I've been dating the same wonderful man for a while now. He treats me like a queen and he's gorgeous. I have absolutely no complaints with him. But he started talking about marriage, and it's just freaking me out. Now I'm rethinking our whole relationship...thinking about what else is out there...maybe he's not the one. I really truly love him though, and I think he is the one....but how can you ever be sure?? I don't want to leave a wonderful healthy relationship b/c I'm afraid to commit. I just don't want to waste years of my life with the wrong person. How do I know for sure? I think about commitment, and I want to run away. Being single is just so much more fun! But then again, I love having this wonderful kind man to share my life with....what do I do?
2006-07-31 23:41:02 · 30 answers · asked by Cy 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Some of these answers are ridiculous!! (others are good) I'm only 24, so stop with the over 30 stuff already. And I was married for 4 years. I know what marriage is about. My husband died. Now, I don't know what I want anymore, and I'm just asking for advice. geez...
2006-08-01 00:10:53 · update #1
I think you aren't ready to get married. Tell him that you need some time. Keep your relationships with him and you will see if his your the only one in your heart. You just need some time. If you love him and he loves you and you are the perfect match, then there won't be a "waste of years with the wrong person". Love him and keep having precious moments with him, don't run away! Stay with him and study him more closely. Then when you are ready marry him. In front of your computer i see a woman that has found the man she's looking for. Take some time, he will understand. you aren't ready yet. You are surprised about the idea of getting married. Stay in that relationship and think more how your life will be so wonderful after you married. Don't run away, you will make a big mistake if you leave him.
2006-07-31 23:54:49 · answer #1 · answered by Soso 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Good heavens, no wonder you are phobic about commitments. Look, you are 19, and way too young for a commitment to one girl at this time. So is she, especially if she hasn't even decided which way she wants to swing yet. Of course you can be happy with her at times. I was happy at times living with my sociopathic ex husband. Doesn't make that a good relationship. Thinking that you will not be able to find another girl to have sex with if you break up with her is no reason to move in with her and get married. That is a very, very immature way to look at this. Sometimes a bird in the hand is NOT better than two in the bush. You are afraid because you know that moving in is not a good idea. Not now. Not with her. Sorry, it is hard to have a healthy relationship with someone who is struggling with depression and sexual identity problems. Don't mistake sympathy for love. They are not the same thing. I am almost certain your can make better choices.
2016-03-27 12:04:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people get cold feet when the "M" word is discussed for the first time. Let him know what you just told us and ask him to wait for any kind of a response. Still talk about marriage, get used to the idea and in a few months or even a year you may be ready.
I've been married for almost 10 years. All I can give for advise is TALK, TALK, TALK!!! Men hate it but at least it puts everything out on the table and there will be no surprises!
GOOD LUCK!!
2006-07-31 23:47:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah being single is alot of fun, but don't yoiu think its alot more fun and just the feeling of someone is there for you is alot better? You don't have to be afraid of commitment.. You should not be afraid of getting hurt coz its a part of loving. Without hurt, you will not grow as a person and will not learn. So better be not afraid of commitment just enjoy it. If it didn't work, then don't be sorry atleast you learned so the next you will be in a commitment again you will never do the same mistake right?
2006-07-31 23:47:41 · answer #4 · answered by yummy _me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think, personally, you're lying to yourself.
I think there are a number of things going on here... none of which you're describing in your "question".
First, you have described what everyone looks for in a relationship... especially woman... and you're not happy about it.
So whys that? Well, possible answer include:
1) somethings missing
2) You think it's the BAIT and SWITCH routine, and as soon as he GETS YA... he's going to stop
3) You're not looking for a relationship yet, now or ever.... you're looking for a bad boy... maybe someone who treats you a little bad. (so you feel worth of the rest of it)
How do you know for sure? Well that's simple YOU NEVER KNOW... but id this is 1/2 as good as you describe it... it should be worth a chance.
And all the good behavior in the world doesn't mean diddly if he just doesn't DO IT for you... and there isn't great chemistry.
SO...think about this and then:
Commit for a while, or
See Other People
or at least try to figure out why this one isn't a NO BRAINER.
(For what it's worth, that how it feels to me)
2006-07-31 23:48:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there anything you don't like about him? If there isn't anything, and you love him, you should consider the thought. You should be happy to have somebody you love and trust! Just have a look in yahoo answers, single and dating... So many unhappy...
Marriage is commitment. Marriage means that you love that person and in coming difficulties you will get through them together! You will work on each other, taking out the good qualities of each other. That's what marriage is about, building, growing, growing closer. ... and that's what you have to think about! Every person .. you and me ... we will have difficulties in life, there are good times and bad times, the trick is not to file for devorce, the trick is to work with each other. To make decisions together.
so ... Do you want to share the rest of your life with him? and live happily ever after?!
Or do you want to feel sorry all your life for missing such a golden opportunity...
2006-07-31 23:43:06 · answer #6 · answered by Shiry Madison 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you be sure that he is the one?? You can't. No one can. There has never been a relationship that has ever been 100% certain.. ever...
What you are saying is perfectly normal though.. we all go through the same uncertainty.. you are thinking the right way though and thinking this BEFORE you marry someone.. not everyone does.. that shows a lot of maturity.
There is no easy answer.. maybe show him your question...he deserves the chance to help you through your uncertainty :)
Good Luck!
2006-07-31 23:51:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey you wrote so much to said that you just want to have fun.Think how much you will break this guys' heart.Do you think you will get another man like him.Boy what a slut you are(sorry to say that).Just got carry away for that moment.Well hope you make the right decisions nobody not even god can help you with it.Solve it yourselves then blame the whole world for your mistake.Bye & hope you can pass your life happily without commitment.
2006-07-31 23:52:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've discussed this problem with the people from webdate_dot_com, and we think that you should talk to him about it. From what you just said, it seems like he's rushing too much from your relationship. I think you just need to make it clear to him that you're not yet ready for a commitment. If he understands, then it buys you time to get prepared for a commitment. If he doesn't understand, tough luck. But at least you took a stand.
2006-08-01 00:14:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, marriage is not all romance and love. If you are compatible and are attracted to the man, and if he is good to you, marry him and love will come. Do not do as I did and let the good ones go. That love feeling comes and goes in a marriage and you do not have it continually. Just marry the guy and be good to him also.
2006-07-31 23:49:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋