to the hospital. & he told me all kinds of bad stuff about Ray*. ( He was saying he didn't care about me, his family didn't care about me, & he didn't want me ever seeing my boyfriend again & he wasn't allowed to see me or the baby, when it was born.)
I'm feed up & stressed with all this, I don't know what to do. Should I move out, or..should I just stay away for a while to give him time to breathe? & Is there anyway I could move out legally, since I'm only 17?
2006-07-31 07:59:42 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
i think u could move out, and ur pregnant with ur bfs baby, u could tell the cops he stresses u and ur afrid for ur babys life
2006-07-31 08:02:52 · answer #1 · answered by Victoria 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too bad dad doesn't recognize that your hormones are raging and you are seeing things in a different light, on top of probably not feeling the most comfortable. I suggest you stay. Do you really want to try to do all the early baby-raising by yourself? Do you have the time and energy to get into court and be declared an "emancipated minor" so you can be legally responsible for yourself? Do you have the money to get started in your own place until you can get social services to help you out financially. I know it is not the best situation, but stay put. Try to remove yourself from the room before an argument starts. Remember, this is probably stressful for your father as well. He is worried. If he says things like that again, Just say "I am sorry you see it that way, I think I need to go lay down" and go.
2006-07-31 15:05:41 · answer #2 · answered by jboatright57 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well as soon as you have the baby. youre generally considered legally emancipated.
You might need to get a job. Its really your call on the moving thing, but if you feel unsafe, then you should leave. Maybe you could stay with your boyfriend for a while, if thats an option.
Your father is being emotionally abusive and controlling, so you will need to get away from him, at the very least not live with him, or allow him to babysit, or to be alone with your baby. Hes using your baby to keep the boyfriend away from you, and he could do that later on, also. Sometimes people go so far as to kidnap or actually get physically violent to the point that they kill.
Try calling the domestic Violence national hotline:
http://www.ndvh.org/
1-800-799-SAFE
And they can help you to get to a safe place, temporarily, and help you to get into some cheaper housing and stuff, also. This IS abuse, and you dont want your dad to hurt your baby, sweetheart, so get the hell out of there, please.
Call that number, and they will give you a good idea for what to pack, and how to get out safely.
Remember all your IDs, birth certificate, Social Security Card, any bank cards you have, prescriptions, a few changes of clothes, and some basic hygiene stuff. It might help to have a few bucks on hand, also. Bring a set of housekeys with you, also, and the title of your car, and registration and all that, if you can.
You need to get away from your dad right now. My best friend got pregnant at the age of 15, and had a similar problem with her parents, including physical violence, and she moved out within days, and hasnt moved back, since. Shes also been much more successful than her parents were, and is much happier with her life now. She graduated valedictorian, and now has a bachelors degree, and a mortgage. (Her parents never went to college, and never had a mortgage) Believe me, you can do it.
Good luck!
2006-07-31 15:03:08 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ Krista ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to hear things of this nature but for one at 17, if you're pregnant and you and the boyfriend aren't emotionally and financially ready to take care of the baby, then your dad is probably stressed because he already knows his grandpa role will turn more into the dad role. It's no excuse for him to show out on you because you could go into preterm labor (labor before 37 weeks) and Black women are more prone to this. If you all aren't working or don't have any plans or money saved, then your dad isn't gonna sit by and watch his grandkid starve or go without diapers, medicine and doctor's visits so he's probably vexed about having to help out. It's not really the grandparents responsibility to help out the way most of them do, some even got to the extent of raising their grandkids for their children. But your dad can't forbid your boyfriend from seeing his child, if he's the biological parent, he has legal rights to see his child, you can't stop him either. Moving out may only make matters worse if you have no plans and no money. Not being married, even so being married is not a guarantee that you and this guy will stay together. Daddy might be the only one you can count on in the end. But if you and the boyfriend are serious about raising your family on your own there are emancipations that can legally divorce you from your parents. At 17, you can wait a few more months until you turn 18 though to make legal decisions on your own without court intervention. I, however, did have my own car and apartment in my name at 17, some people feel sorry for you when you're in certain situations but I showed them responsibility so they took a chance on me and I didn't let them down. Think about all your options before you make a move, if your dad is usually an approachable person, talk to him once he cools off and see where it goes from there.
2006-07-31 15:11:00 · answer #4 · answered by duvaldiva.com 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is not the time for your dad to go crazy on you but just remember that it's all very hard for a father to see their baby girl preg. at such a young age. Your a child yourself trust me it's hard out there it's not as easy as one thinks. If you can work out things with your dad try to stay at home till you can really do it by yourself because you don't want to depend on your babies father 100% either. Remember, you can't trust a men 100% (same goes for us women). Now honestly, does your father have a reason to be saying those things about Ray? I know noone is perfect. Just don't stay with the babies father because your having a baby. Trust me, your baby will suffer the consequences in the long run..In the end, you have to become an adult and start thinking like one because your baby is going to need someone strong and stable.I wish you the best of luck..
2006-07-31 15:17:23 · answer #5 · answered by Strawberry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your dad is taking it pretty hard that his baby girl is pregnant. Its nice that you are understanding enough to realize he may need some breathing room, and honestly you prolly do too. Tell him that you want to give him some space and that you need some space as well. Go stay with another family member or a friend for a little while. As for the boyfriend...just make sure you take control of your situation. Get Medicaid, get WIC, get foodstamps if you need them. It is hard to raise a baby at a young age, but it is well worth it. Be careful, Be safe, good luck, and God Bless.
2006-07-31 15:29:45 · answer #6 · answered by bbgrl39 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can legally move out when your 16 but that might be difficult especially since you've got a kid on the way. you should try to get your dad to calm down somehow. you might want to give him some breathing room but if u come back and it's exactly the same you might consider finding somewhere else to stay.
2006-07-31 15:04:10 · answer #7 · answered by talktome 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
parents do silly things when they are upset- move to a friends for a while- your baby is also your bf's so he legal can see it and there is nothing legal your father can do about that---- get it on paper with the cops that he stressed you out that you do want your bf to be involved so that they can point you in the right direction to get help and get both you and your bf on track for being parents----- what state r u in??? i think if you are working and can prove that its in your best interest to be on your own----in many states
best of luck
larry- i hope your real parents know how lucky they are that they put you up for adoption----- your completly insensitive! what is right for one person may not be right for anouther
young parents do manage to raise great children-----live happly and do well for themselves and their children.....i have 2 adopted friends one hates it and recently found his real parents- and asked y they would throw away the chance to raise him...the other could care less because he thinks of his adoptive parents as his real parents
2006-07-31 15:07:49 · answer #8 · answered by greeneyedmommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wonderful. Your father ALMOST raised his children and now he has to start all over again instead of living his life?
When you have children, your whole life is put "on hold"- no vacations, or 3 day trips at the best, unless you're rich.
Now your father has do to it all over again.
Want to do the RIGHT THING? Put the baby up for adoption.
2006-07-31 15:04:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋