I am having trouble keeping my family from putting me in the middle of their issuus with my fiancee. I have told them in the past to take their problems with him to him. He's an adult he can handle it. I do not need to be put in the middle because that causes hostility between my fiancee and my family and stresses me out. how else can you tell someone that they are the one's driving a wedge between me and the family.
2006-07-31 07:49:38 · 6 answers · asked by Curtrina L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have gone to my family for those who think I haven't. Because I know he is the one I want to be with I try my hardest to get them to see that he is not some city thug that is trying to mess over me. we have been together for almost 3 years we have a little one year old daughter together. He takes care of her all day by himself goes to work at night so I can continue school and the job I love. And he has changed all his habits and ways just so he would not loose me. He has camled down wants to move into a better neighborhood, pursue his own dreams and ambitions and make a better life for his daughter and future wife. This issue is the only reason we have not gotten married we dont want some huge fall out at our wedding. My sisters all but one and father and brother have no problems with him its just my mother and my oldest sister who have all the issues with everything he does and I do. I recently told my sister not to come around with her boyfriends any more and she blames him for it
2006-07-31 08:05:26 · update #1
Its not his choice its mine. she has a new man every other week and its not wise to allow some stranger she doesnt even know get too close to my daughter and I never wanted to cutt my sister off in the first place but her feelings are not my first priority anymore . Its my daughters well being and my own. My fiancee understands that I just want them to do the same. Instead of punishing me for taking care of me and my family first and not them anymore. I have a new family now.
2006-07-31 08:07:45 · update #2
Put your foot down, let them know you love them all, but you will not be put in the middle of their issues. They may all have a valid point to not agree. Your family obviously loves you and feels the need to protect you, Unless your fiance is a threat to you in anyway, let it be known you are the one marring him, not them and to kindly keep you out of it.
2006-07-31 07:59:22 · answer #1 · answered by Poptart 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like it or not, you ARE in the middle and should be. After all, he is your fiance, not theirs. You are part of the family, he isn't and unless things improve, probably shouldn't be. You didn't describe the nature of their complaints, but I can tell you from experience that if your family doesn't like him, there will never be a moment's peace as long as you two are together. No family get-togethers over the Holidays, no picnics, parties, baby showers, nothing will occur without rancor. Good luck.
I have to ask...are you absolutely sure he is the right one? If there is any doubt in your mind, then there is no doubt.
2006-07-31 07:56:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like it or not, you are in the middle. If I were your fiance, I'd feel abandoned and overmatched. He can't afford to tick off your family because he wants to be with you. And, you've said you don't want to hear about it. So, unless he's being a jerk to them, you need to tell them that he is your man and that they can help you make your relationship work or they can get lost.
2006-07-31 07:55:12 · answer #3 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to have to get real blunt and tell them like it is. When they start in, stop them and tell them "what part of you do not want to hear this" don't they understand? Perhaps they would prefer you to be with someone who acts just like them? The only person they need to worry about is themselves.
2006-07-31 08:13:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not his place to deal with your family - it's yours. If they have a problem with him, it's your problem to solve. For him to go to them only causes more hard feelings between them and him. If you're stressed out and can't deal with them, break it off with him and find someone of whom your family approves.
2006-07-31 07:54:07 · answer #5 · answered by Lex 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the same way you just put it out here
2006-07-31 07:53:43 · answer #6 · answered by ndnyabl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋