Does having children at your wedding and/or reception ruin it?

Question

I'm taking a poll. Various people think having children at my wedding and reception will ruin it. Like a child acting out during the ceremony or kids running around during the reception because their parents aren't watching them. Does anyone have thoughts on this?

Answer 1

I think it depends on the age, and how many there will be.
I'm opting to have no children under age 10 at my wedding. Being an evening wedding, they're just going to get tired and cranky that young. It can be distracting, and quite irritating, really. I think it's nice for the parents to get away, too. They're out, having a nice dinner, a few drinks (most likely). I don't think most want to chase their little kid around. They may think it inconvinient at first, but when they are able to go, relax, and share your special day with you without chasing around a screaming 4 year old, they will appreciate it.

Answer 2

I had all KINDS of kids at my wedding (between my husband and I we have what seems like 2,000 cousins under the age of 12) - so firstly, I made four of the girls flower girls, set up a separate "kids table" at the reception (where, instead of the usual centerpieces, there were toys, bubbles to blow, crayons, newsprint for a "table cloth", disposable cameras that they could run around and use, and a few helpful older relatives to look after them.

They were not a problem - they were an asset! Here are some pics: http://www.secondstarillustrations.com/kidsatwedding.htm

However -
(a) my ceremony was VERY SHORT. Not enough time to get bored! I had live butterflies released at the end and let the kids do the releasing - the more "jobs" you give them, the less random screaming! ;)
(b) both my reception and ceremony were OUTSIDE - lots of safe places for little ones to run around.
(c) We both have huge families, and there was no shortage of helping hands to monitor the kids.
(d) My wedding was fairly casual - bluegrass band at the reception, not a lot of the usual traditions, no church/pastor, no "breakable" decorations...

So, based on your: ceremony time, location, family size, and levels of formality - you may or may not want kids. Personally, I think kids bring more amusement than harm in most events, and I dont think most people mind the occasional misbehaving kid. But like I said, there wasn't much that would have been all that distracting at my wedding. =)

Answer 3

I've heard a lot of horror stories, but to be honest I have never been to a wedding where children weren't there and they have never caused any issues. If you are having a REALLY long ceremony I can see kids getting restless though. As far as the reception goes the kids were always good...in fact they made some cute photo ops as they were all out on the dance floor dancing when all the adults were sitting around being boring :)...

That is just MY personal experience, but I have heard about little fingers licking icing off the cake before its been cut..lol...and other bad things. So I guess it just depends on how formal your event is, and if you think kids would be ok or not. If its a quick ceremony with a lively reception I think kids would only add to the festivities....whereas if it is a long formal catholic mass followed by an evening dinner, you might consider addressing the invites... "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" opposed to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith and family"

Answer 4

I think it's totally dependent on you, and what you want on your day. If your wedding is going to be a starched, formal affair, then young children will spoil that effect, simply by being children. If it's a more relaxed, family style event, then I would think having the children there would even add to the day.

To solve the kids running around during the reception, maybe have a separate room for them, complete with video games, a kids menu, TV, etc. Of course, that's also taking a bite out of your budget.

My brother's getting married in March, and my 12 year old son will be showing up for the few pictures my mom will want him in, and then he's going to my brother in laws house. I don't even want him at the ceremony. And certainly not at the reception!!!

Answer 5

We just got married on June 10th and for us we didn't want to have tons of little kids running around but we also wanted to be able to have the ones that are dear to us be there. So, we agreed (after many conversations) that we would invite our neices and nephews (about 10 all together) and if their parents wanted to bring them then they could. It wasn't horrible but it wasn't perfect either.
At one point during our ceremony our nephew screamed at his mother at the top of his lungs "Mummy if you don't let me go to the bathroom I'm gonna pee my pants!" Everyone got a little laugh and in the end it wasn't the worst thing in the entire world. At the reception they were unentertained and proceeded to do a lot of running, screaming and yelling.

For the most part it wasn't bad, if I could do it again I probably would have no children. Keep in mind that no matter what something WILL go wrong on your wedding day so don't be surprised when it does and don't let it ruin your day. If I let the neices and nephews get to me then I would have had a horrible day, instead I just rolled with it, had a couple good laughs and had the most perfect day of my life.

If you do decide to include children I would highly reccomend putting something together for their entertainment (ie coloring books, puzzles, games, something!) Keep in mind also most parents see a wedding as a night out away from the kids so it may not be as bad as you think since a lot of people know that a reception is mostly adults. It really all depends on your personal situation and what types of parents you're inviting, you don't want to be a babysitter on your wedding day!

Congrats on your wedding and good luck!

Answer 6

Personally, I don't see anything wrong children attending weddings. If you have ushers, hostees and a wedding director ask them to to assist in this matter. They can assist in asking the parent to control their child(ren) during the reception and ask the parent if they need assistance if the child cries during the ceremony.
My cousin had this fear also and she got the word around. In other words, she told some friends or family that she didn't mind family and friends bringing their children but they have to control them and keep them from running around and leave quietly during the ceremony if the child starts crying. She didn't have any problems during her ceremony or reception,

Answer 7

Since weddings are suppose to be happy events, some people may feel put out if they are told that they can't bring their children. You can even include some of the older ones (pre-teens on up) by having them on babysitting duty.

For the younger ones, stop by the dollar store and pick up coloring books, crayons, packs of copy paper, etc. and have a table or two set aside at the reception for a "Play Area". If anyone has a portable DVD player, TV/DVD or TV/VCR that you can borrow, use that as well. You can even borrow movies from the library!

Good luck!

Answer 8

I think young children should not be in the ceremony because it is a sacred moment that shouldn't have any distraction. But I think having children at the reception can make the whole party so much livelier. At my cousin's wedding reception, everybody had so much fun watching the little ones dance.

Answer 9

I don't think that kids ruin weddings. At the ceremony most parents know enough to take their kids out if they are crying or misbehaving. At the reception kids are a lot of fun! They love to dance and I don't see any harm with having them there.

Answer 10

you can respectfully request that children not be in attendance and offer some sort of babysitting service for those who do have children. it's likely those who do and aren't offered an alternative will not show up. but yes during the wedding ceremony children can ruin it by bad behavior but you can let them have fun at the reception or continue to offer a service for them. maybe you have some older teen family members that can keep an eye on the younger children away from your ceremony and reception.