I was dating a girl for just under 4 years and it was my first real relationship. We broke up a year ago and since then have had a fair few revisits if you get me. We also spend alot of time together so much so that friends and family have commented. Now i am ready for the possibilities of another woman in my life, what dshould i do about the ex? Any advise peeps?
2006-07-31 10:14:25 · 23 answers · asked by MrHorse 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She dumped me but she wants me back now, but idont want her back. Tings seem to happen tho, sex i mean it just happens
2006-07-31 10:20:25 · update #1
That fact that you can maintain a friendship with your ex is great! More people should learn the art of getting along.
When it comes to the possibility of a new relationship, you need to be honest with your current friend (a.k.a. the ex). If you truly value her friendship, tell her that. But you need to tell her that when it comes to your heart, you feel the need to expand your horizons. She probably feels the same way. BUT then you need to stop using her for your sex partner. That is not fair to her, to you, or to the potential new love. Remember, a real man never uses and abuses.
2006-07-31 10:21:32 · answer #1 · answered by painterman19723 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You definitely have to get rid of the ex sweetheart. You are never going to keep a healthy relationship, never the less a good women who is going to put up with that. I don't care what any body says no ex is a good ex, to much history. You both have had your fun, cut your ties and move on. If you want a real friend make on and don't have sex with them. Sex complicates things if not used properly. I know for sure it is "man law" for a woman not to have any ties to her ex, but it is also a "woman law" too. Plus it's just tacky. I bet you can't find one person who would say that the never had sex in or out of another relationship with their ex after a break up while considering their self friends. I never allowed it or I never knew about it but one thing is I will keep it that way, and that is "coming from the horses mouth" lol. Good luck.
2006-07-31 17:24:33 · answer #2 · answered by nina_ross692000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This really depends on what you want now and in the future. But I think it's probably best that you start spending less time with her, because exes are best kept as distant or casual friends versus close ones. I say this cuz you said you're ready for a new relationship. If you do get into a new relationship, it's never a good idea to keep exes anywhere near it. It just complicates things (and your next gf will probably be jealous of your friendship).
It's good that you're cool with your ex, but you probably need to work on separating any attachments that you have to her so you guys can both move on as individuals. If any attachments remain when you start your next relationship, I guarantee it'll get messy.
2006-07-31 17:23:50 · answer #3 · answered by Banana_cakes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are ready for a new woman in your life you need to slow it down with the ex. I can tell you right now, not very many girls out there will be ok with that type of relationship...even if you do take out the sex part. If you are serious about meeting someone new, like i said just try and slow it down with the ex at first, eventually you will have to wing yourself away, unless you think you can JUST be FRIENDS, and if the new girl is ok with the relationship you two have.
2006-07-31 17:19:41 · answer #4 · answered by lexy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same boat for many years. This guy and I ended up to be better friends than when we were actually dating. There were a couple of times we hooked up in between relationships. But as the years went on, it got a little weird. We would go out together when ou significant others had other plans and everyone would comment or say things like, "You should just get married". Then I made the mistake of bringing my younger sister around to hang out with us. They ended up sleeping together-Which pissed me off to no end-and now we're no longer speaking. He was also very jealous of my current boyfriend and did everything he could to make him uncomfortable. Soooo-to answer your question-NO-In my humble opinion, I don't think it's a good idea.
2006-07-31 17:24:09 · answer #5 · answered by court 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are wanting to date another girl then you might want to stop hanging with the ex as much if you really have no real feelings there. Another girl that you might have something good with might take the ex as a threat or think that you would cheat. And that is the truth. I is OK to have a female friend, but an ex is something else that could get you in to trouble even if you didn't do anything. That is if you are really wanting to get with someone else. Good luck.
2006-07-31 17:24:05 · answer #6 · answered by covergurl_85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask yourself if you are hanging out with this girl so much because you want her back, or because you like having her around as a back-up lay.
If you really and truly want her around, then stop fooling around with this "friends" charade.
If you just like having her as a "just-in-case" girlfriend, then cut off the relationship because you don't really love or respect her.
2006-07-31 17:20:44 · answer #7 · answered by foreoki12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She aint your friend,she knows she has made a mistake & she wants you bad and she is hanging arond hoping you will change your mind.
It is not good for either of you,
clean break is needed on good terms mayb u can be friends again after she has got over you
goodluck
2006-07-31 17:26:02 · answer #8 · answered by jojitsui 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it can be hard but u can still be friends and have a life to but put the girl that u want to be with first and make it clear to the ex that u'r just friends good luck
2006-07-31 17:19:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well tell her u just want to be friends cause u want another girl and she should understand cause she cant cling on something that is going no where
2006-07-31 17:19:32 · answer #10 · answered by softballplayer913 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋