My son is smoking?

Question

I was told by a neighbor that my 12 year old son was smoking in the garage. I came home the one day and I caught my son smoking. I acted really casual about it since I smoke too. So I lit one of his smokes and smoked one with him. I then asked him how long has he been smoking and everything else. I did want to know if he was inhaling the smoke. I watched him smoke and he does inhale the smoke. I'am unsure of what to do. I offered to quit if he will quit with me. He said that he would think about it. What do you think I should do?

just an update my son told me that he smokes half a pack in one day. I was shocked and he has been smoking for about six months. i told him that he needs to quit he just said yeah right. he then told me that he enjoys it too much and he like the buzz from it. i guess i will quit

Answer 1

OMG- 12 yrs old? You're too lenient Dad! Both of you need to quit! Good luck!

Answer 2

The first thing to do is for you to quit unconditionally. The old do as I say, not as I do does not work. I smoked for over 20 years and was smoking 5 packs a day when I decided that I was worth more than the habit and quit cold turkey. My wife smoked for an additional 15 months before she realized I was serious and quit also. That was 25 years ago! The old--- I'll quit IF you quit does not cut it. SET THE EXAMPLE!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

I smoke, too. But I'm also 20, and my mom just found out, and she doesn't smoke. She cries all the time because of it.

When you're a smoker, you have everything against you. You know it's going to kill you, that it is killing you right now, and that you are killing everyone else around you. But it doesn't even sound that important because of that addiction in your brain.

If your son is already smoking, and he's twelve, who else does he have to keep him from smoking but his mom? All his other friends will either smoke or not smoke, but none of them will have the influence on him that you have on your son.

If you truly do not want to see your son addicted to cigarettes for the rest of his life, then make him quit. You can't make him quit, of course, but you can do all you can to show him how badly you'd like to see him stop. As much as I've always hated my mom telling me what to do, I won't ever get the image out of my head of my mom crying, begging me to stop smoking.

What do you care about more: The cigarettes, or the health and life of both you and your son?

Answer 4

Tell him he won't "think" about it and you two are both going to do it. You were right by not freaking out on him...since you smoke too...you can't be a hypocrite. But hes 12!!!! You have to get him to stop now before its too LATE. I doubt hes even addicted and probably just does it too be cool.....the hard part is going to be YOU QUITTING. Its the only way this can be done though and I think it would be a great thing if you two did it together.

Answer 5

Quit and make him quit. Make arrangements with your local hospital for him to meet with some cancer patients (that their cancer was related to smoking) have them describe the pain and agony they are dealing with. Sometimes looking death in the face will jar a kid into knowing that cool is definitely not the rule. There are patients that offer this up so do that, and tell him about your regrets about smoking. Make this something to bond over. and spend more time with him, as much as possible. And let him know that smoking is unacceptable and if you catch him again there will be severe consequences.

Answer 6

well it seems as though u don't have any discipline over your son. first of all, u shouldn't have smoked with him. that is letting him know it's ok to smoke. he is too young to be smoking and to tell u he will think about quiting. you shouldn't even offer for him to stop smoking, u should have demanded him because u are the mother and he is the child. first u need to stop your bad habits in order to reach to him. also u need to gain discipline over your child because by the time he is an adult will not be listening to you and will probably take everything u say for granted.

Answer 7

You as an adult know what the benifits are from giving up the smokes. l think it's great that you are willing to give up smoking with your son, you sound like a true role model, but your son is still to young to really know and understand why smoking is really bad. If you are going to give up the smokes together, you need to give him a real reason to give a the smokes, like a reward or for achieving it.hope it all works out.

Answer 8

When I started smoking, my mom did everything but sit down and talk with me about the effects of smoking. Just like you she said since she smoked she didn't think she had the right to say anything. She died of emphysema, I was the one who took care of her and buried her. Three years later I quit smoking. For the love of God, talk to him, take him to a hospital and show him what happens. Quit. Do whatever it takes. Just love him through it all.

Answer 9

that was pretty good answer already. get some literature on stop smoking. Show it to him and ask him what he thinks. Make sure he knows that you are serious about quiting if he will do it with you. Make it sound like you are desparate to quit....and that you need his help. That way he feels like the one who is helping and not being FORCED to quit...because then he'll just do it behind your back!

Answer 10

u should definitly quit even though ur son might not i think u may have sort of given him permision 2 smoke when smoked wit him but if u smoke then he sees no reason why he should quit so if u quit i definitly think he would quit but u shouldnt only do it for him u should do it 4 urself & ur family 2 & the whole like air poulutin thinga mobjigger

Answer 11

Wow. I'm so glad my mom wasn't you. She caught me smoking once and spanked and grounded me. She was a smoker at the time herself. But 12 years later I don't hold it against her that she was being a hypocrite, I'm just glad she stopped me from smoking because it is truley a wicked habit. He might be angry and call you a hypocrite now, but he will be thankful you did it when he grows up to be a non smoker. I hope this helps.