ive been "with" my girlfriend more or less for 4 years. were both in college, just about out... but in that time i know that shes made out w or been touched by 6 other guys and been drugged up by another over that time.
im pretty forgiving obviously, and ive given her the chance to explain herself and that sort of thing. but ive convinced myself that if nothing is done this summer then im going back to school single.
ive been a saint to her... i barely see any of my other friends (willingly) to spend as much time together, i dont drink or smoke or anything (she did), and i even usually go out of my way to avoid being with groups of girls so that she doesnt have to worry.
i know our relationship is deeply flawed, so what do you suggest?
2006-07-31 07:24:14 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
who said loving someone = letting them do whatever they want? i think it also includes respect, expectations, as well as forgiveness.. the problem isn't that ur forgiving her too much.. the problem is that SHE DOESN'T APPRECIATE IT. That's the problem.. if she did want to be w/ you and appreciated and loved you the way you NEED her to, she would not keep hurting you or doing things that obviously are wrong. don't turn into someone who doesn't forgive people or anything; BUT forgive those who deserve it...she still needs to put in something into the relationship to Deserve ur love. if u had high expectations for yourself and how u treat ur significant others, eventually you will resent her if she doens't do the same for you. doesnt' mean u don't love her, but it means she's just not what you want or need. find someone who meets up to ur expectations; of course u'll probably be a little sad or miss her, cuz u WANTED her to be ur gf; but she doesn't want it bad enough or she wouldn't do that stuff to u. i suggest having a long talk w/ her and explaining what u want and what u expect from yourself and her, and if she doesn't agree or want to try, then it's over. give her a chance if u really love her, but don't keep giving in or "settling" on what YOU want in a relationship. it's not fair for yourself, and eventually u will Hate her for taking advantage of ur sincerity and ability to forgive.
2006-07-31 07:34:25 · answer #1 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 9⤊ 3⤋
The fastet route to her growing up is going to be that she understands that there are consequences for her foul behavior.
Dump her. You know she's an a$$, why wait until you go back to school?
She does this crap to you because she knows she can get away with it.
Go find someone with your same morals, ideals, values, and characteristics. This girl your with now obviously wants to be the loose party chick. She thinks that she can be the loose party chick and still have you for a fall back plan. You want a girl who loves you, and would not hurt you. This chick ain't her.
Go find the person who will love you, because you deserve better.
2006-07-31 07:40:29 · answer #2 · answered by niffer's mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to tell her to settle down a bit or it may be time to get rid of her and find someone who's willing to give you what you need. And no one needs someone running around behind their backs continuously. She'll only keep doing this type of behaviour because you've pretty much given her the green light by taking her back and forgiving her over and over.
2006-07-31 07:28:39 · answer #3 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are doing too much of the work. Relationships are a two way street. You both have to work at it. It sounds like she is not willing to do that. So I would just let her go and if she comes back, then try working at it. But be firm about the things you need and the way you want to be treated.
2006-07-31 07:29:19 · answer #4 · answered by hotchic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that you are doing all the work...she should be meeting u 1/2 way...and she cheated on you....oh Hell NO! You do seem too forgiving...you seem to be meeting her needs, what about yours? That is the question??? I feel that you should go out and have a good time.."we only live once and life is too short too take it TOO serious". Have some fun...dump her ...life goes on and then she well realize what she has lost....take care and i hope to hear from ya soon.....Laters!!!!
2006-07-31 07:36:08 · answer #5 · answered by itsa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump her. It seems as thoughs he knows you're forgiving and she takes advantage of that by doing stuff with other guys. You dont' deserve that. GO dump her and find someone better! Because a girl who does stuff with other guys isn't worth your time.
2006-07-31 07:27:45 · answer #6 · answered by anu_dew2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK FIRST U NEED TO TAKE HER TO A PLACE WERE U TWO CAN BE ALONE AND ASK HER IF SHE REALLY DOES STILL CARE FOR U THE TRUTH MAY HURT BOTH OF U BUT ITS WORTH IT SO U CAN EITHER FIX THINGS OR MOVE ON
GOOD LUCK
2006-07-31 07:29:42 · answer #7 · answered by that one girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If shes not willing to respect you and compromise then mabe its time to move on. You deserve some one who respects your values and is conitnueously faithful.
I hope u find happyness.
2006-07-31 07:31:55 · answer #8 · answered by poeticsoul127 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your plan, if it doesn't get better at the end of the summer, give it up.
2006-07-31 07:47:23 · answer #9 · answered by DJ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you answered you own question. wait till the summer and if it doesn't change then go to school single. just stick to your guns.
2006-07-31 07:29:12 · answer #10 · answered by NyNy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋