Im so upset. I had an argument with my cousin this morning. I'm 25 and divorced with 3 kids. I like to go out once in a while with friends. this weekend i went out because my birthday just passed. My mom watched my kids and she has to problem with me going out. Actally she like s that I go out once in a while to clear my head. Im a full time employee and student presuing my dream and I think I desrve to go out once in a while. Well my cousin (in front of a friend) started b****ing about me going out and leaving my kids with my mom. She's always one to speak when I go out. By the way I haven't gone out all summer. It was my first time in many weeks. Dont get me wrong, my cousin is very helpful and she helps me alot but she butts in all the time. Today was the first time I let all my anger know and I feel good. I dont want to be pushed around anymore.
2006-07-31 09:05:27 · 29 answers · asked by been there 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
the trick is to "speak up" befor you explode- how many times before this one did she make comments that bugged you?
this is a skill that will help you in life- don't swallow your emotions- verbalize them before you lose your temper...
"A slip of the foot and you'll soon recover- but a slip of the tongue you may never get over"
2006-07-31 09:10:52 · answer #1 · answered by R J 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
listen, dont let yourself get pushed around. THats not good at all! I mean, from what i heard you like you cousin, but like anyone, she has her pro's and con's. You two wont agree on everything. And if one of those things is leiving you kids with you mother, well... Your mother gets or should get time to be with her grandkids, and give you a break. I mean your a mother 24/7, and that requires alot of work. So thats the time where you should be able to clear your head. And to go out and do that once in a while is a great thing. So if your cousin is giving you a hard time, let her know how you feel about it. Dont be snotty and rude to her, just say, listen im a mother, it takes a lot of work, i need a break in a while. And say something like, there is not problem leaving my kids with their grandmother for a while. But dont stay mad at her over this little thing. From what you said, she's always there for you, or tried to be at least. So she does care. So dont stay mad. Forgive her, and try to work through your problem
2006-07-31 09:16:33 · answer #2 · answered by Danielle D 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Danni the best way to treat a problem is to talk about it . Having kids and not having time forurself is worse . Anyway the first thing is to ask ur cousin is why did she behave like that maybe she had a reason , as u know theres always 3 sides of a story urs or your cousin or the truth. U must also see that ur kids r u resposibilities and u must make sure that when u go out everyhtings under control at home
2006-07-31 09:16:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
All I can base an answer on is your good parenting and good judgement with mom as a babysitter. Cousins are second family and great freinds with developed relationship. If this is the case, then she feels like a big sister and looks down at you making adult decisions. If your cousin really is a she.
Just as long as your not out with the wrong crowd that can get you in trouble then you're O.K. If their is gossip coming back to you cousin, then that's something else to deal with.
2006-07-31 09:14:07 · answer #4 · answered by JOHNNY D 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As long as mom is ok with it then there should not be any problem. As you said you don't go out a lot once, and in a while is not much to ask (I think) to babysit. You are not taking advantage which is the most important thing, tell your cousin to let mom fight her own battles, and back off. But it's not that serious to stay mad over you've already voiced your opinion to her. So just relax and release that negative energy, as long as she gets your point that's all you need.
2006-07-31 09:12:57 · answer #5 · answered by sassytrini2 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should just let your cousin know real fast she needs to MYB (mind your business, meaning hers) you have the right to go out at least once a month or once every month and half. you CANNOT sit at home all the time or work all the time, and expect everything to be fine, you need to let go once in a while, enjoy yourself, and be free from kids and work. There is not a single one of my cousins or friends that dont go out once in a while. Now sometimes when you make it a habbit of going out like 3 times a month or ever weekend yes then they should be upset with you, but not for going out once in many weeks or even months. ENJOY YOUR LIFE ALSO!!!!!
2006-07-31 09:11:46 · answer #6 · answered by funandfaithful 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. You should not stay mad. You had a disagreement with a family member, it happens, but don't waste your whole life being angru with your cousin.
Seems like the cousin had good intentions (concern for your kids, and Mom) but went too far. I understand that releasing some frustration at a target who invited it would feel good, but this was not a never talk to your cousin again argument.
Good luck
2006-07-31 09:11:48 · answer #7 · answered by niffer's mom 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well i agree with your cousin. You have important responsibility to take care of. Even if your mom likes watching your kids you need to remember that they are your kids not hers. If you want to go out take your kids with you. Go to the park. You can clear your head there! But Once in a BLUE MOON you should go out by yourself. But remember you can't just go out when you want to beacuse you made a responsibility with another man. By the way ask him to keep the kids
2006-07-31 09:13:58 · answer #8 · answered by Bonita W 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's no reason to stay mad ... the whole point of letting your feelings out is to release the stresses that made you that way to begin with ... !
Your cousin loves you and wants the best for you and your children ... what she doesn't realize is she's not raising your children and not living your life .... next time she offers her "opinion" tell her thank you and you appreciate her help but you're going to do what's best for YOURSELF and YOUR children.
2006-07-31 09:25:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not worth it to stay mad. Ur cousin should butt out. U deserve 2 have a treat 2 go out sometimes.
2006-07-31 09:09:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no use in staying mad, it just zaps you of energy better spent else where. Everyone has a right to their opinion and you have the right to acknowledge that your cousin has her view of how to approach life and you have yours. Just let her know that you would appreciate it if she respected your choices and all the good things you do in life instead of bitching about the one thing she doesn't agree with you doing.
2006-07-31 09:09:34 · answer #11 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋