How does one mature?

Question

My mom keeps tellings me that she can tell by my actions that I am not mature. I'm in college and I have seen more than she has in a more concentrated time. I grew up during the 90s until now and she grew up in the 60s and 70s. I just don't understand her definition of maturity. Will Smith was right, "Parents just don't understand."

Oh yeah, and I do not think my mom is stupid.

Answer 1

YOU'RE RIGHT. MATURITY depends on who is saying it. So, I guess, it would be better if you will have a nice heart to heart talk with your Mom and nail down a definition of maturity that both of you can agree with and then restart your relationship from there.

You will be surprised to find out that she is not mature in some areas.

Answer 2

I think a big part of maturity is putting yourself aside to either do the right thing, or do something that benefits someone else. Selfishness is a big character trait of immaturity. For instance (speaking from experience in the 80s and 90s):

Not buying gifts for people on their birthdays/anniversaries/Christmas, because you "don't have enough money", when you know you could have used some self-discipline and saved up to buy them a little something.

Not visiting friends and relatives because you're "too busy", when in fact, you know you could make time for them if you put forth an extra ounce of effort.

Making Cs in school, citing that the classes are "too hard", when you devote more time to partying than studying.

These are just some examples I used because I used every one of those excuses and a couple hundred more when I was in my teens/early 20s. Being "an adult" or "responsible" or "mature" means doing the things you don't want to do, because you know they're the right things to do. It takes some people longer than others, and some people never mature. They can't get past themselves enough to do anything for anybody else. I hope you mature soon. And by the way, even if you mom hasn't done everything you've done, she still knows what's out there. The fact that you think she's stupid is.................immature.

Answer 3

It could be your actions, behaviour, thinking, personality, character, attitude etc. that is suggesting to her you're immature.

Seeing more doesn't necessarily means more matured. If you can, show her that you're mature & responsible enough to handle your own stuff through your speech & actions.

Remember no matter what you do, you're still a child to her. Parents understand their children but at a totally different level. Parents, being protective by nature, want to protect them from harm & shield them from danger. Children should try understanding their parents as well. With understanding comes better communication & less misunderstanding.

Answer 4

One matures with age, and life experiences. A college student in their late teens or early 20's have not achieved that yet. I would not say that you are immature, but lack understanding in some areas which your mother is trying to express to you.

Will Smith is a parent himself, and probably has changed his mind about parents not understanding.

Answer 5

If your actions are wild,stupid,or not well thought out,this maybe why she feels this way.Deep down your mother just wants the best for you,maybe she doesn't want you to make the same mistakes she made.You need to talk with your mother and find out what she thinks is or isn't mature,maybe then you'll understand why she feels the way she does.Good luck.

Answer 6

Maturity is best defined by your experiences and knowledge gained through living the experience. Responsiblity is a big part of being mature. The way in which you deal with conflict or other parts of life can indicate the level you are at. Just live your life and be as responsible of a person that you can be and it just happens.

Answer 7

Maturity is independent of age. You seem to have too little experience to understand the intimate details of life. I didn't want to believe it when I was your age either, but time picked me up, slapped me around a bit and said "Bee-yatch, you don't know nothin'. Stop playin' like you do." And I said "step back, time, don't 'dis me like that."

And time replied "Oh, no, you didn't just say that!" And I looked at time square in the eye and said "******, I know everything about everything, and I'm getting real tired of your 'tude.

And time got kind of a sneer on her face, and rolled her tounge in a kind of impolite way. She started to flap her arms in a mocking way, and stuck that same tounge out at me.

And I looked at her and said "Tres mature," and waited for the intelligence to just drain out of her eyes as my French comment smacked her in the forehead.

At that point Time smirked a bit, though, and winked at me, I think. And then I realized that time was totally one-upping me, and rightfully so.

Time doesn't care about your age or opinions. Time only cares about how you deal with things. Whether your parents understand that - or whether you can deal with that - is beside the point.

Answer 8

ah, maturity. I define it as learning from past experiences.
if you keep doing the same thing over and over again your really not learning from it and most likely not maturing from the experience.
and parents will always say your immature if they are serious and you are of a more playful nature.
but remember to be mature you really must be more open to ideas and not so childinsh. so don't act like a highschool kid when they talk to you actually listen then evaluate what they say.

Answer 9

Look at your actions what if your daughter did the same things that you are are doing. you don't say much about your actions is she paying for college or part just because you go to college doesn't mean you're mature are you street smart or book smart?

Answer 10

Allie is right. This is what I call "a theory of relativity of maturity " To your parent you are always immature 'cause you must be younger than your parent by definition . Do not get frustrated by your mammy's " you are not mature " remark. Thank god that you have a nice father & mother to care about you . To meddle with your business is one of their responsibilties.