Go on, humour me.
2006-07-31 09:51:16 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A duck goes into a bar and says "got any bread?"
and the barman says, "no I havent got any bread",
a few minutes later the duck says " got any bread?"
and the barman says "no we havent got any bread",
the ducks says again "got any bread?"
and the barman said "no we havent got anybloody bread if you carry on asking for bread I will nail your beak to the bar. "
The duck asked the barman, "got any nails?"
and the barman shouts, "no I havent got any bloody nails",
so the duck say, "got any bread?"
2006-08-01 00:15:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas ranger decided to track him down.
After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head, and said, "You're under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out."
But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger's message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina.
"What did he say?" asked the Ranger.
The lawyer answered, "He said 'Get lost, you turkey. You wouldn't dare shoot me.'"
2006-07-31 19:04:27 · answer #2 · answered by 7FAM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy is sat at a bar all day and night getting really drunk.
At closing time he falls off his stool and crawls out of the pub.
He pulls himself to his feet at a lampost,starts to walk but falls over again.
He crawls to a car and the same thing happens,eventually he decides to just crawl all the home,makes it to his bed and crashes out.
In the morning his missus wakes him up shouting and screaming.
"You drunken bastard! you were at the pub all day again getting pissed weren't ya!"
"How do you know that?" he says
"The pub's been on the phone,you forgot your fuckin wheelchair!"
2006-07-31 17:05:37 · answer #3 · answered by marc p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Peridot,
Why does New Jersey have more toxic waste dumps than D.C. and D.C. more lawyers than New Jersey?
New Jersey got first choice.
-j.
p.s. Yes, I'm a lawyer.
2006-07-31 16:54:50 · answer #4 · answered by classical123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister is so stupid the first time she used a vibrator she cracked her front teeth.
2006-07-31 16:54:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did the chicken cross the street
2006-07-31 16:54:46 · answer #6 · answered by penguin, or maniacle evil genius 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
When he is talking!
2006-07-31 22:22:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋