My 15 year old son smoked a joint?

Question

15, soccer since he was 6, straight a' and a few b's. I knew he would try it, but now what is my job to make sure he doesnt have another brain fart and ruin his chances of well......life....
I would love to hear from 17 and under on this one. Hurry before i just beat the daylights out of him

ok, am adding details to question of 15 yo smoked joint, plays soccer year round since 6, nice friends (he's my only one, i watch him like a hawk but cant smother him or will blow up in my face) Everyone normally tries something stupid. Here is what i did. Told him i was dissapointed, also that i expect him to make wrong decisions (i do) and to talk to me before he makes a choice that will affect his life like this. Put on restriction with no PC, no phone, no leaving property. MYSPACE.COM is how i found some info to ask ONCE MORE if he has smoked pot.

oh yeah, he asked me last year if i ever smoked pot. I was honest, i said 'Yes i have but it was a complete waste of time and i dont think it's something you want to take a chance on because there are some serious consequences

by the way, as much as he disappointed me, he made me as proud by the way he was honest and stood like a man and took what he knew (or thought)would be coming.and no, i didnt scream but we did cry together

I couldnt lie when he asked. Not my nature. Some things you keep from your kids, but not when it directly effects them

Looking over the answers I see that these kids have a good head on their shoulders,. KUDOS teens!! Thanks so much for your help, still listening though.

Answer 1

Well I am 19 not 17 but I was a pothead all through high school and think I can help you. First if you make a HUGE deal about it, it's not going to help him or your case @ all (grounding him is probably going to prove pointless). All that will do is cause him to want to rebel against you further. What you have to do is ACTUALLY talk to him. not the half *** talking parents do now a days but since you did smoke pot yourself at one point maybe you could try to start it off with common ground. Dont say yah i did it and it was pointless blah blah blah. Cuz you know thats a lie. You were probably sitting under a tree somewhere smoking a joint on more than one occasion. Just because you caught him this time, doesn't mean that it was the first time he got stoned. In fact it was probably way more than once. Ask him questions about the situaltion he was in. Ask him if he liked it, what he did when he was stoned, ask him if he got the munchies. ASK QUESTIONS. and dont be all fatherly about it. Than you have to talk to him about what led him to smoking pot in the first place. Was it friends? Was it stress from school, stress from the soccer. Ask him what you can do to help him out of the situation. If he feels he has a friend in you he is more likely to confide in you. if he feels he is just going to get into trouble he is just going to continue to hide what he is doing..

Answer 2

He is going to do what he wants. If you tell him no he might even do it more. Just make sure he knows what he is getting himself into. He could be in for a hard life. Smoking pot could lead to a much effected drug like crank or something along those lines. I was a straight A student at 13 when I started, and now I'm a 23 year old mom. All because I made the wrong decisions and refused to listen to my mom. I finally got my life straight and I am on my way to getting my GED and going to college. He may think yeah right. It could happen, and I think you did the right thing by being honest with him. If you would've lied and he found out. Well, lets just say I don't think it would be a pretty situation.

Answer 3

I am 15 and have done it a few times. Look most teens are going to do it and most will stop by 18. Just make sure he isn't drinking or taking pills. Drinking is far worst than weed. Weed is not physically addictive, alcohol is. He will probably smoke a few more joints before he is 18, but it isnt going to kill him. Just ground him for a week or two and tell him that you dont want him doing it while hes under your roof. And it will not ruin his chances of life, many adults who make plenty of money smoke weed. How did you find out he smoked a joint? If you EVER catch him with alcohol ground him for a month or even give him a few good wacks. Alcohol kills and destroys familys.

Answer 4

Okay, don't beat him, it won't help. I remember being in this situation with my mom when I lived at home. She handled it by confisation of the stuff and telling me she was dissapointed and then never bringing it up again. How I wished she would have handled it is, I wish she would have taken me to the library and helped me find real info on the substance. If she had done this I could have made my own choices regarding wether to do it again or not. Without any info I assumed it must not be so bad and got into some trouble when I got older. I wish i would have know then what i know now. Do your son a favor and help him find the truth about it. Tell him, no it won't kill you, but it will make you stupid and slow, and make getting ahead in life more challenging than it already is. Let him know that he is not bad for trying it. let him know that he doesn't want to wake up one day, in his twenties and realize he dosn't like any of his friends b/c they are mostly losers. Godd luck!

Answer 5

I'm 14, and a couple of guys in my grade smoke pot. He sounds like he's a pretty good guy, but even good guys want to rebel now and again, or maybe he was being pressured by his mates and didn't want to appear soft. Don't kick his ***, but just make sure he won't do it again, because one of my guy mates is 13 (turns 14 in September) smokes pot and has sex with girls. He's an awesome friend and literally anything he says is funny, but he smokes pot because apparently it is "fun" and makes him look cool. It's just being immature.... punish him, get the message through his head, and if he respects himself enough to say no, or to not ask for a joint, or accept one, then you have nothing to worry about. There's a first time for everything - obviously not every guy has to smoke dope - but what's done is done. Ground him, and if he doesn't take you seriously, then punish him further. That's the best advice I can give... hope it helps...

Answer 6

The way I see it he was just experimenting and, well, he was honest about it!! I`m thinking you have a great kid!!! And you must be a great parent (after all good parents make good kids).
I think you handled it quite well. You spoke to him, told him you were disappointed (which is a good way to go about it cause 15 yo take that seriously) and grounded him. I don`t think you should beat him or anything. My best guess is he was just trying it out. A book about drugs would be a good present.
Don`t worry too much... He`s going to do a lot you wouldn`t approve - he`s just trying to find his way.
Good luck and congratulations for being such an open parent...

Answer 7

OK I'm 18 I've smoked pot a good hand full of tI'mes my mom knows and understands that im going to experiment... she did everyone does its normal. My mom asked if i ever had and i told her the truth because of the fact that she's told me plenty of stories about her's and my dad's past with weed. I think its great that you told your son and didn't lie about the fact that you've done it. Yeah sometimes when im with my friends and we're about to smoke the thought of "well she's done it ALOT more than me so she cant get mad and throw me out" as run across my mind. Just tell your son that its not something your gonna let slide and yes you understand he's gonna mess up but is it REALLY worth it. He's only 15 he has too much ahead of him.

Answer 8

OK, I am not a teen, sorry. But it sounds like you are doing what you feel is right for both of you. it is nice that you have that open and honest relationship. what is going to happen the first time he gets drunk at a party? sound like he would call you instead of being stupid and trying to get home with a drunk friend. this is where it starts. you are up front with him and I am sure he appreciates that. I would have probably done that whole restriction thing also. keep up the good work. I have a preteen and am not sure how I will handle it, but I hope as good as you did. thanks for being an example.
blessed be.

Answer 9

Hey mom, im 19 and in my sophomore year in college. Well to tell you the truth, theres not much you can do to change his behavior directly. At this stage, he is 100% influenced by his group of close friends. So obviously, they smoke pot and he will too. Move him to another school or district without involvement with his old friends and hopefully he will have a group of new friends that are productive people. This is the best you can do because you will be wasting your time and sanity to change him because you cant and accept that. Change his friends, good luck mom!

Answer 10

18 here and it may just be a phase, dont jump too far to conclusions and assume that he's ruining his life. although pot is not a really smart or legal choice it doesnt have to mean things WILL go down hill. for example my 17 year old cousin has smoked pot everyday for the past year, and remains a straight a student with an impressive list of extra curricular activities and otherwise looks like a saint. make sure you dont ream your son out too much for this one or you might push him further into it. but chances are if he was the one who straight up told you that he smoked a joint, cut him some slack for his honesty in such a matter, that shows a hell of a lot of maturity for a 15 year old, so make sure you dont discourage his honesty by screaming at him. and although it might suck for a little while you also have to realize that he has to figure out for himself whether or not pot is destructive to him, it was for me and i got out of it, but you have to be understanding that part of growing up and being a teenager is making your own decisons, screwing up someitmes and then finally learning from it.