I got my ear pierced without my parents to know. Now they don't trust me anymore. Please help!!!
2006-07-31 07:18:46 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
As a parent, I speak from the heart... however having been in your shoes, I remember what it's like to have trust lost in me.
Simple, and straightforward: do as you're told, no questions asked. No means no, don't press an issue, and don't go to the other parent about something. Be where you are supposed to be. Be exceptionally punctual (on time, if not early). Accept a parent's decision about things.
I know that sounds harsh, but to regain trust, you must show complete obedience. If you are obedient in little things, they will, in time, trust you with larger things. If you are obedient in larger things, they will trust you with huge responsibilities.
They ask you to take out the trash, do so right then and there, and every time they ask. They will soon come to expect you to be trustworthy to do so, and will give you permission to do things of equal worth. Soon they will entrust you with larger responsibilities, and larger rewards.
If one parent says no, do not ask the other for a yes, because that will cause a conflict between the parents, and then both will take out that conflict on you who started it. Accept the "no", and they will soon know that you trust their limits, and will not seek to go outside them again. In doing so, in time, you will expand your limits as they trust you more.
Being punctual shows that you value your time as well as theirs, and they won't have to sit and wait for you. If you are on time, you will soon be given enough trust to have your time limits expanded.
If you accept their decisions, they will know you trust them. That is invaluable to a parent. If you value their decisions in a few things, they will value yours in many.
An apology is a good place to start. Apologize for going behind their backs (as it was not the piercing itself that most likely upset them, but rather, you doing something without their approval), and that you want to make things right.
It will take lots of time, but be obediant to them, and you will regain their trust. And it shows a lot of character in you, that you want their trust back, and I commend you for it.
2006-07-31 08:02:08 · answer #1 · answered by seraphim_pwns_u 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Once they get over it, they will be fine with you, just dont do anything else to warrent them not trusting you, or it may be another story.
Learn from this. Your parents are only human and worry about you. They probably think that if you would do this behind their backs, what else do you do? Make them see that it is a one off and that you are worthy of trust. Talk to them, they were young once (hard to believe with some parents). We all make mistakes. As long as we learn from them, its all good.
2006-07-31 07:26:04 · answer #2 · answered by kaz1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, its gonna take a while. the first thing you should do is sit down with them and talk about it. tell them you'll take out the earing if they don't want you to have it. let them know that you are aware it's gonna take a long time to get their trust back. ask them what you can do to work on getting their trust back. don't do anything that will make them doubt you and don't get discouraged if they don't trust you for a while. just keep at it.
2006-07-31 07:25:48 · answer #3 · answered by dopey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything else to make them question your behavior. And pierced ears, some parents would pray this is the only thing their child would do behind their back.
2006-07-31 07:20:57 · answer #4 · answered by viclyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's harder to earn it the second time, than it was to get it the first time.
Go tell them that you made a bad choice, you are sorry that you did what you did, you now understand the consequences of your bad behavior, and your willing to do what is necessary to make up for your mistake.
The next time they give you an inch, take the inch, not a mile.
Trust is rebuilt a little bit at a time.
2006-07-31 07:23:40 · answer #5 · answered by niffer's mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't make them trust you, afterall you got your ears pierced without their consent. you have to earn their trust in you again and that could take a very long time.
2006-07-31 07:27:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, what do you expect? You shouldn't have done it, but now that you did, you have to take the consequences. Hope it was worth it. Trust has to be earned and that takes time. Just don't do anything else they tell you not to do. Simple!
2006-07-31 07:32:01 · answer #7 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find it difficult to understand why there is a mistrust just because you've had your ears pierced. Did you promise them that you wouldn't?
I am sure they should be pleased it was just your ears, and not your nose, lip, tongue, your navel or even someother unmentionable places!
2006-07-31 07:33:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest and up front with them and tell them that you are sorry you know you shouldn't have been disobedient and gone and done this thing and ask them how can you make amends!
Make sure you tell them what great parents they are and how much you love them.
2006-07-31 07:52:16 · answer #9 · answered by December Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a hard thing to get back just do your best to show your parents that you respect them and love them
2006-07-31 07:20:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋