bras for my 13 yo Am I overprotective?

Question

My 13 yo daughter is a C cup. I worry about her breasts health and guys staring at her boobs, so got her bras with full coverage and support. She doesnt like them but though I'm a soft and understanding mom on this point I used my authority. Out of her bra types one gives the most support and has to be worn at least 4 days a week and she can't spend 2 consecutive days without wearing it. The other days she can pick one of the other types,which also give full coverage and good support. She hates this bra rule. One reason is it makes her wear the bra with most support at least 1 day on weekends preventing her from wearing shirts w/ thin straps. This bra is at http://www.anita.com/de/en/0,1,0,0,39236__products-detail.htm?brand=147&ovs_ber_wgr=104&ovs_ber_fgr=1478&ovs_ber_cup=C It has 4 hooks in the back She says its not the bra for a 13 yo but I dont agree, it's really good. All I want is her best. She complains but obeys (very unwillingly its true), shes a sweetie. Am I overprotective?

Answer 1

You should teach her to be responsible for herself and to think for herself. Teach her to be smart, and suspicious of peoples true intentions. Teach her the difference between positive attention, and negative attention. This will keep her out of more trouble than imposing ridiculous and embarrassing bra rules. She will think you are stupid, unreasonable, and unfair and loose trust for your judgment, and turn to her friends for advice. Your lying to yourself if you think "support" is why she should wear that god awful thing. Poor girl, being a teen is awkward enough. If your afraid of her having sex, attracting perverts etc. then you need to educate her about perverts, negative attention, horny boys, boys lies, STD's, emotional consequences, pregnancy, etc. That way she will do whats right when your not around, otherwise she will have no respect for you and do whats wrong first chance she gets, if not now then in college. You asked the question, now its time to ACCEPT the answer. Give her a chance to be good on her own, let her know that you are putting your trust in her and that if she blows it, its her fault. Bottom line, give her a break!

Answer 2

Although she does need a bra with good support, like you said she's 13! Boys are gonna stare no matter what bra she is wearing, I can guarantee that one. I do agree that 13 yr old girls should have some discipline where their clothing is concerned, but a 4 hook bra. That may be over the top. She may agree with you now, but I can tell you from experience she will rebel at some point and odds are its gonna be big. I guess I just don't see what the big deal is about wearing thin straped shirts? I dont' think she should be showing cleavage, but does a shoulder really hurt? But its your call, not my kid, just an opinion. Good luck

Answer 3

I don't blame you for being a bit worried. Yes she will gets lots of attention from guys, and there are a few health concerns, but maybe you are being a bit over protective with the bra rules. But since she is young, and not mature yet, having rules and boundaries are good. But you should think of relaxing them as she gets into high school and gets older otherwise she might rebel and become a wild child. Just don't throw away all the rules at once, just ease up on them gradually. And in a few years lots of other girls will have similar size breasts and it won't be such an issue; I'm guessing mostly its a huge issue because she is so young.

Answer 4

I think you should find a bra that provides support without being quite so uncomfortable to wear but that at the same time is not overly revealing. It is understandable for you to be protective - she IS your daughter. Its also great that she is working with you on this. Perhaps the two of you could go shopping together to find a bra that both she and you are comfortable with? The bond and friendship that you have with her as a parent is special, and you want to maintain her trust. Take action to show her that you trust her as well. As her body is growing up quickly, be sure that you are having conversations about decisions about having or not having sex, birth control, etc. as well as discussing issues such as smoking, drinking, and drugs. The bra you put the link to looks awefully uncomfortable...

Answer 5

I think that you should let your daughter have free reign on what bra she considers is best for her at this time of her life. As she gets older, she will be more driven by comfort and practicality, and will choose the bra that supports her best. Let her be a teenager and experiment though - she will reach the right conclusion in the end

Answer 6

A bra is not going to prevent boys from noticing her breasts. That bra looks very uncomfortable. You have to keep in mind that she may have to undress for gym or sports and other children can be very cruel. Maybe a sports bra will serve the purpose you want and be more comfortable for her.

Answer 7

If you are buying the bras then I think you should have a say in picking them. I however would restrict the revealing nature of the clothing she wears but not neccessarily the undergarments she chooses. As far as the support needed I wouldn't worry about it too much as long as she's comfortable. you may be too controling.

Answer 8

Just try to put yourself in her shoes and remember what it was like for you at her age whether you had the same chest size or not. Try to let her enjoy herself, its tough slowly loosening the reigns.

You know what it is like to be ridiculed for being different and not being "in style" so to speak and girls have it a lot tougher than guys. I would say this, loosen the rules a bit, until she gives you reason to tighten them back up.

Answer 9

Maybe. I know you want the best for her, but if you're this concerned over her bras, it's could be making her very self conscious and maybe even ashamed of her breasts.

Answer 10

I would be mortified at 13 if I had to wear that kind of bra.