Suppose you cheat on the person you're dating, but you know that s/he loves you deeply enough to forgive you no matter what and will not leave you. Do you tell him/her or save him/her the trauma? If you were cheated on and would stay with him/her regardless, wouldn't you rather not hear about it?
2006-07-31 15:29:41 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This HAS happened to both people in the relationship and both times the cheater was forgiven. But here we are again...
2006-07-31 15:39:15 · update #1
I think it depends. How badly exactly would they be hurt? Of course its going to hurt, but is it something they will be able to move on with, or will it hold them back. Forget about what will happen to you but think about how fragile they are for a minute. Sometimes its better if you keep it your problem, not make it theirs. Keeping a secret can eat you alive, maybe thats a good punishment, why hurt them unless you had to. Keep your pain, your own.
However, I do think honesty is usually the best policy. If they find out on their own, and I know women usually do, how is that going to affect them. That may hurt more than the actual cheating. Feeling like a fool can do that to a person.
Personally, I'd rather know.
2006-07-31 15:38:16 · answer #1 · answered by Chrissy 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Yes. Honesty is the best policy. You have to tell them as soon as possible. If you cheat on someone and tell them, they will be very hurt and you have no right to expect them to forgive you. But putting it off will make things so much worse. Either way, it will take them a long time to trust you and possibly others again, and you will be very lucky to have someone who has enough room in their heart to forgive a thing like that. I personally would not be able to handle being with someone who cheated on me. I would want to know as soon as possible, but I would need time alone to think and there are no guarantees of me taking them back.
2006-07-31 22:37:25 · answer #2 · answered by nintendofreak91788 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say Telling will Open up a WHOLE NEW can of Worms and that I would not Volunteer the information..... However If she suspects and asks I would come clean and be truthful. Best thing to do is get those thoughts of cheating out of your mind! if you are having thoughts about it then something is Wrong that needs to be fixed first! if that cant be resolved then its Time to split Before you go out on the prowl for a new lady in your life.
2006-07-31 22:36:39 · answer #3 · answered by D B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes and no. I was in the same situation. I told my husband that i had cheated on him, and for awhile he never said anything about it at lease 3 months went by and when i told him i was pregnant he said it was for the other guy, but 3 1/2 months had passed before i found out.
So if you are woman or man ask your spouse this same question Hypothetically specking, and let them determine your honesty, then you decide if you want to tell them the truth or not.
2006-07-31 22:58:05 · answer #4 · answered by bettyboop_carter 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you don't tell, if it was just a one of thing that happened and will not happen again, you keep it too yourself and dont risk your relationship over a stupid thing that you have done.
If you are doing it on a regular basis then you should tell them, and end the realtionship at the same time.
2006-07-31 22:42:53 · answer #5 · answered by kel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say something.
If you have any kind of soul, it will eat away at your forever (if you say with this person for an extended period of time). Pretty pompous to assume they would stay with you no matter what, sounds like you are using this relationship in all the wrong ways (i.e. you view your partner as someone you can walk all over)
2006-07-31 22:33:31 · answer #6 · answered by Steve S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is.But you need to look at why you had to cheat in the first place.If you care for the girl you are with ,then by cheating on her you have disrespected her, and yourself.If your not ready to be faithful then you need to be honest and let your feelings known ..you can then respect yourself,and the girls know where your comming from.Dont play on her emotions just because you know she will forgive you..that would be cruel.
2006-07-31 22:39:22 · answer #7 · answered by annie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell the truth..or you will fall sooner or later..lies always get found out..and what goes around comes around..whatever you do wrong to someone it will come back to you until you make it right. People like to think they get away w/ crap but you will see that justice will prevail..it may take years but you won't get away with it. You know what's right..do it.
2006-07-31 22:43:04 · answer #8 · answered by RINA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm pretty sure most will agree that you want to know if you're the one being fooled, but may not want to be honest if you're the one fooling around
2006-07-31 22:34:33 · answer #9 · answered by NicNac 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you can live with the guilt, keep it a secret. Chicks always say be honest, they just want something to hold against you later on when they are pissed. keep you mouth and zipper shut.
2006-07-31 22:33:40 · answer #10 · answered by Mikey B. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋