what to do with a child, u think could been molested?

Question

My friends son is 7 and i baby sit him sometimes. I caught him a few times with his pants down and doing alot of unappropriate things. I havent told the mother yet because i know she will freak out and i thought that maybe it was just normal for a child to do that. But something is always naggin at the back of my head that something is wrong.

Well anyways today i had a talk with him and i told him that he shouldnt be scared about anything. Everything he said to me shocked the hell out of me. He opened up a little but it seem like he was too ashamed to tell me more. So far he told me that he had seen his father "Sexing" his girlfriend in his bed. He would say that his father watches nasty movies and his father would tell him that it was okay for him to watch. Now i know something is wrong. WHat steps should i take. THe last time the boy visited his father was 2 years ago and would that considered as being sexual abuse?

Answer 1

Yes, that is considered abuse.

How do you feel about the mother?
Can you ask her aside and tell her your concerns?

I would do that first.
Yes, first response is going to be freak out. But, remember, she is a parent and being a parent gives a person an amazing strength. Momma lioness and her cub, you know.
There is a good chance that she simply needs an outsider to point it out for her to see it. And once seen, she can take action to make sure the child is never again exposed to such and get him the counseling he may need.

Now, it will be very difficult for the child to talk to his mother about this, particularly with the father/mother thing. S/he won't want to get "daddy" into trouble.
Thus before she jumps on the boy for answers, I would take the child to his school councilor just to talk about the inappropriate things he does. Just a calm chat with a trained professional can reveal wonders of details.


If the mother is not an option, then go to the school councilor yourself.

It can not be ignored!
Even abuse from such a young age can fester over years, affecting how he feels and treats and reacts with other people, particularly the opposite gender. I should say "especially from such a young age" for it is in these first, delegate years that a child is imprinted with the social traits s/he will carry with him their entire life!

The Chronicler

Answer 2

Yes! Letting a child under 18 view porn is considered sexual abuse along with committing a sexual act in the presence of a minor. You HAVE to tell the mother. You need to alert the authorities and get the child some professional support. He should go to a doctor and be checked physically, although I suspect the father didn't actually molest the child beyond allowing to witness these things. Even so, this needs professional attention.

Answer 3

You need to tell the mother, but I'm not convinced that the story the boy is telling is true. I don't think a visit 2 years ago would be that easy for a 7 year old to recall. It is very important to have all the facts straight before you accuse someone of sexual abuse as it can ruin their life whether or not it is true.

Answer 4

Yes! that is abuse! tell the mom, be prepared she may not belive you, she may fire u, just cause she is uncomfortable. Tell her anyway, u will be doing the right thing. Also contact children's services in your area just incase the mom does nothing. Tell the service worker everything he told u and all that u know about the situation. Call children's services in the fathers area if posible and report him. If you get to speak with the child tell him u r hear to listen anytime, this is sooo important! he may tell u more. Just keep trying to get him help. Call his teachers if u have to and tell them whats going on. Finaly if nothing else works call the police and tell them. this is a hard situaion, just do the best u can. Suggest to his mom that he migt need some conceling.

Answer 5

The poor child has been exposed to inappropriate things and it will probably cause him to see sex in a distorted way.I think you should tell his mother and convince her to take him to counselling.It is not abuse but it is still damaging to the child.Maybe the mother should decide not to let the child see the father at home unless he behaves appropriately and if the father disagrees get some legal counselling as to what's to be done.

Answer 6

Yes tell your friend before you tell anyone else about it chances are she probably does not know what the boys father has been up to. And as a mother she does have a right to know if you find it hard to speak to her face to face. Post her a letter start by apologising to her for you having to tell her this in a letter and tell her that you could tell her this to her face because you dont want to loose her as a friend and yet you are worried for her boys well being. tell her that you have are having problems sleeping with this on your mind.

Answer 7

Too big a question for Yahoo Answers.....yes there is something that should be done for the long term good of the children, in England we would say "You need to nip it in the bud"

But most importantly, it is not for you to do, You have got to get in contact with the relevant social services network in your country...

There are so many things that need to be considered for the child safety and future well being as well as ensuring that the Father is assessed and dealt with appopiately...

It is their responsibility not yours!

Answer 8

That is considered sexual abuse.

What you could do is anonymously call Child Protection Services and explain the situation. They are required to "look into" the situation. Hopefully things improve from there.

Answer 9

I do believe it is sexual abuse. Tell his mom and let his mom handle it. Dont get to involved, just make sure that his mom knows and then leave it at that. After that its up to her because its her child.

I am not trying to sound at all cold hearted or anything, its just that it is the best thing to do. That and you dont want to get yourself involved to much into those kinds of things. Trust me.

Hope everything turns out well.

Good luck.

Answer 10

definitely not sexual abuse. its the same as ppl masturbating.

maybe shud have told the mother or watch what the mother does.. maybe the mother is at fault too. u wudnt want to anger her till u cant even visit the son.. shud b 9 by now rite?
he shud b conselled or smth. in case he grew up to b a molester or wad.... ya noe wad i mean i tink...