I met a wonderful guy 2 weeks ago and found out that he’s legally separated and still living with his wife. She lost her job and has nowhere else to go, or at least that’s what he says. I really like him and I think that maybe it could go somewhere, but I can’t forget the fact that he is still married. Should I make this an issue and not date him, or is it not such a big deal?
2006-07-31 08:13:56 · 50 answers · asked by crystalglass_33 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if he was legally separated, working toward divorce, sure.
If he is still living with his wife - NO WAY. There is just no way for you to know if he is seriously trying to separate from his wife and being a nice guy, or if he is lying to you.
Unless you talk to his wife. Not that i am recommending that.
2006-07-31 08:19:05 · answer #1 · answered by nickipettis 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My husband was currently seperated from his wife when he and I started dating. The divorce papers were filed and pending. We didnt make it known to anyone else that we were "together" until after the divorce was final through the courts though.
However, I wouldn't get involved if she is still living with him. It just sounds like a sticky situation. Try being friends for a little while, go out with other friends together or something, until the divorce/seperation moves on.
Also, its my opinion that most "seperated" couples that still live together engage in casual hook ups with each other. At least thats what I have learned from past experiences. Good luck!
2006-07-31 08:18:34 · answer #2 · answered by bluedaboodee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is ok to date a legally separated man, especially if the divorce is in the works.
But, the part of the x still in the house can raise many questions. Also, it shows that he still might be more connected to her than he tells you.
She might not even know they are seperated. That happened to me once with a guy who actually lied ans siad his X lived near him with her parents. Yet, he talked a lot about the kids being there and also would cancel dates because he needed to drive his wife somewhere. He never gave me his home phone number which is the number one clue. I finally got him to admit that she lived in the same house that he did. He tried to convince me that they weren't in the same bed and they were getting divorced.
Only it never happened. Eventually I told him that I dind't think his wife knew they were even seperated let alone getting a divorce
He fnally admimted it to me.
Bewear......
2006-07-31 08:21:34 · answer #3 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Done that. It was a mistake. Getting over a marriage breaking up (no matter who decided to end it) is like dealing with a death. Even if they are truly split (and since they're living together, I'd be very suspicious about that), he's on the rebound and will be a bad risk for at least a year. That's fine if you just want to fool around, but you sound like you want a relationship. I would stay away from him.
2006-07-31 08:22:52 · answer #4 · answered by pag2809 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First check to make sure they are divorced. Second check to see if there are signs that they might still work it out. Them living together is not a good sign. Try talking to the "ex"- wife alone and finding out if they really are LEGALLY divorced.
If they are, and they do not intend on getting back together, then you can date him. Just be warned that this might not go so well.
2006-07-31 08:17:40 · answer #5 · answered by petlover948 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. He is separate, not divorced. His woman can be mad and take it over you. I would not take that risk dear. A jealous woman can be dangerous.
I think he is Lying to you, Men say a lot of lies just to have what they want. Find the house Phone number and talk to the wife. Ask her if what he says is true. If they are really separated she will tell you. She will probably tell you they have a happy life.
In my Opinion he just want to play games and you are giving him a chance to play with you. He will **** you and then kick you out of his life.
Some men are pigs. I think this is one in that category.
If he is really interesting on you he will move alone, get divorced and then date you. If not he just want to **** you and go away. Don't play his game. BE SMART GIRL. Do not let any one play with you feelings.
2006-07-31 08:16:13 · answer #6 · answered by divacobian 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was one of those guys that was legally separated, but, no one wanted to date a legally separated man for fear of him going back with his wife. I can understand their feelings, but, legally separated guys are trying to find someone also. It was not until I was legally divorced, that I truly tried to find another mate, and I did, married 7/4/06. I had a couple of "women" friends that I went out with, just so that I could go out with somebody. We had good times going out as friends. We knew we were not for each other, but we both needed time out. Good Luck!
2006-07-31 08:41:55 · answer #7 · answered by icemountian8 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about the state you live in but where I live if you are LIVING TOGETHER then you can NOT be legally seperated. You must live apart to be legally seperated here and if you move back intogether at any time during that seperation or while the divorce is pending then you have to start all over again.
2006-07-31 09:09:49 · answer #8 · answered by Red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! Seperated people are still dealing with many relationship & financial issues. Better to date someone who has been divorced for several years and has settled down into their real self.
P.S. doesn't sound like this guy is telling the truth.
2006-07-31 08:20:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not really a big deal if you want to date him. But it is kinda odd she still lives with him. If they're separated, she should be moved out...who cares if she has a place to go? As long as there aren't kids in the picture, and they're not together, and he wants to date, he's gonna have to put her out. How does he expect to date, and bring his dates home if she's there??? I'd probably not sweat it and move on to my next victim...he's still got dirty laundry at home.
2006-07-31 08:20:58 · answer #10 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋