Do adults forget that they were once kids too?

Question

Being a mom of two pre-teen girls I find it very helpful to remember how I was as a girl and use that to my advantage in parenting. I use stories from my life to relate and reason with them. I find it surprising how many moms from my generation seem like a blast to the past of the 1950's. That kind of parenting didn't work on us when we were kids, so why? (I suppose I may not be so popular after this question, but inquiring minds want to know!)

Answer 1

Horrible.

By sharing some things (like "yeah, I smoked pot when I was 16, and don't now") is like giving your child your endorsement.

Don't you see that by sharing this information, your child will think "hey, my mom did that, so can I!"

1950's parenting was great. It was just the idiot baby boomers that whined about life being so hard that has caused the screw ups in society today.

Forget your free love and Woodstock and Dr. Spock and get back to your basics.

Kids are results and consequence driven. Simple answers are all that's needed.

Now people treat them like "little adults" and then wonder why they are out there screwing around, drinking, and drugging at younger ages than when YOU were doing it.

**SIGHS**

Answer 2

I have two girls myself. I know the answer exactly. It's not because they forget that they use to be in the exact same pool of confusion, puberty, pressure, and darkness that we too, especially as girls, use to be.

It's because they REMEMBER what is was like and these are their baby girls. Not young women who will one day soon be making their own decisions. How dare she grow up, leave the house, debate having sex for the first time, pass or puff on a joint passed around at an "inncocent" little house party, well, it wasn't a party mom, it was a couple friends and i said no....PLEASE, lol!

Conversation and open dialogue always makes for a better subject, don't you agree. If you want to make the AIDS point, take them to an AIDS hospice, let them SEE what you mean about using a condomn. - Face it, you can't stop them no matter how much you try, so at least keep them informed. Nothing is worse than supressing knowledge, chosing ignorance as a shield to what scares you.

And i am SURE i pissed off a bunch of folks. That's what Diva's do....tell it like it is

Diva

Answer 3

I take some things from my girlhood when raising my three girls, but I'm not a kid anymore and I'm not here to be there best friends or the coolest mom on the block. I'm here to raise them to become responsible adults themselves, so they can succeed in this world. I have to take into consideration that they are also three very different children, they are not me and I am not them. When it comes to things they may feel I can relate at times...and hopefully my experience will come in handy when they get into the preteen and teen years, but overall I am their mom right now...and will become more of a friend later on...when they are out on their own and I know that I've done my job raising them.

Answer 4

I am a 24yr old with three kids my own. kinda stuck between being a kid, and a parent. But I agree with you. Most kids learn from experience, but alot will learn from their parents what is right and wrong. If you give them concrete evidence about your life, they might just listen and learn. Mind you, some just don't want to listen and will do their own thing anyway.
I think all parents should remember how tough it was being a teen, and how your life is the only important thing to you, and your friendships and activities. Teens have the world evolve around them, we as parents just need to be there to support them and teach them how to pick it up if it all comes crashing down.

Answer 5

I suppose I did at times, when my girls royally p*ssed me off. I guess all parents at some time forget that they were kids too and expect their teens/pre-teens to be mini-adults. I used to try to remind myself that even when the kids made mistakes that those were times they were growing and learning. I enjoyed raising 4 daughters, but I am glad they're all grown up now lol.

Answer 6

I dont usually tell my girls about my life stuff unless it is the cute stuff, but I always keep in mind when I am parenting them where I was, what I did, how I acted, and what happened to me. Usually, I try to forget I was a kid. There was some BAD stuff in my life then. I just try to be a better mother than what I knew.

Answer 7

I completely agree with your parenting style and I use it on my son all the time ... and it seems to work most of the time. In fact, he constantly asks me what shows/games/books etc. I enjoyed as a kid, and he's really into those, too. It's alot of fun being able to remember what life was like as a kid - and being able to pass it along to your kids!

Answer 8

i agree i love having fun with my kids we love doing things at the spur of the moment like my boys had done their early morning chores but it started raining so my son said can we ride in the rain i said why not and we had a good time, we talk a lot, just try to enjoy life and being a family

Answer 9

me too, i always try to remember how i was, alot of parents forget how they told little white lies to say out late, or say they are staying at a friends when they were somewhere else, denied drinking or smoking under age come all we have nearly all done that, and the most never talked about under age sex, which went on then and always will

Answer 10

I am going to share my experiences with my kids when they get older. My mom did that with me and I will do it with them. My mom was always down to earth and gave me room to breath and I will be the same with my kids. I refuse to parent like an old fuddy duddy!!!