ok well this is my story, i went out with this guy and i caught him cheating on me. he totally betrayed my trust. and all my friends keep telling me to forget but don't forgive. the thing is that none of my friends know that sometimes at night i can't sleep cause i keep thinking of all the good times me and him had. and to top it all off, about a day after we broke up, his friend called me and told me to call him cause something was wrong and i ended up going to his house and talking him out of taking his life. i called him about 2 months ago and hinted that i still had feelings for him. but he said that he had a girl friend but he plain out said that he still had strong feelings for me. i still love him but i haven't talked to him for 2 or 3 months, what should i do????
2006-07-31 19:06:36 · 12 answers · asked by amber 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
get some guts and call him again and tell him straight up how you feel. tell him that you can't sleep at night because you can't stop thinking about him. tell him all that comes to your mind. who knows that gf of his might be history by now. and you might be the one hes trying to get to notice him again
2006-07-31 19:08:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
One thing you need to know is that you propably don't "love" him.
I'm sure you are "attracted" to him. Since you have had sex with him you might feel as if you are "in love" with him. Sexual attraction plus sex with a person causes chemical and psychological things to happen to a person so that they want to be with the person all the time, miss them when you're not with them, and go through what you are going through, when you break up. Neither of these 2 feelings are love. The reason I say this is that if you tell your self that you "love" him, you make yourself feel worse and that it affects your decisions.
You can't love a person that you don't respect and admire. From what you describe he has no respect for you and I suspect that his being "suicidal" was contrived to manipulate you to stay with him so that he can have sex with you when he's not having sex with someone else.
I used to work as a Registered Nurse on a psychiatric unit for 22 years. If your x b/f was feeling suicidal, he might have called his friend, but why would his friend call you? If he was concerned, he should have called 911. In any case, I have seen many times where an x b/f or g/f used talk of suicide to try and manipulate their X. Also, If he is Depressed and suicidal, he needs professional help, you can't fix him.
I think that you need to be firm with this guy, don't call him, and don't take his calls. These feelings that you have will go away in time. I'm 63 years old and have experienced what you are going through several times. All of your thoughts and feelings are normal for the situation that you are in.
Your friends are right when they say to forget but not forgive, in that, you need to forget about him as a possible b/f but not to forgive him by going back with him. You don't want to hang on to feelings of hate or anger toward him, because that will slow you down to moving on to someone else.
All of your disturbing feelings will go away in time, especially when you find a b/f who you admire and respect and who admires and respects you. A guy that is mentally and financially stable and that you have the potential to have a happy future with.
God bless you.
2006-08-01 02:57:07 · answer #2 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to forget about it. obviously he can't ahve too strong of feelings or else he wouldn't have a girlfriend. And if anyone is going to threaten taking their life just because you broke up with him is just crazy. You need someone who can be strong, with or wihtout you. That way that person is their own person and doesn't need to lean on you for support and reassurance in their life. They are less likely to cheat because they don't need that sort of reassurance either. I would say let him go and concentrate on being a better person and someone better will come along.
2006-08-01 02:14:23 · answer #3 · answered by hotchic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U told him that u have feelings for him. I'd call him back one more time and let him know again if its bugging u that much. After that its his move to get back with u or not. if he doesnt u have to move on and try to forget... it'll be hard but at the same time as much as u like him, don't let him make u a fool. Good luck.
2006-08-01 02:15:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about him and move on. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
2006-08-01 02:11:34 · answer #5 · answered by Alex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SOUNDS LIKE HE KNOWS HOW U FEEL .......AND...... WANTS TO KEEP LEADING YOU ON...GIVE HIM UP GF
THERE R A LOT OF OTHERS OUT THERE THAT WILL TREAT U RIGHT...
2006-08-01 02:15:16 · answer #6 · answered by meemeemee40 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you take him back, he's going to think you're a doormat and do it again.
2006-08-01 02:11:51 · answer #7 · answered by Jake 'N' Shakes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, you did say he had a girlfriend...may you should leave him alone and find someone else.
2006-08-01 02:12:00 · answer #8 · answered by Qui 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop waiting for him and call him your self
2006-08-01 02:13:59 · answer #9 · answered by terry c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get another guy....if he really loved you than he would have told u.
2006-08-01 02:12:07 · answer #10 · answered by waz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋