-If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
-When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
-If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
-When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
-Why do they put Braille on Drive-Up ATM machines?
-If a cat always lands on it's feet, and toast always lands butter side down, what happens when you tie a piece of toast to a cats back?
-Why is bra singular and panties plural?
-If the product says "Do not use if seal is broken", how are you
supposed to open it and use it?
-If Peanut Butter cookies are made from peanut butter, what are
Girl Scout cookies made of?
-When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
-What was going through the mind of the first person ever to pull on a cow's udder?
-Why call it "take" a dump, when you leave something behind? (Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?)
-If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
2006-07-31 07:58:34 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
-Does it really count in court when an atheist is sworn in under oath using a Bible?
-Remember, the early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
-You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that work nights?
-When something's funny why is it called a "knee-slapper" when you actually slap your thigh?
-Why is it that when we are humming and then we plug our nose, our humming stops? Do people really hum through their nose, or their mouths?
-Why do they put Canadian bacon on Hawaiian Pizza?
-If your named Will and you are in the army do you get worried when people say fire at will?
-If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
-If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
-If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound?
-If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery?
2006-07-31 08:01:58 · update #1
If olive oil is made out of olives, and vegetable oil is made out of vegetables...what is baby oil made out of?
2006-07-31 11:54:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
-If a smart bomb was so damn smart would it really blow itself up when dropped on a warzone?
-And answer me this all of you who have worked graveyard shift and stopped at Walmart after work for somthing will attest to this: Why the hell do customers at Walmart at 4am look like they belong in the Monty Python Ministry of Silly Walks?
2006-07-31 08:38:47 · answer #2 · answered by Pale Rider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good ones. Who is that? George Carlin? Sounds like George Carlin.
2006-07-31 08:03:47 · answer #3 · answered by 5ladderjob 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
-why do they say a refridgerator is running..when its standing still
-sweat like a pig.....pigs dont sweat
-why do they say glued to the TV..when ya are just watching it
-squeel like a pig....they snort
-pantyhose...all ya see are legs not the panty part
-why do they call a bathroom a head...shouldnt it be a butt room
2006-07-31 08:08:59 · answer #4 · answered by legendary~cool 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about some good oximorons? like military intelligence, jumbo shrimp, microsoft works
2006-07-31 08:06:42 · answer #5 · answered by bugmagnent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If Wal-mart is always lowering prices, how come nothing is free yet?
2006-07-31 08:16:58 · answer #6 · answered by Von Kempelen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you buy a pair of jeans?
2006-07-31 08:03:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thanks! You made me laugh til I snorted!
Note to legendary*cool: Pigs snort most of the time, but they squeal when they're scared.
2006-07-31 08:17:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly, I don't know the answers, my friend, but thanks for well-needed mid-day laugh!
2006-07-31 08:04:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋