2006-07-31 23:57:41 · 11 answers · asked by BASE L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Ever heard the old saying " To many cooks in the kitchen"?
Two women can not live in the same house without fighting usually. And depending on who's house your in it is like this. Wife feels mother is law in stepping in her territory and vise versa.
Mothers have a hard time letting their little boys go and wife's have a hard time sharing their husbands with anyone other then maybe the kids and Ive seen some women that don't want to even share with her kids. Wife's feel that mommy had them for 18 yrs or so and now they need to back off and let him be a man.
I wish more men and women for that matter would remember this part of their wedding vows " Forsaking all others"
When you marry everyone else is suppose to go on the back burner. Your not suppose to let mommy/daddy come first. Or anyone else for that matter.
You may be afraid of hurting your parents feelings but just explain to them that when you got married that you made a promise to God and to your spouse to "forsake all others" and do they really expect you not to fulfill you wedding vows that you made before God.
On the same token women need to think about this.
You go running to your mommy when you need her, need someone to talk to etc.........don't expect your husband to want to do anything less.
And also if you stop and think about it....men who love and respect their mothers usually make better husbands. You can always tell how a man is by the way he treats his mother.
And women sit down with your mother in law and have along talk. Tell them that you aren't there to take her son away from her. That you would like to believe that instead of her losing a son, that she has gained a daughter.
And respect is a large issue. Usually if you will show your mother in law respect then she will show you respect in return.
Last but not least...............Pick your battles wisely.
that goes for with your husbands, mother in law, kids and everyone else.
I know that I don't have the energy to fight with all of them so I pick my battles and save my sanity.
2006-08-01 00:30:14 · answer #1 · answered by ETxYellowRose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a question of perceptions and the attitude. The mothers-in-law were also some years back daughters-in-law and the daughters-in-law after some years wud be mothers-in-law. They both have to think in those linnes. Some live their life thru past experiences and some think about their future years and try to be corrective. If only they compromise with each other do'nt ya think that the World would be actually called by another word -- Paradise!!
2006-08-01 00:05:31 · answer #2 · answered by easyboy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because the dil is not married to the mil, she is married to her husband and they have their own family now. They made a committment to each other not to the mil or anyone else for that fact, and the only person she HAS to compromise for is her husband and their family, not the in laws.
2006-08-01 00:03:23 · answer #3 · answered by jad26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some do and some don't. It just depends on the people and if it is because they both want to be in charge (the boss). I would say it would be hardest on the man involved husband aka son. Poor guy. The why of it can be difficult to answer, they just need to learn to get along or at least agree to disagree.
2006-08-01 00:03:57 · answer #4 · answered by cass 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to me; its because neither one wants to compromise and be the bigger person. or be told they are wrong.
this kind of relationship is like the mother-daughter relationship and that has no compromises either.
so your relationship with in-laws is really difficult.
all you can do is just meet the other person half way no matter what. even though it is harder to say than to do.
2006-08-01 00:05:47 · answer #5 · answered by cats3inhouse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me: The reason I will not compromise w/ my MIL is b/c this is my life. I am raising my kids how I want to, I treat my hubby (her son) how I want to and I do what I want to.
My marriage is SO different from what her's is...and truthfully she is jealous.
And I know that he is always her son, BUT he is my husband....and the father of my kids so all his time now is focused on us, she hates that. (He is an only child)
We get along b/c we have to and that is it.
2006-08-01 00:49:30 · answer #6 · answered by SouthernKNC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hai
The reason is that we do not treat mother-in-law as mother and she do not treat as her own daughter. If both understands that, there will not be any misunderstandings between them. Life goes softly and peacefully.
2006-08-01 00:07:52 · answer #7 · answered by vijaya l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they both sort of conquer the first place in the son's/man's heart! :))
2006-08-01 00:02:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why?
I know the answer she have differculty getting along with you.
2006-08-01 00:03:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they are not married to each other.
2006-08-01 00:07:32 · answer #10 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋