A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and as
He is stumbling back and forth, a cop on the beat sees him and
Approaches
"Can I help you sir?", the officer asks politely.
Yessh! Ossifer, sssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies.
The cop asks, "Well, where was your car the last time you
Saw it?"
It wasss... On the end of thisshh key" the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's "manhood"
Is hanging out of his fly for all the world to see.
He asks the man,
Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch
And without missing a beat, blurts out.........
Oh my God ----- My girlfriend's gone, too!
2006-07-31 16:30:57 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
thats decent.. try this tho:
new guy strolls into town and sees this sign outside the bar. "FREE BEER FOR WHOEVER COMPLETES THE TEST".. so the man walks in and asks the bartender wut the test is.. so the bartender goes.. "FIRST: you have to chug this gallon of pepper taquilla without making a face.. SECOND: there's an alligator outback that has a sore tooth, pull it out... THIRD: there's a woman upstairs that hasn't been pleasured for a long time, fix her up.." so the guy hears all this and says theres no way he's doin all that for free beer.. so some time passes and the guy has a few drinks.. eventually he asks the bartender, "wherrss zat taqullla?".. so he chugs it back without makin a face and stumbles out the back.. a few minutes later he comes back in with his shirt torn off and scratches all over his back and says.."now, wheresss zat woman with the soree tooth?"
lol..
2006-07-31 16:50:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
M&M's
An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts.
One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime.
"Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."
2006-08-01 00:59:40 · answer #2 · answered by A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats hilarious!!!!! I've got one!
A drunk was looking for his car by feeling the tops of the cars. A young man was walking by, he asked the drunk "What are you doing?" Thedrunk replies I'm looking for my car..... The man asked what does your car look like from the top?.... The drunk said it had red & blue lights on top of it.
2006-07-31 23:51:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can once a long time ago I got pulled over and stuck a beer label on my forhead and said I was on the patch and also stated that "i swear occifer there is no blood in my alcohol stream." I really did say this and I got out of a ticket........yea me.
2006-07-31 23:41:29 · answer #4 · answered by dogsrwork 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one!
What do you call attorneys parachuting?
Skeet!!!
2006-07-31 23:38:11 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haahahhaha
2006-08-01 00:31:24 · answer #6 · answered by LiTlE mIsSy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
me and my husband lol
2006-08-01 00:07:39 · answer #7 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
check some of my question...
2006-07-31 23:37:26 · answer #8 · answered by Cool Z 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats halarious!!!
2006-07-31 23:49:08 · answer #9 · answered by ♥♪♫[K]ath² [BUTT '14 ツ]♫♪♥™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's funny.
2006-07-31 23:47:45 · answer #10 · answered by sabprice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋