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The whole process has taken about 12 years, to get this bad. To put it in a nut shell, my parents rarely even talk to each other any more, Ive lost count of the arguments, and constant bickering etc etc....
To me this sounds awful but its kind of a sigh of relif, it will be sad but I think Im more relived. Im an only child, never been very close to my Dad. Is this a terrible thing to think? (Im 21 and not living at home anymore)

2006-07-31 08:06:59 · 12 answers · asked by Dinky 1 in Family & Relationships Family

12 answers

I found it to be a horrible experience for the whole family.
But, I can understand your relief. You don't have to listen to all the BS anymore.
Sounds like your were like mine. It didn't matter if there were kids present or not, as long as they could get their jabs out at each other.
NO, it's not a terrible thing to think. You didn't say that you didn't love him, just that you were never really close. So, it's pretty natural to feel that way.
Don't let it get you down. You're way to young to be worrying about it. Let them work it out between themselves. And, if you are closer to your mother, just be there for her.
Good luck with everything !

2006-07-31 08:17:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

I was five when my parents split up. I didn't really understand it at the time. But I know how you feel about the terrible thing to think- my dad was putting a lot of strain on the family and it was kind of a relief to get him out of the house. I'm in my teens now and very relieved my parents are no longer together. However, it was still a hard process as they used to fight a lot, almost always over stuff about me. They don't fight anymore, but still bad-talk each other, A LOT. When I was young, I used to hide behind a chair while they were fighting but I don't really have that option anymore.

2006-07-31 08:11:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous 3 · 0 0

I'm 17 and currently going through the same thing...with some additional problems...but it's taken 6 years for someone to finally say this is bull****. Since it's taken so long...I am kind of relieved, like you said. Except, I am not an only child and have two younger brothers to look after. Personally, I don't care what goes on between my parents anymore. My only job is to protect my brothers. I guess I've toughened up these past 6 years...lol

2006-07-31 08:13:32 · answer #3 · answered by flod_prfekshun 3 · 0 0

I think you're lucky to be older. Mine split up repeatedly when I was growing up and it was dreadful. I'll never forgive my parents for what they put us through. They used us as pawns, resented us, fought over us, and were so busy with their lives they didn't care they were ruining ours too.
They eventually divorced when I was in my 20's. I was really angry - they'd settled down by then when we'd all left home. My father met someone else who said that my mother should have fought for him. She probably would have, if they'd bothered to tell her. Anyway, my father walked out and left my mother in a financial mess, alone, older and frightened of the future. She was bitter and vengeful. My father and his new love did their best to see she was destitute - my father was well off and he put everything in his new girlfriends name, before the divorce. Got himself declared bankrupt. It was all very spiteful and horrible. I hope your mum has an easier time.

2006-07-31 08:16:21 · answer #4 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0 0

I was very glad when my parents spilt up, but it was a completely different situation. My mother was depressed a lot, was too immature to take care of her children, and my father was on a submarine 6 months out of a year. He often cheated on her with our babysitters, and said all sorts of mean things to her that she just took. When he was discharged from the navy he dragged the whole family out to Arizona to live with his parents, and when my second sister (third child) was born, he tired to 'take' her, wouldn't let my mom hold her or anything.

Then he got another girlfriend, but this one was fat, ugly, and mean-tempered, with 5 children almost grown. My mother was thin and beautiful, but couldn't hold her own against the man she was so sure she loved. Thankfully my mother got some balls and kicked him out at that and asked her mother to come from Florida to live with us. Now she's found a great man and they're married. My father is in jail and dragged the huge girlfriend and all her children into poverty with the lawyers bills.

So was very happy when they split, I never liked him anyway. And thankfully, by the time he gets out of jail, my youngest sister won't remember him at all, creep that he was.

And it's not wrong to be relieved that your parents don't talk, if when they talk they fight. There's nothing wrong with what you feel at all.

2006-07-31 08:15:58 · answer #5 · answered by Ember 3 · 0 0

I was 13, it didn't feel that bad at the time, but as i got to 18, 19 and was starting to make mistakes in life it would of been nice to have had my mother to lean on... I blame a lot of my early mistakes on the lack of guidance and love from my family... of course they could of still given this in divorce but they were too bitter with each other..

2006-07-31 08:18:28 · answer #6 · answered by engineer 4 · 0 0

I am sorry for you, as I imagine if you marry you would want them both there....When I went through my divorce, It was the kids who suffered, I wanted the new bloke dead, however as time went on things have mellowed, I even drink with her new guy, he is OK but it took time....I hope for your sake that your Mom and Dad can be friends, life is so much easier for the kids, my eldest is 25...If I could turn the clock back I would, but you can't, I hope things work out, just because you are 21 it still mus get to you.......

2006-07-31 08:19:37 · answer #7 · answered by peter_bain2003 3 · 0 0

I felt sad. I was very young then. i never even knew anythng about such things. one time i felt my father became disloyal to Mom even though i never even knew what disloyal was. and so i just dismissed it. i would have told her had i known. but anyway they split up and it's still hard for me but it's all in the past now. i can't keep on blaming him forever. i've been trying to forgive him and for him to forgive me in some way even though i won't be able to tell him personally anymore. maybe someday, or in my dreams... i dunno... i'll just let God and time heal the pain.

2006-07-31 08:19:13 · answer #8 · answered by Iya 3 · 0 0

Mine seperated when I was 26, and apart from trying not to get drawn into their bickering it was a relief.

They are both now far happier!

2006-07-31 08:13:59 · answer #9 · answered by 'Dr Greene' 7 · 0 0

it was a temporary seperation. eventually mom tried to fight back for her home and thot it was just right to settle for dads desire to get what she wanted. it did not work out aany way and u know the kids got the hottest part of it all. we had to grow up faster than required to make ends meet. it was not funny ofcourse.

2006-07-31 12:01:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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