I have noticed that after my girlfriend asks me for advice or help and I explain to her something that she is doing that could be hurting the situation- she usually responds with "I know, but..." and continues to explain away how she is not wrong.... is she ignoring what I am telling her or what ? Is this respect in terms of the relationship?
2006-07-31 13:11:57 · 26 answers · asked by yadedyah_dc 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's no sign of disrespect, when someone is in a situation and asks advice from someone else who isn't in that situation the person giving the advice sees the situation and is able to give a rational possible solution but cannot take into consideration the emotional impact of the situation on the sufferer's judgement - and so it is not that she is not listening to you - it is that whatever you are telling her may sound simple to you but in her head she doesn't see how that can help her.
Or Much more likely - she is extremely stubborn and whatever you are saying is going in one ear and coming out the other because it is not what she wants to hear and she wants you to agree with her and she is denial and thinks she could not possibly be wrong in that situation - but it is no disrespect to you, she just has a problem admitting when she is wrong.
Most often people deal with their problems by just spilling them out to someone they can talk to and trust/ in this case it is you/ they don't really want or expect your help, hell they don't even want to hear what you have to say, they just want to talk about it and get it off their chest - she wants to talk and hear you say she is absolutely right and give her some lovin and sympathy - it'll make her feel better than solving the problem.
2006-07-31 13:16:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily.... I think some times it's normal to defend yourself, even when you know that you could do something to help the situation. I'm sure she is listening. Otherwise she wouldn't be asking. I'm sure she takes into consideration all of your advise, and sometimes puts it to use.
I also totally understand you feeling like..."Why do you even ask, if you are going to go on the defense?" Sometimes I feel the same way. But I think that I often tend to react the same at times, but I also know that I consider using the person's advise. Hope I helped some. Good luck :)
2006-07-31 20:19:20 · answer #2 · answered by Emily :) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Often what a woman needs is someone to listen, not tell her what to do. Once we verbalize a problem and hear it out loud, the solution becomes more obvious, just like when you write a math problem down it becomes easier to see the answer. Men often like to offer solutions, which seem like you're telling us what to do, or point out what you think we did wrong. It's more of a communication problem than anything. Listen to her, rephrase and repeat back to her what you're hearing so that she may hear it from a different angle, but don't tell her what to do. I think you'll both be happier.
2006-07-31 20:18:22 · answer #3 · answered by telaine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably not ignoring you, she probably just doesn't want to hear what you're saying. People often have a hard time hearing that they are wrong. Next time she asks you for advice about something, tell her you would love to help her out, BUT.......
2006-07-31 20:15:07 · answer #4 · answered by jensarquist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me as if your girlfriend just wants someone to listen while she blows off steam. So I say the next time she asks for advice sit and listen only. Once she is fully done, asks her if she really wants some advice. If she does then give it to her, if not as they say, no harm, no foul.
2006-07-31 20:15:48 · answer #5 · answered by firecracker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't want to know that she is doing something wrong. She is pretty much ignoring it because she doesn't want you to point out her faults. Just try listening to her and give her advice without pointing out something bad she is doing. Maybe that will help.
2006-07-31 20:15:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably is ignoring you wishing that you'd hurry up and let her have the chance to turn it around and make it seem that you're wrong. Women always do that and it's in their biology. You could sit there and talk to them for hours but if they have one thing to say about it then they will focus their attention to what they're going to say rather than what you're saying.
2006-07-31 20:16:18 · answer #7 · answered by yotazama 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually when women have a problem what they want is for you to listen. To try to understand their point of view. If she is wrong she does need to listen to your advice and think about it.
2006-07-31 20:15:23 · answer #8 · answered by Pinky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many woman out there who knows that they are always right and you are always wrong, alot of woman are like that , theres nothing that you or i can do about it my wife is the same same way hard headed. Of course she listens to you but being that she is a woman she is always right you are always rong and there will be nothing that anyone can do about it,
2006-07-31 20:16:45 · answer #9 · answered by Quasar1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course she's listening or else she wouldn't be asking. She is only looking for another opinion, not really the right or wrong answer.
2006-07-31 20:15:27 · answer #10 · answered by Brina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋