Broke up nearly 3 years, have 2 small kids,fight about every small thing, sometimes we get on but it never lasts, we seem to want to make it work but can't. I can't live with the fighting but can't fix it coz he hates me. The kids are the 1s suffering most here.
2006-07-31 09:23:55 · 22 answers · asked by Lola 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Try counseling.
That's astute that you said the kids are the 1s suffering the most, it shows maturity and responsibility on your part, so kudos.
2006-07-31 09:26:45 · answer #1 · answered by Peter in La Jolla San Diego CA 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
What can I tell ya? Life's a *****. Sometimes you have to face certain facts about it. You say you've been trying to make it work, but can't? Try counselling. Try to talk him into it. If he won't listen, won't help make your relationship better, ten honey, you are better off without him! Do you care about the kids? Does he? You might want to consider being a single mom if he doesnt (Tho single-motherhood aint for wussies). If he does, maybe the two of you could go to court, try to work out an agreement, that will let both kids spend time with each of you. Why torment yourself? Really? Are you afraid you wont get anyone else? Insecure? Maybe you'll wind up alone the rest of your life? You need to look inside of you Am. Everyone is special. See that there's something special about you. the sooner you do that the better. You/ve got YOUR life. Don't let ANYONE wreck it for you.
2006-07-31 09:41:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Agree to disagree - respect each others opinions and be honest without being nasty.
When you both can see this isnt working, decide on couple counselling or individual counselling. Also family counselling is a possibility then your learning all together.
Parenting classes are a good option also because you can/will both discover the joys of parenting, sharing your skills, and respecting that you both parent differently.
Good Luck
2006-07-31 20:36:54 · answer #3 · answered by sunny_dayz_2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on with your life and let that go. Put your children 1st and foremost cause they don 't need to feel like they are the reason why their parents are fighting all the time. Let him go otherwise your children will pay the price. If it was going to workout, you 2 wouldn't be fighting. Is he worth it?
2006-07-31 09:28:16 · answer #4 · answered by sharethalove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
both of u need to agree to do what's best for the kids..both of u need to stick to the aggreement..i would suggest to go to a counselor,they could help a lot and make things easier for u..my friend was in a similiar thing and a counselor worked for them,and made the kids feel better tooo..and helped the parents to deal better with each other....a lot
2006-07-31 10:01:43 · answer #5 · answered by fancyface4u70 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
choose your battles and forget about the war..... get with the dad, sit down and discuss this like 2 adults... before hand get your paper out and write down the different areas of concern... bed times, toys, etc... be specific and to the point..... dont make the list to long, pick about 10 or so things that realy concern you and you want to change for the best, make it things that realy do matter in the childrens lives.... then discuss each point of concern, saying how you feel and giving him the chance to give his point of view on it.... make a compramise... let him choose on a few things and you choose on a few.... and sticking to what each other decides...... give him back his authority as a dad...... that seems to be the prob. with divorced couples, they want to decress each others authority in the childrens lives.. and that is NOT how it works.... those kids are still depending on 2 parents, NOT just 1....... so work on it and be fair and honest to yourself, to dad and most of all to those kids !!!! God bless
2006-07-31 09:33:04 · answer #6 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of such drama should have ceased to exist once you were no longer under the same roof....it should be your life and the kids and his and the kids and schedules should be strictly adhered to, no drama...break a rule and loose your rights...don't keep the kids in the middle of any drama...good luck.
2006-07-31 09:29:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you married ? I went threw the same thing with my daughters father. we divorced and later remarried. I came to the decision she was better off not being around all the fighting, I didnt want her to think this is how you show each other that this is love. I divorced him again. she is now 24 and a mother herself. Now she really understands why I did what I felt was best for all concerned. Childern will get threw it when they are young.
If you wait till their older, who knows what effects they will have.
Good luck on everything, and God bless your famliy.
2006-07-31 09:36:34 · answer #8 · answered by RAINBOW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show him as much love as you can, make him shy for his behaviour, never be rude to him, YOU CANT CLAP WITH ONE HAND, agree with him on everything and eventually within a week or two, the results will come forth.... all you need is a hell of a patience and need to control your temper like being a rock.
IF THE DOOR IS SHORT, YOU DONT BREAK IT, BUT YOU BEND A LITTLE TO ENTER... my prayers are with you... Bless you.. AMEN
2006-07-31 09:38:27 · answer #9 · answered by too_unconditional 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a hard situation when there are children involved, try mediation where there is a nutral meeting ground, and you can both air your views and concerns without fighting.
2006-07-31 09:29:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋