my bf of 2 years is acting pretty weird. when we're on the phone he has NOTHING to say.. he doesn't call me back when i call him or leave a message, he never sounds to happy to hear from me, and its really getting to me. my aunts wedding is this sat and the following day im going on vacation and he hasn't even tried to make time and come and see me. in his words.... "we've been apart longer then this, I'll just see you when you get back, it doesn't matter? whats with him. I end up going to sleep without hearing i love you or a goodnight frm him so many nights.. what should i do ?
2006-07-31 08:10:38 · 23 answers · asked by <33 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
and everytime i ask him if hes ok or whats wrong he just tells me hes fine and nothing is wrong
2006-07-31 08:22:21 · update #1
Poor thing...
He's probably interested in someone else. But if you want to try to fix things carefully and gently do the following:
1. Call him once a day and NO MORE. Be upbeat when you talk and act like he's not being all weird. Don't even ask "what's wrong with you?" Just ask him about HIS day. How is HE doing? Say "I love you and I'll talk to you later" and don't call back. Do it in the middle of the evening so it won't be so hard for you. If he doesn't answer leave a message and don't call back. Sound really happy and smiling when every you talk to him.
2. As hard as it may be to do this, when and if he does call you make the conversation about him mostly just like # 1. Be interested in what he has to say. But end the conversation BEFORE he does. Don't let there be any dry or quite moments. You have more important things to do than to sit there listening to him breathe on the the other end. Even if you have nothing to do, make him think you're busy.
3. Go somewhere with people. Socialize and mingle so that you can fill the void he once occupied. Even if its temporary, do it. That way your upbeat attitude will be genuine and you'll feel better. Can't beat that.
Not calling alot makes him wonder what's going on with you and may provoke him to call. Keep it simple. Men need a challenge. He needs to know that you have a life outside of worrying about problems with him. Don't even acknowledge his bad attitude. Unless you think he's really going thru something unrelated to the relationship, in which case you let him know that you're there if he needs you. Being interested in him does something for his ego. Can't go wrong there. And occupying your time keeps your mind off things, lets him know that you DO have a life and opens the door for a new fellow to walk into, in case things don't look up. If none of this works, its a wrap. Leave him alone.
Smooches!
2006-07-31 08:27:28 · answer #1 · answered by puuurfect_kitty_kat 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say but it sounds like he may want to move on or be having thoughts of it. Depending how old you are matters a lot. If you're still in high school he may want to see what other girls are like. Another possibility is that some kind of family problem may be going on. Ask him if he still wants to be with you and if he says yes then ask him if he needs some space. He may just be getting scared of being "tied down" or he may be dealing with problems that his parents are going through. I know that when I was 16 my now husband and I were together all the time and I started to feel as if I was suffocating like I had no friends and was missing out on other high school things. Well we had a couple of weeks where we didn't talk very much maybe once a week for ten minutes and after that we wanted each other again. Now six years later we have three kids and are happy to be "tied down". Good luck with everything.
2006-07-31 15:16:57 · answer #2 · answered by Young Mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't really tell you what to do. You should know that better From a guy's viewpoint he may be tired of you. You need to ask him about that. If that is the case you need to find someone who actually values you. It could also be one of two things, he may feel secure with you and no longer has that "clingy" feeling and can trust you do do your thing with-ought him or he really doesn't care. Just depends, really need more info to tell you whats going on. How far away is he that he needs to make time to see you? How long have you been apart? How old are each of you? Has this happened before? What did this use to be like? Something like that.
2006-07-31 15:22:39 · answer #3 · answered by Bill F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's trying to get you to make the move and break up with him. It's a time-honored device used by both males and females to get out of a relationship that they no longer want without the other person throwing a big emotional scene.
2006-07-31 15:15:59 · answer #4 · answered by pessimoptimist 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing for you to do is get him to talk...best to do this in person to see his expressions and really get a sense of whats going on with him. BUT like us girls - we like to spill our hearts out to our boyfriends, tell them everything thats been bothering us, and guys are not that way. Ask him whats been going on with him...wait for an answer - it will take time for most guys. Guy dont like talking about their feelings in order to not sound weak or sensitive. You dont need to be emotional about this even though its been hurtful to you. If he sees that you just want the plain simple answer hopefully he will give it up. sometimes after you've been with someone for over a couple years - a guy goes through a period where he might think about wanting more space...its up to him to figure out if thats what he wants and needs. you just gotta either be there and let him know if thats what he wants - because you love him youll give him what he needs...but if you feel as though its heading towards a breakup - you gotta know yourself and realize you will be okay. just get him to open up - dont force it! dont bug him to answer but wait patiently for him to do so!
2006-07-31 15:17:32 · answer #5 · answered by sweetrees420 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kind of sounds bad, as in he doesnt want to be with you or maybe he just needs a break for awhile, give him the same treatment, dont call him before you leave or while your on vacation and see what he has to say when you get back, maybe he wants to break up but doesnt have the balls
2006-07-31 15:12:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain how you feel. Tell him that he seems to be pushing you away and if he wants to end it to just be a man and get it over with. There are a lot of guys out there and you deserve one that's man enough to be straight with you.
If he doesn't want to end it, talking to him about this will make him realize that he'd be step up if he doesn't want to lose you!
2006-07-31 15:17:11 · answer #7 · answered by Sara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems as though he has found someone on the side. If he continues to act this way, then I would ask him what the problem is. If you notice that he wants to continue to pick a fight or something like that, then it is time to move on. Good luck
2006-07-31 15:15:55 · answer #8 · answered by bicheeeened30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should avoid him for a while. He is either feeling smothered, or he needs a break. I know it is hard to do, but let him come to you. If he calls on you, then he wants to see you, if he doesn't, you'll have to accept it and move on. remember, the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. Hang tough.
2006-07-31 15:16:06 · answer #9 · answered by Jim Alley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say but you need to move on he obviously has another girl on the side and doesn't want to tell you or wants you to get the hint...there are plenty of men out there find another sorry to put it so blunt but its reality
Good Luck
2006-07-31 15:14:16 · answer #10 · answered by Jo3-Jo3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋