I need help!!with my mom .please help me?

Question

Everysince i was a little girl my mom had me on lock down. i really couldnt go nowhere..i couldnt have hang so thats why i didnt have friends.. only friends in school... and when they would go out i couldnt even go with them... i would always have a excuse
but i never rebel thats a good thing.
they only way i would go anywhere is if i would go somewhere with my church, like i was involve in my church with the youth
its like my mom never had a open relationship with me. she never talk to me about sex, or anything..its like crazy... and like now since im older, she dont like the things i do. and if i dont do soemthing she dont like she get an attitude and start saying stuff like i think im too grown.. its so hard. Im 19 years old and i came home from school for the summer u dont understand hwo many times we got into it. its like things gotta go her way cause if it dont she gone me mad and a problem. i feel i shoudnt even came home i should have stayed in school. i really dont know

Answer 1

Get through school, and get your own life. Moms will be moms. She loves you in spite of her actions. Don't worry so much=0)

Answer 2

Have you ever sat down with your mom and told her your real feelings in a calm way? If not you might want to consider being really honest with her about how you feel about this, but do it when you are both calm and not when you are having an disagreement since it will not have the impact that you want if you try to address this when you are arguing with each other.

If you have tried to talk with her about this and it is still a problem then you may have to agree to disagree and explain to her that you are an adult and that you are capable of making your own choices about things and that if she wants to continue a relationship with you that she will need to adjust to that or that you feel that you will need to separate yourself from her a little bit.

Whatever your approach my advice would to be as honest as possible and to be as calm and collected as you can be when you decide to deal with this. Yelling and bickering does not get you anywhere and will only aggravate the situation further.

Answer 3

You have hang on for so long trying to do what your mother has always wanted you to do, I think now you are an adult, just complete your school and you will soon be independent, your mum can not hold on to you for the rest of your life, there will come a time when she will have to let go of you e.g when you get married and have a family of your own.

For some parents being protective of their children is a way that they show love for their children it is really hard for them to accept that their little girl is now an adult.

Just be patient all this protectiveness will come to pass.

Answer 4

Since your a church girl you're used to depending upon authority, and that means your mom is going to continue to step all over you, because you don't stand up for yourself, but that's what you need to do, tell her how you feel and mention youre an adult, and express how she's ruined your social life up until you were old enough to do what you'd like to do, also complain that she never taught you about sex or gave you any other important life information... your confusion of not knowing about whether or not you should've came home, is normal when your torn between obedience and rebellious behavior, because you want to be dependant and treated as an adult, and that's what you need to let your mom know immediatly.

Answer 5

At the age of 19 you don't have to listen to your mom. You are an adult. If she is such a problem might I suggest you find another place to live. Maybe a little separation is what she needs to learn to respect you.

Don't be to hard on her, she did what she did because she loves you. She just wanted you to be safe, so she sheltered you from the world. It is a common problem, but the best thing for you is to go out into the world and be your own person.

Good Luck

Answer 6

You're 19 years old and an adult. You have a right to make your own decisions. Her keeping you under wraps like that at your age is akin to kidnapping or being held against your will. However, it is still your mother here and you have to have some level of respect for her wishes. It's a hard situation.
I would say your best bet is to look in your phone book and find a welfare agency or child protection agency and call them about it.

I wish you all the best! Good luck!

Answer 7

She is your mother, wants to raise you a certain way and had to give up on that because of your/her situation with your father. She wants to be an influence on you and obviously does not know how to communicate with you. An idea: ask for friends to come over and hang out, but invite your Mom to join in.(Movie, hair, makeup, cooking, music and talk) She will get to know you and your friends and see that you are into the same things your friends are. She will see the age gap and eventually accept the two of you are not two peas in a pod. But you have to invite and be polite, treat her with respect and I hope she will return the favor. Treat her as if she were the principal of your school if you have to. And things should lighten up for you babe. Good luck. She just wants to be there in your life trust me on this. give it a try.

Answer 8

Your mom is simply doing the only thing she knows in trying in her own way to do what she thinks she needs to to protect you from what she sees as a dangerous and unpredictable world

You on the other hand--have grown up in the meantime and have began to assert yourself into the world that you see as being full of opportunities and possibilities---It is no wonder that the two of you are into the clashes

Just be understanding as you can be--that your mom loves you in her own way and somehow believes that she is doing a good thing at trying to get you to see the errors in your thinking and the way in which you are choosing to see the world and what you want and how you want to proceed

Answer 9

Maybe your mother is very furious with the LIFE, and don't know how to deal with some issues. That happened, Is hard when you can't have an open relationship with your parent because she can't open her heart. If you want some advice. Go kiss her and tell her You love her! if she ask you why? or anything just tell her because you are very lucky to have her as your mother. you will see a change at least until she realize whats happening with herself.

Answer 10

sorry to hear that girl ....like u there's thousand girls and its depressive....and at this point i can't tell u that ur mom will change her attitude cuz u allowed her to do that with u since u were a kid .....that doesn't mean u gotta be a rebel girl or scream at her or come late just try to show her somehow that u already grew up and there'z certain paterns she can't get involve with like ur privacy....don't disrepect her but start to showin her that u need some privacy ...try to get a boyfriend from ur church or some1 from the school that is really close to u and start introducing him to ur house of course u gotta tell him the risk he is taking ....hehe there's a start for everything ....ur mom can't change but she is smart and will get the idea

Answer 11

Yeah, you probably shouldn't have come home. However, since you are home try this. When you and your mom start arguing, stop and say "well, mom, I don't agree with you, but you may well be right." This puts a stop to it because even though you are not saying she is right, you are letting her know that you are hearing what she has to say.
Also, you mentioned church. Maybe you could talk to someone you respect at church and ask them to talk to your mom.