I love my friend, and I really like to spend time with her. We talk about everything, and do everything together. However, her young son's behavior is so out of control. What is even more alarming is that when he throws a fit and they get into a fight, she gives in or buys him whatever he wants. She will go over the top with threatening him with a spanking or some other empty promise (which I think she only does because I am there). It is embarassing to be in public or at a restraunt and be the group that is making everyone else uncomfortable. The other problem is that I have a child too, but she is still a baby. I am afraid that eventually I will have to cut all ties with my friend because I do not want my child to be around a child with this explosive (and sometimes violent) behavior, and see that he gets away with it. I don't want to be in a position where she gets in trouble and he gets away with the very same thing.
2006-07-31 08:04:27 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You just need to come out and express the way you feel
2006-08-03 01:38:33 · answer #1 · answered by K SHINE 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth, if she's as good a friend as you say she is, she'll listen. Don't be rude about it, but tell her that you're concerned for her and him both. If she gets offended, blows up or whatever, and walks away, let her. Why do you need to go on being miserable because of a childs bad behavior? I've had to end a few relationships because I couldn't stand to be around my friends kids. That's a darn shame too if you think about it.
Maybe suggest a parenting class to her? Some of us weren't raised with the best parental role models if you know what I mean. You are entitled to your feelings just as well as she is. I wold suggest asking her for her time where it can be just you two and then having a heart to heart. If you just let it go, it will only get worse believe me...and then you'll end up blowing her off and it will become drama. Honesty really is the best policy, you find out who your true friends are this way. I wish you the best!
2006-07-31 09:21:37 · answer #2 · answered by dixi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had the very same experience. That is a hard one because everyone is sensitive about there kids. No one can deal with hearing there kids are little brats let alone that the way you deal with your kids makes them little brats. I have 2 different girlfriends that I do not agree with the way they deal with there kids or the way their kids act and I had to just distance myself from them. Things change and when you have kids sometimes your Friends have to change too because when your baby gets older they will act like what they see. It is hard but I could not watch my friends raise there kids in that way. It is not like I am perfect but I would never let my son hang out with a kid that cusses at his mom or hang around a mom that lets her son cuss at her. Many things I do not agree with so it is hard but it is really what do you want your child to see and learn.
2006-08-01 10:24:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think, no matter which way you approach this, she's going to be offended. But you can either start not hanging out with her unless it's just you and her or you can tell her about it.
If you say anything to her, she will probably resent it. But then again, maybe she knows he's a problem and has no idea what to do about it. Who knows.
You'll probably end up losing her as a friend no matter what. It's sad, but that's probably what will happen.
2006-07-31 08:31:07 · answer #4 · answered by braks_gurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that story is way too familiar!
thats very hard i went through the same situation
he would throw a fit or act up
there were times he even choked his mom and i had to pull him off her
anyways its hard but i just told her you have to do something
because he is out of control and gonna get worse
she said spanking him didnt work and i said you have to find something that does
i told her i love you and your son to death but he shouldnt be acting this way when i babysit him he wouldnt do that with me,he tried but when i told him he better not he knew i was serious
i also told my friend you have to follow through with what you tell him your gonna do or he will top taking you seriously
finally my friend found out her son loves playstaion
so when he acts up she takes it out of his room and it works!
if you have a questions or anything email me
good luck
i know how you feel , its not an easy situation to be in
2006-07-31 08:17:38 · answer #5 · answered by crystal h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you talk about everything and anything tell her that it pains you to say something but you can't hold it in any more ..and tell her what wrong and maybe help her solve the problem with her unrulely child...or just stop doing the "out stuff" and "stay in" untill he settles down..be the friend and tell her
2006-07-31 08:18:58 · answer #6 · answered by Ken and Wendy M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just had this problem somewhat. I put her daughter in time out. I explained to my friend (whom always comes to my house) that I will not let other children do things I dont allow my children to do in thier home. She was fine with it. After that we where talking one night, and she told me she wants to start making her kids mind as well as mine do.
2006-08-01 18:56:06 · answer #7 · answered by Robin i 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋