why do you say to your boyfriend when he tells you something that's utterly tacky?

Question

won't go into detail, but something was said and i got upset and he got upset that i was upset!

it was tacky, tasteless, and no reason for it. how do you respond to such a crude comment made by a loved one?

Answer 1

Try, " That was tacky and tasteless."

If you can't speak to your "loved one" honestly, what kind of relationship do you really have?

Answer 2

Clearly state the the comment he made was tacky, tasteless and there was no reason for him to be making that type of a statement. You can take him to one side, and privately and calmly, explain this to him. Sometimes people will make tack less comments thinking that they will be seen as a joke; and the statement is not taken that way by others. Try not to make it a personal affront to him, but a criticism of the statement that was made. We are human, and sometimes we let improper thoughts run through our minds, and instead of stopping in the mind, they slip out of our mouths. Best of luck to you. Have a good night!!!

Answer 3

We all have our less than appealing side. Obviously that comment is okay in certain groups he hangs out with. Now he knows it is not okay with you. Communication is key.

Many of the comments we make and opinions we express are simply a product of our environment and upbringing. He may not actually feel what he is saying. I suggest we try to promote tolerance and open-mindedness, even in our loved ones, and if they love us, they will strive to make some accommodation. Now that someone has called him on it, he is forced to think about what he actually said. It is very likely he had never really thought about such comments before. Opening minds is one of the most important steps. Just try to be understanding and make sure they learn from the incident.

Answer 4

I say: "Thank you for such a rude/crude/tasteless comment. It's always nice to know what you're thinking." or "You know, there are just some things that aren't meant to be shared. I think that was one of them."

Answer 5

I don't know what I'd say, but if he is apt to do that sort of thing I'd take it as a warning sign. People put on there best faces when they're dating, so if he is doing this now and it bothers you, imagine how you'll feel about it after 5, 10, 20, or 50 years.

Answer 6

I try not to publically embarass them.

I may turn and give a quiet "LOOK" at them showing my distain. If he were to push it by saying "what?" I kinda shake my head with the distainful look and just quietly say "no." and drop it. Your boyfriend was not upset that you were upset, more he was upset as you may have publically humiliated him. I know he started his own public humiliation, but your outloud distain made it even more embarassing for him. Try to respect him a little more, and watch how he will listen and understand your cues to be more tactful (meaning, show him how to be tactful)

Answer 7

There is a range of expressions that you can use:

Give him a blank look, as if you didn't hear or understand

Say "eww, disgusting"

Explain in normal human words that you don't like this kind of jokes in your presence. Give reasons. My reasons would be this makes me feel low class.

Answer 8

Get used to it, Guys say alot of tacky, Stupid, And down right disgusting things (all of us).
You have to learn to overlook it as you will expect him to overlook your flaws.
If your looking for Mr. Perfect then get used to being lonely.

Answer 9

Honestly and openly. Tell him how his comment made you feel and why it was so distasteful. Perhaps he did not intend for it to sound the way it came out. Then, go fro m there.

Answer 10

You have to make it clear to him exactly why you are upset. Guys can be remarkably dense. Just be honest, tell him that what he said hurt your feelings and why, let him apologize, and then get over it. If he wasn't trying to be malicious, then he deserves forgiveness.