Over the past week, my girlfriend (fiancee) and i have been having problems. We broke up on wednesday, and then made up but only remained as friends. Last night, she was telling me that she was maybe wanting to take a break because that is what she was used to in all her other relationships, but that is not what she wanted. She has been having problems with her parents over me (not because they do not like me but because i have secrets from my parents that they do not like), and now she may be wanting to take a permanent break. Neither of us want this, but i seem to be handling this completely wrong. What can i do to repair the damage that has been done?
2006-07-31 07:46:09 · 11 answers · asked by pilotmanitalia 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are reaching a dangerous stage.
This is the reason why you SHOULD NEVER crawl at her feet but, on the contrary make her understand that she needs you more than she thinks. This why you need to project an image of both dignity and self-control
In order to achieve this all you have to do is to turn yourself into a challenge. Concentrate on your work, hobbie, whatever but pretend not to "wait for her like MR Nice Guy". No woman a Mr Nice Guy.instead they want someone with confidence, self control and challenge
If you leave her some space you'll be fixed:
-she'll come back if she's missing you and needs you
-She wont come back if her feelings have decreased...and at least you'll get a straight answer.
Sticking around her will only increase the pressure.and you can't force someone to love you.
Stop crying when she's talking to you, raise you head and don't forget there is a world outside...if she wants to take a part in it with you she has to 1)want it and 2) deserve it 3) understand you don't wanna be taken for granted
good luck
2006-07-31 07:56:13 · answer #1 · answered by Guillaumeb 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay by her side but give her space. My husband did the same thing to me when we were dating, he didn't even tell me he wanted a break (because his mom was being real hard on him about dating me) so he kind of just dropped out of the picture. We were separated for 5 months, the hardest part was we lived four houses away from each other and I would have to watch him walk down the street with other girls. Talk about hurt.
I decided to ask him out again, he said yes, and three months later, he asked me to marry him. We've been married for ten years.
Time is about the only thing that can repair the damage, i know it's not the greatest answer but sometimes it's the only answer.
Good luck, hopefully she will come around and realize you are a good person to be with.
2006-07-31 07:54:47 · answer #2 · answered by ~SSIRREN~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you are engaged, you must be old enough to make your own decisions. And NOT be overly influenced by your parents. They cannot chose who you fall in love with. With that said, I don't understand what your problems are? You said you two have been having problems---then state later she's been having problems with her parents. Which is it? Both? And if you are doing things against their moral beliefs (secrets)---that can be a sticky situation. I think that qualifies for them probably not liking you. And without the support of her parents---it doesn't make for an easy relationship. More importantly--if you two have specific problems---you two need to work those out. Keep in mind, that all relationships take work. However, it shouldn't be hard either. She might be scared, not ready or is just growing apart. She may not want to hurt your feelings. Sounds like she needs this break--and forcing things will not work. Give her the time and space. And give it to her freely without bothering her. Tell her to really consider what she wants, if she wants to make things work....etc. Then touch base with her in a month or so. See if she wants to work on your relationship---get back together. If not, she's stringing you along. Move on. I went out with a guy for almost 9 years that could never commit, frequently wanted breaks. I was two years older than him---and his parents did not like that. During one of our breaks, he went out with someone else, proposed to her in 6 months, and got married.
2006-07-31 08:12:27 · answer #3 · answered by crazymom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is under alot of stress from the ideas from her parents and her own thoughts-maybe you two can get away for a little while together-go on a picnic for a day and really spend quality time together with out the influence of outsiders-you'll be able to talk and discuss things better-she might be feeling a lot of pressure -women tend to run from that-they never want to feel forced to do anything-it seems she doesn't want to be forced to leave or to get married right away-that kind of commitment is scary-just try to show her you love her with your patients.
2006-07-31 07:54:45 · answer #4 · answered by RACHAEL R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hoochi Papa, you will have to wait till the tip of your rent. If you constant them in these days, and was once in a fender bender the next day to come, the fender you had simply constant might have got to get replaced. If it is the different individuals fault, their coverage will pay. Now, in the event you hadn't constant the scratches and the twist of fate is the opposite individuals fault, their coverage might pay to repair the dent (that's over your scratch).
2016-08-28 15:03:09 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well what are these secrets that you have, some may be too serious to overcome. On the other hand, if you push it too much towards making it work it might just work against you.
Sometimes time makes one realize how much they miss the other person which can work out nicely for you.
2006-07-31 08:04:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your secrets should have nothing to do with this. It sounds to me like she wants out and is making up excuses. Let her go, if its meant to be she will come back. Ans by then you would of found someone who will love you for you and not care about what there parents think!
2006-07-31 07:52:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this point, I think you should ask her to see a marriage counselor with you. I know you are not married, but marriage counselors are relationship counselors. It probably won't take long to figure out if the relationship can be salvaged. If it can, then you'll have something special. If not, you can move on without doubts.
2006-07-31 07:50:45 · answer #8 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TALK TO HER AND BE REAL HONEST TELL HER THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR FEELING SO YOUR RELATIONSHIP DONE A LEVEL SO YA'LL CAN COMUNCATE BETTER AND WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS CATER TO HER AND MAKE HER REALIZE WHY YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH HER IN THE FIRST PLACE
2006-07-31 07:53:15 · answer #9 · answered by mocha27girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abe, aren't you supposed to be dead. Either you're a ghost, or you are too damn old.
2006-07-31 07:49:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋