i love my step mother, but sometimes she can have that it's "my way or the hiway" attitude about her, I mean it is good to have a back bone, but how do I deal with that without disrepecting her and getting her to just relax?
2006-07-31 15:37:53 · 15 answers · asked by Heartful_poet 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
How old r u?
2006-07-31 15:41:33 · answer #1 · answered by jsmcginnis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Step-mom, I appreciate all your good advice and the time you put in helping me. I'm feeling here, tho, like I really want to try something a little different here. What do you think?"
"Step-mom, you're right - my hair does look better the way you're suggesting, but I feel more comfortable with it like this."
"Step-mom, you're right, IMing my friends before I finish my chores is causing problems. What can we set up that works for me and you?"
If you tell an overbearing step-mom that she is over-bearing, you will be in the doghouse. Over-bearing people don't like feedback on their personalities and this feedback will never ever help to change their personalities. It just puts you in the doghouse.
Besdies, don't presume as a child to tell a grownup how to be. Talk about how you feel, what you need, what you want, ask her opinion, clarify what she wants/needs.
2006-07-31 15:48:03 · answer #2 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say mom or if you call her by her first name I really need to talk to you about something that has been bothering me do you think we could talk. Then talk to her like you are an adult (if you are one then I am sorry for disrespecting you because you just don't know sometimes). Explain your feelings to her and tell her how maybe the two of you can work something out. Yelling isn't going to cut it trust me.
2006-07-31 15:45:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, then you should tell her that even though you respect that she is an independent woman that at times she can be overbearing, and that you do respect her opinion and that everyone is entitled to theirs, but the fact is, is that you find her attitude towards other peoples opinion is sometimes disrespectful. tell her that if she wants people to do what she wants or to listen to what she wants then she has to listen to someone else's ideas too, because the door swings both ways, and if she keeps forcing others to do her things then people who do, are going to feel reluctant to do so, or they will choose not to do it at all. and you can tell her that if she wants to do things so badly then she can also do it on her own time or do it by herself, because if she's forcing others to do what she wants then that's not very fun, so then people will begin to avoid her and that really wouldn't be any fun.
2006-07-31 15:44:45 · answer #4 · answered by outofwater920 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you are starting correctly by loving her. I found that the more I fought, the more she did. I pick my battles now and never approach her in a negative way. It took a lot of self discipline, but it payed off. Now we consider eachother's feelings and opinions. A lot can be solved with respect and love.
2006-07-31 15:43:41 · answer #5 · answered by 1K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank her for her opinion, but if is your business, politely let her know that you will make the decision on your own. Some people just do not understand boundaries, usually because their family of origin was too enmeshed in each other's business.
2006-07-31 15:42:51 · answer #6 · answered by TXChristDem 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my parents are the same way. Ugh! how you deal with it depends on how old you are. If you live at home follow the house rules, but that does'nt mean you can't have a say in the rules.
2006-07-31 16:18:45 · answer #7 · answered by Adam B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had to move out, lol before her attitude changed, i know thats probbably not an option for you , but we fougt all the time, over nothing,, because it was the same deal my way or the high way , lol i chose the high way, and after that she and i got along perfectly
2006-07-31 15:42:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are doing OK as it is. You are thinking it through. Keep doing it.
Pay her some extra attention. Gain her respect further. She will probably back off at that point.
-Dio
2006-07-31 15:43:19 · answer #9 · answered by diogenese19348 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just respect her. You can't do anything anout it, if you really want to take care of it in the nicest way...
So respect her .. and be open, talk to her, discuss it with her. You are old enough and you like taking care of things your way! And that you really can't be caged up like that..
2006-07-31 15:42:08 · answer #10 · answered by Shiry Madison 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋