I have a daughter thats 14 and a sons thats 9. I had them when I was very young (Daughter when I was 18) Now I'm ready to have more kids. I just recently got remarried and its been hard on my kids. Should I have another baby, or should I wait?
2006-07-31 09:04:22 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Talk to your children first is what I'd do. You don't want to bring a baby into this until they are ready for it. Good Luck!
2006-07-31 09:08:08 · answer #1 · answered by Caffiene Junkie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My kids are 10, 8, 6, and 5. Three of which are boys. So my husband and I decided we wanted to try for another girl. Well, five months ago, we got a boy.
We discussed this with our kids before and after I got pregnant so they would know what to expect.
It has been a nightmare since he got here. All my kids do is complain that the baby gets more attention than they do, why do I like the baby more, and they argue and fight all the time now.
They hate that I ask them to help make a bottle or help wash some bottles.
It's been very hard on everyone.
I don't regret my baby for one minute but I didn't think the kids were going to take it so hard.
2006-07-31 09:23:27 · answer #2 · answered by ~SSIRREN~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you aren't "too old" :-) I would wait at least a year before getting pregnant. It will give you and your new family time to adjust as well as important time to focus on getting everyone as comfortable as possible with their new roles.
Family counseling might be a good idea too, especially with the ages of the kids involved. They are at an age where it can be more difficult to talk to Mom and they are probably feeling a bit "betrayed" by you taking a new husband.
I am NOT saying that you shouldn't have gotten married. I am just speaking from experience. My Mom re-married when I was 13 and it was very hard to deal with. Even the little thing, like her having a different last name bothered me.
I am also speaking as a mom that married a man with a son. Waiting a little while to have kids really helped me and my step son to have time to bond before adding the stress, and joys of a new baby.
Good luck.
2006-07-31 09:12:46 · answer #3 · answered by avonez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having another child/children is a personal choice and preference. my children are 16-14-10-7. i have been divorced from their father for almost 6 years. i remarried 3 years ago and we are now planning for another child/children. it took some time for my kids to get use to our new family unit when i remarried... my oldest children are JUST NOW really comfortable with him. i think that for the older children, hearing that we were planing on having a child made them realize that my relationship was stable and our family was perminent. all kids secretly hope that their parents reunite... i think my kids are past that now with a little help from our plans for a baby. i think letting the kids get use to my husband first was helpful... BUT, age becomes a factor too... i am battleing infertility issues (age 34) and we are going through an endocrinologist with artificial insemination... which may lead to invitro fertilization. IF YOU DECIDE TO WAIT, i just wanted you to realize there may be issues with fertility... no one ever told me... and i didn't think, being under 35, that it would be an issue... but it is. BEST OF LUCK TO YOU!
2006-07-31 09:26:15 · answer #4 · answered by JayneDoe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would probably wait a little while, at least, until your kids can adjust a little bit. make sure they understand that they are a part of you and your new husband's family. that way when you do have another baby they won't feel like you are trying to have a new family...they will just see it as an expansion of the family that they are already a part of.
it's tough, but if you and your husband really work at it, then you're kids will adjust. just show them tons of love from both of you and they will realize they have a family.
take care.
2006-07-31 09:10:19 · answer #5 · answered by joey322 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait a while to let them adjust, then I would talk to them about the prospect of having another baby and really spend some time having a conversation with them and your husband.
2006-07-31 09:08:10 · answer #6 · answered by Lax Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should try figuring out what's the issue with your 2 kids you already have before having more. Find out why they are upset and work out those kinks so they'll be happy when a new baby comes, rather than adding more work.
2006-07-31 09:08:01 · answer #7 · answered by acholtz@verizon.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have enough kids, but, if you consider this as an opportunity to make happy your husband, then you must wait until you are sure both of you make a good couple.
2006-07-31 09:11:06 · answer #8 · answered by Zaratustra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait for your kids to get used to your new husband first
2006-07-31 09:27:31 · answer #9 · answered by the four faced master 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's the remarriage that's hard on them, but if you have a baby - that will be their little brother or little sister and they'll love him or her with all their hearts.
I'd ask them how they feel about things but I would also do what's right for my new husband and I. After all, it will be your baby - not theirs.
2006-07-31 09:18:37 · answer #10 · answered by heaven25star 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋