Why do people sexually abused react differently?

Question

My niece and I were sexually abuse by basically the same people. She is mentally stable and happy whereas I am not (unless on meds). She asked me why?

Answer 1

As Richie said, it's not uncommon for two people to respond differently to the same experience, simply because of differences in their inborn genetic makeup. To be truthful, some people are, by nature, simply more "reactive" to things. Reactive meaning....they are more sensitive to events and feelings than others might be. And that's just how it is.

Abuse can be a truely damaging experience, so I hope you will not allow yourself to feel ashamed that it has effected you in the ways that it has. In fact, as Richie implied, it may be that your reaction, in some ways, turns out to be more healthy than your sisters.

Then again, she could be one of those few lucky persons who, as a result of *their* genetics, is authentically able to shrug off such traumas.

But most people are not so lucky.

Simply by taking the risk to post about this, it's pretty clear that you are past the point where you are denying that anything harmful may have happened, and are ready to face things in a mindfull search for the relief and resolution all abused people deserve.

And that's a really big step in itself.

Keep the faith, OK ??

You are who you are, and its' not worth negitively comparing yourself to others, when it comes to how you react to things.

Bob

Answer 2

You obviously were affected by it emotionally different. I was sexually abused my self as a child. And I had it happen to me after that again and again from different people because they could see the weakness in my eyes. I can only tell you one thing, I am medicated most of the time because of the past, but that isn't a bad thing... You should check out some of the answers I have recieved myself. It might not be the same subject but my problem started here and on what you are talking about. Some people might say bad things or un realistic crap when they don't know what they are talking about, But trust me there is always somebody that knows what you have gone through and can help you in your search for happiness.. So please keep your head up and stay strong. Never show fear and know, No matter where you are there are people out there that love you and will do anything for you! Stay safe and strong!

Answer 3

This is really a much broader question then it appears to be; it's the same situation as when you have two people from the same family and one can end up being a janitor and the other a doctor. You might want to read a hard-core phsycology book like "the myth of phsycotherapy" by Thomas Szaz but basically it comes down to a personas willingness to deal with their pain. I'm in no way saying that it's easy to deal with certain traumas but ultimatley the only way to get past it is to deal with it. Med's tend to be an attempt to get around it.
However; there is also the possiblity that your neice isnt really happy.
If you let the trauma control you then the abusers win. I hope you can beat it.

Answer 4

The Human Brain is very complex. No scientists even fully understand it, & everyone's reactions are a little different. Basically the brain is the same but there are subtle differences in everyone. That's why different meds have different effects on different people. There isn't 1 blood test or 1 MRI that can tell you what meds to take. I've been through about 30 different meds & combinations of them. Aids has a meds "cocktail" but mental illness doesn't have a test to tell you what to take,YET. Hopefully soon. Some people compartmentalize differently. I can't remember my motorcycle or bicycle accidents. My brain is protecting me from the trauma.I have no problems w/ it, but I almost died in both accidents.

Answer 5

Interesting question. Some people who are sexually abused become very phobic about sexuality and hate to be touched whereas others become very sexually promiscous. It could be that your niece is utilizing psychological defense mechanisms whereas you are expressing a desire to confront the painful feelings from those experiences. Either way it has to be dealt with and almost everyone needs help and support.

Answer 6

Genetics and perhaps environment. Perhaps therapy. You are not the same people with the exact same genetics who had the exact same upbringing and the exact same life experiences. She may not have abuse you have had.
It is okay if you need meds. You need what you need and she may not be coping as well as she thinks she is. You do what you need to do. Take your medication and see therapy. I am glad you have found help.
It is wrong for someone to compare and ask such a question. That is mean and unkind. She may just be smashing things down. I was too abused and have been though stuff. My aunt chooses to forget everything, but she also forgets important things. It is a toss up.
You just do your best and forget about justifying yourself. Just be glad you are dealing with your problems. I am sorry this happened to you and that anyone has to have a superiority complex on you. Just get help and realize things may not be how they seem. Your niece may have problems she just may be blocking them and they may come out later.
Do not worry about her worry about yourself. Just tell her that all people are unique and react differently. It is just the human response and for her to worry about herself and you will be responsible for yourself. Do not diguss this with her. Disguss your issues with your health care practioners. I am glad you found something to help and keep working on your issues as you need to.
You are fine and have a natural reaction to your abuse. Dealing with things as you need to as they come up will help with you healing process. Take care.

Answer 7

It probably didn't mess with her mentally as much as it did u. People have differnet minds so that's why they act totally different. R u seeing a psychiatrist? If not, y don't u try going to 1. That's what they're there 4: to help ppl out in situations such as these.

Answer 8

Because of the way a person is brought up in learning how to cope with such things, their environment around them, and their support system, a lot of different things can contribute to people acting or reacting to a given instance.
You can have 2 people looking at a bunch of trees and one person with say it's a bunch of trees and another will say it's a forest.
People are different.

Answer 9

oh honey she is definuitly not happy or stable...she is just having relay hard work to cover it. she tries very hard to make everybody thing she is strong and happy.she moved on and itc. but the fact is that sexually abused people have traumas who are following their entire life.
it is a simple memory you cant forrget and so...let her ask you wathever she wants. you will be like her with time. and you wont pretend!! trust me on this!!

Answer 10

Were you abused at the same time? If so that is hot!