Question for Christians/Open Minded people to answer about homosexuals?

Question

ok so I have a question that I know is kind of hard to answer but i really need advice. So here i go...
My dad left about 2.5-3 years ago because he said that he's gay. So lately my sister and I have been getting together with just him (not with his partner). I have gotten together once and met his partner. I havent gotten together with both of them in like a year. So anyways... My mom is completely opposed to me getting together with both of them because she says that he is trying to bribe us to only do fun things is we get together with both of them (which he does do). He suggests to do fun things but we can only do them if his partner comes with. I feel that I should love both of them even though I know that what they are doing is a sin and I do have fun with them when I get together with both of them, but am I accepting/supporting that lifestyle by getting together a lot with them. Am I risking my faith by doing this. Am I wrong in doing this? Please Help if you can. advice/ answers would be greatly appreciated

I have talked to my dad about feeling uncomfortable about everything with the bribery and getting together with both of them. He gets really defensive with me and usually respects it for a short period of time then its back to the beginning.

Also, getting together with my dad isn't whats really really bothering me, its whether or not i should be getting together with his partner also (both of them). ??

Answer 1

Speaking as a Catholic, I would say that it's OK to visit with your father and his partner, but it's not OK to acknowledge any validity to their relationship. If you and your dad's partner call each other by first names and there is no hint of any stepparent-stepchild relationship, spending time with them is probably the most loving and Christian thing to do. Be careful around them, though, as their lifestyle is not something to emulate.

Answer 2

Your Dad has put you in a tuff situation. I would say, since you love your Dad, talk to him about it. Does he know that you think his lifestyle is sinful? If it makes you uncomfortable to be around his partner, he should not make that a condition of doing "fun things" with him.
Can you love and accept him for who he is, knowing that we have all sinned? Does he love you enough to spend time with you, without forcing you to accept his lifestyle and/or his partner? You need to consider both questions carefully.
Your Mom isn't helping with her insinuations, but is there a chance that she might be right? Remember that your Dad left her for a man...that has to be hard on the old ego. Of course, he left his daughters, too, could be she is trying to protect you. Could your Dad be holding out bribes to get you to accept something that makes you uncomfortable? If you feel he is doing that, you ought to tell him how you feel and ask him not to do that to you.
Love your Dad for who he is, but don't let him push his lifestyle onto you. On the other hand, don't let your Mom put a wedge between the two of you.
Stand up for what YOU believe!

Answer 3

Your dad is trying to be the best parent he can, and so is your mother. This is a legal matter and has to do with custody and visitation restrictions. If you're old enough to understand (usually around 13), you can ask what the restrictions are legally. It may be that your dad can have anyone he wants to join you on your time spent with him. It may also be against the law, depending on the judge's order.

Regarding the sin issue: This is your father. You do not have to have an opinion either way about his behavior at any other time except what he does when he is with you. Let yourself be a daughter: honor your father and your mother, and let God do the deciding about whether or not things are sinful. However, it's not a sin for you to go to an amusement park with your father. It's not a sin to love someone.

Answer 4

Great question, and I'm sorry for the distress this must be causing in your life.

First, don't sweat Mom, remember she's got a lot of personal stuff wrapped up in this that is NOT your stuff.

Second, how important to you is your relationship with your Dad? If it's real important then you become the big person and learn to love him for who he is (even if you personally find it objectionable).

Third, Jesus spent time with ALL kinds of people, some of them he corrected, while others he just set a good example for. So, don't worry about your eternal soul simply because you choose to love someone, rather than judge them. That's the compassionate Jesus path.

Fourth, if your Dad is making you do things with people that makes you uncomfortable, then tell him immediately, and don't back down. If he's really into creating and maintaining a meaningful relationship with you, then he needs to be respectful of you and your effort, rather than trying to force you into accepting something or someone you are not ready for.

I hope this helps.

Answer 5

You should not allow anyone, including your mother to make you feel guilty for wanting to know and love the close people in your life. By being a part of your father's life you are showing him that you love him unconditionally. Whether you accept or support their lifestyle is irrelevant. You accept and support your father and that is what matters most. Christians are called upon to love the sinner and hate the sin. It is not being a homosexual that is a sin, it is the actual act. In any case, your father's sin is between him and God, not you or his partner, or your mother or anyone else. In any case, you, your friends and your mother are all sinners. Do you question whether you should hang out with your friends, mother, sister? No, probably not. Support your father and his partner. Hang out with them so long as everyone is comfortable. Believe me, your father loves you even though he knows you sin every day too. One sin is not worse than another. Sin is sin and sin is to be left to the committer of the sin and God alone.

Answer 6

No, I think that being close to your dad could not possibly be a sin. I doubt that there is any god that would punish you for loving the person that gave you life. On the other side, refusing to love that same person, at least in my opinion, is something that would be frowned upon by a god. I think that it is just plain silly that religions ostracize people for being gay when they are people that also love and care for others. In my humble opinion, you should see your father with open arms and love him as much or more than when he was with your mother. Having come out of the closet must have been hard for him and having the love and support of those that, like you, are his loved ones can only help him. Don't leave your dad stranded, I seriously think that any god would be as selfish as to wish something like that.

Answer 7

You need to walk in forgiveness toward your dad & his friend. Your mom is right about the reward your dad gives if you accept Him in his iniquity. It is a trap set. Love your dad when He is your dad. When He isn't & is being the essence of gay in his iniquity do not participate in that iniquity. Let dad know you believe it is wrong & cannot participate & that you love him as your dad.

Your dad is a sinner needing a saviour. He has never confessed Jesus Christ His Lord & Saviour & believed in the remission of his sins by Christ's shed blood & in the resurrection. This is where your dad is at.

You are walking a tight rope. Your faith is at risk if you don't trust & obey God. Build your most holy faith by praying in your spirit to God (Honestly from the heart) about your dad. Find the joy in the spirit through faith for the right direction on how to show your dad your love for him yet not accept a sinful lifestyle as righteous.

God bless you special with Godly discernment.

Answer 8

Tough one...

Your dad gets to be the fun parent, your mom does the actual parenting and it's hard for her. He left her for another man; that alone is a difficult situation. He has chosen the homosexual lifestyle. As you know, this is an abomination to God (the sin, not the sinner). You may want to re-read that, chosen as in a choice.

I think it's wrong for your dad to attach strings to whatever it is you will be doing with him. He's trying to force his sinful lifestyle on you and your sister.

You mom is a smart lady, I'd continue getting advice from her.

I'm glad your dad wants visitation, that's great.

Your question, "Am I risking my faith?" You know the answer to this, if you are accepting of one person sins, why not accept all people and their sins?

"Are you wrong in doing this?" Sounds like your heart is telling you the answer..."yes." When you condone a sin, it will harden your heart to that sin. If it's okay for dad to live a homosexual lifestyle then its "ok" for others to do it also, when you know in your heart is not right and it is a sin.

I again, would suggest talking with your mom, she loves you and wants what is best for you. Why you think he's not making better choices?

What about talking with your pastor, minister, priest, etc? It would be wise for you to find Christian counseling on this to help clear up some issues.

Grace to you and God Bless!

P.S. If you'd like to IM me, you are welcome to do so. Also, below you will find a web address, you can get free tapes there and wouldn't you know it; there's a series on homosexuality.

Answer 9

You need to look at the person and decide if these are people that are worthy for you to spend time with and get to know. If you enjoy the company of your Dad's partner and you basically think and feel he is a good person then go have a good time with both of them. This does not mean that you accept their lifestyle or that you are compromising your values, it simply means that you are accepting of other people for who they are and not what they represent. Look beyond the prejudice and what is deemed "acceptable" by society and/or religion, look in your own heart and the heart of others.

Answer 10

In a lot of divorces, one parent doesnt like the children with the other parent because they spoil them with fun things. This is pretty normal even when there is no homosexuality involved. You can still love your father, of course, you dont HAVE to love his partner if you dont want to. I think your mom would feel the same way if your father had a female partner too but using him being gay is convenient. If you are fond of his partner then thats fine too but just dont let your mom think you love them more than her.