At park, Talking to some kid, I said her mom lied about her being able to be anything she wants to be? Bad?

Question

Some strange kid tried to talk to me while I was waiting for my girlfriend, sitting on the park swings, and at some point, without thinking I told her what's written above, and she took it really to heart.

I didn't realize until after I finished explaining to her the truth about life, that she was teary eyed and she said she was going to get her mom.

I got my **** out of there. Is it wrong to be truthful to children? Or is it right to delude them?

If you're an adult answering, and you truly believe it's not a lie in the first place.....I have some things I'd like to sell you.

Answer 1

heh

you did the right thing

although you should have stuck around for the mom to see if she was bangable

Answer 2

This is the kind of stuff self-fulfilling prophecies are made of. You just gave the child an excuse to just be an average bloke, not have to work as hard, not have any ambition or drive, do things well below her potential. Essentially what you told her was to marry a dull husband, live in an impoverished neighborhood, have a very boring job, and live a very boring existence. Why have goals? Why have dreams?

Now you're just one person. If she's smart enough she won't believe you. If her mother is a good parent, she'll counsel her and build up her spirit again and show her other points of view in sharp contrast to your own.

In any case, what if this little girl wants to be a famous ballerina, a doctor, a lawyer, politician, gymnast, stock broker- own her own business, etc. What if she has the dream but does not take it all the way to the top and beyond? What if she doesn't become "famous" but manages to earn a scholarship? She would still become a better person than if she didn't bother to try at all. When people work towards a goal they grow in so many ways because they are working on the goal. They develop things like poise, artistic or athletic abilities. They become more mature. It affects the kinds of grades they get in school. By busting her balloon you are killing her vision for the future. It's vision that keeps people pumped up, so excited they cannot sleep etc. Having dreams keeps people in better health, and by working towards their dreams and succeeding people have a better chance of fighting off disease for the longer term. They are happier people and they are also richer in so many other ways.

Have you heard the quote that success is 90% inspiration and 10% perspiration? People can literally make reality whatever it is they dream about, as long as they stay the course and keep reminding themselves of their "whys?" It is also important to make the dream as vivid as possible.

It sounds like you are someone who says offhanded remarks just to stir the pot. Why didn't you stick around to face the mother? Did you not want to be proven that you were wrong?

Answer 3

Who the H*LL are you to tell ANYONE that they can't be anything they want to be when they grow up?!?!?!?!?!? Did your father kill your puppy? Did your mother berate you because you were a bed-wetter? Who pushed you down so hard you never wanted to get up?

While it's not easy to attain certain goals in this life, EVERYTHING is possible with the right attitude, enough personal energy and drive and the love and support of those that love you. If what you say is true, then based on my family's past (both my parent's were alcoholics; my father didn't work for the last 13 yrs of his life; both my parents died of cancer at 56 and 60 yrs of age but they loved and supported us and cheered us all on to become the peoeple we are today.) If what you say is true, NONE of my 4 brothers and I should have lifted ourselves up out of the trailer park. FYI: one brother is a litigation attorney for a large law firm on the East Coasts; another brother is a reporter for a large news paper and was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize; another is a nuclear engineer and the last is a sales manager for a nationwide bill board advertiser. I have a great job in the mortgage industry and we ALL have beautiful families. I wonder how THAT all happened?

Do the world a favor, OK? Don't talk to any other kids unless they're your own. Just be prepared to support them for the rest of thier lives though. You know what? Do everyone a favor and just don't have any kids at all. Me and mine don't want to have to look forward to supporting them through governmental agencies.

Answer 4

When my son was 8 he dreamed of playing for the NHL. He played on a house league and barely skated. What I told him was this: While he did not come by the talent of playing the game naturally, if that is truly what he wanted to do, and he was willing to work hard at it including but not limited to, eating, drinking, playing and dreaming hockey, he had a good chance of making it happen. Fortunately when he turned 12, he took up the guitar which he is naturally gifted at playing.

While it is not right to delude children, I'm not sure we should dash any body's dreams. The internal force of desire can overcome many obstacles.

You sound like a person who has lost his dream. While you may not be living the dream you had as a child, you need to hitch your wagon to a new dream. Perhaps you and your girlfriend can form a new dream together.

For everyone needs:

Someone to love
Something to do &
Something to look forward to

Dream on...

Answer 5

The truth about life? Are you kidding? You were the dishonest one. You have no right to judge....did you tell her there was no Santa Claus too? Somethings are just part of being a child and growing up. Obviously you are feeling guilty about what you did, or you wouldn't have posted the question. I for one think that you can accomplish anything if you want it bad enough.

Answer 6

"THERE IS NO SANTA/EASTER BUNNY/TOOTH FAIRY"

No, it's not wrong to tell children the truth. It sucks that parents feel obligated to lie to their kids, to "protect" them from reality.

Of course there is the issue that parents don't want strangers telling their children these truths, for fear that they will be scarred for life or some such nonsense. I think kids can handle more than their parents give them credit for, and if they aren't going to be the ones that break the news to them, they should be prepared for a stranger/friend at school/newspaper article to do it for them.

*EDIT*

And you're right. You CAN'T be anything you want to be. I want to be a... (for example) guinea pig. A real live, fluffy, guinea pig. And no one can stop me, because THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO BE!!

Answer 7

While you were being truthful, you have no idea what is going on in that child's family.
Kids' talents will show themselves later, but they need to believe in themselves NOW to learn some of the more difficult things for them.
What you did was rob that little kid of hope for her future.

Answer 8

there is something heavily incorrect there. He may no longer have done something with this lady yet something has made him imagine two times about his marriage. He ought to have had a element such as her, or he ought to have merely used her as someone to search for suggestion from with and bitched about you, his marriage and so on. you've 5 youthful little ones mutually yet heavily, you choose to both make him variety it out once and for sturdy or leave him. Make him communicate about each and every thing, from day one and variety it out. If he gained't do it then take the little ones and bypass, you may do better than someone who treats the mum of his little ones in this kind of fashion.

Answer 9

Yes, bad. You just undermined the mom's role in her child's life. To tell a child that her mom lied to her is devastating to a child, and to her relationship with her mom. Never do that again, my dear. You should always analyze the situation first before you speak.

Answer 10

In my opinion it is very important for children to have hope, telling them they cant do something at an early age will not help them gain confidense in themselves. even though the truth is good, they might not understand what you mean completely, after all, they are only children that have alot to learn.

Answer 11

It doesn't matter what's wrong or right at this point, except that unless it's your child, it's not your place to tell them anything. That just shows immaturity and childishness on your part.