How could a mother think of ending her life?

Question

My husband put this big hook in the ceiling to hang my 10 month old son's jolly jumper. I have become obsessed with thoughts of hanging myself from this hook. It is the perfect height and would hold me. This should be the happiest time of my life, so everyone says. I have a beautiful baby boy. I am sad always. My anorexia/bulimia have returned and I can't stop. Husband is out of work from union job and we lost health benefits. I am trying for 3 months to get my baby insurance from State of New Jersey. Older son is drinking and fresh with me. My mom had stroke and my dad has altzheimers and I am left to go there and do everything. My brothers say they will help but don't. Rent is behind and I think phone is being shut off soon so no more internet. Husband is not happy with me cause he says not enough sex. I can't work now because I'm trying to keep my parents in their home so they don't go to nursing home. I'm very tired. I feel very alone and very depressed.

Answer 1

There is always hope. You need to turn to the Lord for help.

Sometimes He brings us down to the very bottom so the only way we can look is up.

Sometimes He has to bring some of us to the end of our rope before we give it all (our lives) to Him, and, technically, when you give your life to Him, you are giving up all rights to it anyway, because He commands us to die daily. . "if any man will not pick up his cross daily and follow me, then He cannot be my disciple". .

Those disciples knew what the cross meant, it meant dying to their own selves and desires and becomming alive to God's desires for them (God's work)>

I suggest you look around and ask a good local church for help.

Answer 2

I can see why you would consider suicide. I would too, under all that stress. Tell your lazyass husband that if he wants sex from you to go get a job first, any job, even cleaning floors at mc'donalds.
Your parents NEED to be in a nursing home where they can be cared for. I know this makes you feel guilty, but alzheimers patients are not capable of reasoning, and your dad is probably abusing your mom without you knowing it . Its hard to let them go, but really they will be happier in a home where they are being looked after.
Tell your brothers they are now responsible for your parents' welfare, and just you see how fast they put them into a home.
The older son needs a rude awakening. If he is 16 or older, kick his worthless butt out of the house. and set down rules for him if he isn't. No booze, no drugs, no smart mouthing, and smack him if he disobeys. If he hits you back, call the cops, and have him arrested! Make your husband follow these rules also.

The only important things in your mind right now should be your health and that new baby. You husband is home, let him do the house work, and make the meals, If he doesn't like it, too bad! Let him starve. Take the baby and get out of the house as often as possible, go for long walks, go to a mall, just go out where there are people. When your family realizes that you aren't going to be their doormat any more, they will learn to cope without you. Then. when you are feeling better, find a part time job, get a great hair cut, and some new clothes. Put yourself first!

Answer 3

Looks bad, but it really could be much worse. Take a time out for yourself. No matter who pitches a bit*h. I have felt like ending it all, when things get to mangled. I tell the Great Spirit the load is to heavy and some how things start to become a lot lighter. Your Son needs you more than anyone else, so concentrate on him. Leave all the other problems at home. If your son is over 18 kick his butt out, life on the street is a real eye opener. There are health care services that can help with mom and dad, tell your brother to take a flying leap, and hubby can bring in it by hand car. If he speaks ask him politely if he would like to see you hanging from bungi cord 1 day.

Answer 4

Sounds like your family is going through some really tough times. And remember you are raging with hormones even though your baby is ten months old.
You didn't say if you are nursing your baby or not...if you are...theres even more of a hormonal imbalance going on.
You are streched to the max trying to take care of everyone...the baby, your mom and dad, your dealing with your husband being out of work...you being exhausted...no wonder your not in the mood for taking care of his needs.
you need some help from others...some time for you... Is there anyway you can talk to your bros again and let them know that you are strapped?? maybe they could pitch in once a week...or for a couple hours here and there...any amount of time at this point would be relief for you. You don't have health insurance, have you tried to apply for state assistance?? if you can get coverage, try to find a therapist...maybe then you could get some help with your eating disorder and your suicidal thoughts. I am sending you pleasant thoughts, and my best wishes.

Answer 5

No matter how lonely and depressed you might be feeling right now, there's always a light. Things will get better, and then you will realize that even though your life seemed hard, there are many special people and opportunities around you. Be strong, for yourself and for the people who loves you! Seek for professional help, communicate your feelings to someone close to you, don't leave it all inside of you.

Answer 6

Honey, go to a doctor!
Even if you don't have health insurance, they will work out a payment plan with you!

Don't leave that beautiful baby!
You have a right to be depressed, but in that you also have a right to see a doctor.

Talk to a counselor, doctor, get some meds, just get help.

I've been there, thoughts of suicide, but now I realize that's not the way to go!

Go to the ER, and tell them you're suicidal. They will help you with a plan of action to help you feel better!

Please go. If not for you, then for you baby.

No one should have to grow up without their mother.

((((((((hugs to you)))))))

Answer 7

No wonder you feel very alone and depressed. Is there a crisis line you can get in touch with? What about social assistance to help you financially? You need so much help - and I hope you can find someone to advise and help you. I'm too far away and in another country.

Answer 8

Get to your nearest Emergency Room ASAP. If you don't have a way to get there, call 911 and they will get you there. You have a lot on your shoulders. By law, a hospital cannot refuse treatment of anyone and can even help you get the help you need. Good luck! ;)

Answer 9

Wow Do you have any good friends you trust and can confide in? Maybe someone like that can lend a ear and maybe some advice too, Im sorry to hear you're having so much trouble but if you like, you can PM me if you just want to talk :)

Answer 10

Please talk to someone in social services about all of this. You need mental health for yourself. You cannot continue to do all of this alone. Your parents may need to go in a nursing home. You cannot do all of this by yourself. Here is the link for New Jersey social services. They may also be able to help you get insurance for your son.

http://www.state.nj.us/nj/health/socserv/index.html

Please call 1-800-784-2433 or visit http://www.hopeline.com

Also, remember suicide may be a permanent solution for you, but it is creating a gaping hole for your children, your parents, and your husband. It is bad now, but it will get better. Please, consider your family before you do this to yourself. If you need to talk you can call that number or visit their website. They want to talk to you! They want to help you through this!

Answer 11

You are under a lot of stress right now. I know it feels overwhelming. Your children really need you in their life. Ending things is not the answer. Show what you've written to your husband , brothers, or a friend. You need help right now. Talk to your doctor if you have one, you might need anti-depressants. Please don't hurt yourself.