Ive been dating my gf for about a week and I have realized that she still talks to her ex over the phone and online. They talk alot and I dont know what I should do about it.. should I talk to her? and what should I say?
2006-07-31 14:58:08 · 38 answers · asked by halo_web2003 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She's your girlfriend, not your wife. Get over it.
2006-07-31 15:02:16 · answer #1 · answered by Snake Oil 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well, first of all, all healthy relationships must be built on trust. I can understand how this might be uncomfortable for you in some ways, so maybe you should just talk to her. At the same time if you have only been dating then I would want to know how long he has been her ex, and why did they break up. If they are still on speaking terms it can't be for too bad a reason, which could mean that they may plan on trying to work things out, but who knows. I would first talk to her and tell her how you feel, and go from there.
2006-07-31 15:03:53 · answer #2 · answered by jensarquist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do nothing, don't even get jealous. If you don't trust her you shouldn't be in a relationship with her. It is possible for ex's to be good friends and stay that way.
But if she wants to cheat with her ex, there's nothing you can do about it. You being controlling and start limiting her time with her ex or any other strategy you come up with will just push her to cheat even more. Cheaters will be cheaters no matter what the circumstances are. Only thing you can do with cheaters is to stay away from them.
My advice, trust her. If she doesn't value this trust you give her and screw up, dump her. It's her loss. Plenty of other women out there, chances are 50% of them are better than your current girlfriend.
I also believe in being friends with your partner's friends too. If she's friends with her ex, you should be too. Maybe you all can hang out together.
2006-07-31 15:08:50 · answer #3 · answered by evil_clown_of_destruction 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A week is not long at all. How long were they together and how long have they been split up? Why are they talking? Most people don't continue a relationship with an ex? Name me ten people who have any thing nice to say about an ex. Do they have children? Personal friends? What's the connection?
2006-07-31 15:04:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey man, I'm not going to BS you. All of the trust in the world is not going to stop her from cheating if she is going too. The question you should ask yourself is "do I feel like she loves me enough not to cheat". If you can answer that, then you have your answer. Take it or leave it.
Edit: The fact that you show jealousy is enough to show that you care. It is about trust, but love does not necessitate trust. Humans are vulnerable to make mistakes, and it is a good idea to doubt the intentions of the 'other' guy. I would not let that go unabided.
2006-07-31 15:04:34 · answer #5 · answered by mike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing yet, since it is only a week. Just wait and see just how close they are as time goes on, but yeah, not a cool thing. I did the same with my ex and always ran to him and yes, I did cheat but I was wrong and so is your new girlfriend, all I am saying is keep an eye on that.
2006-07-31 15:02:17 · answer #6 · answered by Jinx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for starters.. tell her how you feel about her still having communications with him. Me personally, I have a male friend.. who once I was intimate with.. we dated for several months.. however prior to dating him. I had know him for like 5 years and we were the best of friends. I have to say.. male friends for females are the best.. simply because we dont have to worry about the knife-in-the-back stuff or the gossip etc. with male friends. Anyway.. back to the story. .after he and I decided it was time to quit dating etc. we still remained friends and there is no hanky panky.. we are just simple friends. This might be the case with your girl and her ex. I just know it is possible to at one time.. date someone and remain as friends afterwards... with nothing other than simple friends. So. best thing I think you can do is just ask her. It might be as simple as I described. And at least she knows how you feel about the situation. Good Luck.
2006-07-31 15:06:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One week is really too short a time to start making demands on her. Wait and see what the situation is before jumping to conclusions. Talk to her. Ask if she stayed friends with all of her exes. Tell her you feel insecure about it. Don't expect her to stop talking to him just for you after just one week, but maybe she will be open to explaining things to you about their relationship. Why it ended, on what terms, is she still involved with him, etc... are all things you might want to ask about and try to find out before doing anything rash. If you push too hard, she'll push you out of her life.
2006-07-31 15:04:32 · answer #8 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, its a new relationship, none the less you should speak to her. Also, if your having trust issues this early in the relationship maybe you should reevaulate your status with her. By no means am I suggesting breaking up but if she can't respect how you feel about her still conversating with her ex then maybe she isn't the one.
2006-07-31 15:03:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U should not try to stop the friendship if that all is. it will only make matter worse. u should tell her that it make u feel uncomfortable and when she with u. u would appreciate if she would talk to him when u are not around, and ask her would she feel if u was always talking to ex because ex should be ex's
2006-07-31 15:04:44 · answer #10 · answered by ladyspeed26 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't allow that I mean if they are over then what is the need to chat all the time. And what if this guy isn't over her? Either way they have a past and there should be no reason for her to continue their relationship now that your in her life
2006-07-31 15:02:47 · answer #11 · answered by MelC 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋