recognize higher that any1 - what u can cope with. And opportunities are - he recognizes the undeniable reality that he's gigantic. I significantly doubt he's gonna take a seem at it too hard or too quickly the regularly happening few cases..sturdy sturdy fortune!

Answer 6

Back off.. You may feel guilty or somehow "connected" because you introduced them but this is not your deal anymore. Your friend needs to practice better self control and cut the cord from her racist father. Its the 21st century!! As for your co-worker...if things are akward you can try apologizing or being friendly. He is probably just hurt and confused. I know this sucks, but there is not much you can do..

Answer 7

It doesn't really matter if your friend fell in love with a black guy. They love each other and that's what counts. Maybe you could explain what's going on to her father or ask your friend to. And you could tell the guy that your friend is going through a hard time-I'm sure he'll understand. Your friend really is going through a hard time but she shouldn't take it out on him. I hope you found my advise useful and I hope you can bring them back together!!!

Answer 8

Her dad is a useless Klan member: Avoid him
Your friend is immature and cannot think for herself. Oh daddy redneck don't like me wit dem coloreds!: Give her a few choice words for treating your coworker like S#%T! And never see her again.
Apologize to your coworker for introducing him to that piece o crap!

Answer 9

Tell your friend to be selective in dating for future. Tell her to forget abut it since it is no big deal. You continue working as if nothing changed.

Answer 10

See Links!

http://www.littlegeneva.com/images/aids_graph.jpg

http://www.newnation.org/NNN-hatecrimes.html

http://www.newnation.org/NNN-Black-on-White.html

http://www.tightrope.cc/rap.htm