How do u tell your child about his dad(whom u were together only for few weeks when u got pregnant)?

Question

the problem is that u don't know his dad that well..and things happened between both of u and u both had broke up before he was born and had not kept in touch.

My child is 11yrs old..

Answer 1

First of all, how old is your child? Different approaches to this issue are appropriate for different ages. For very young children, you should just say you and his father decided not to live together for grown-up reasons. Simplest is best. As your child gets older, a few more details may be shared. You need to take cues from how the child raises the subject, what kind of questions he asks, and what kind of response he makes when you tell him things.

Answer 2

I'll tell you what I do with my son, who is 6. I don't say anything until he asks. Sure, my son knows that his family is different from the rest of the kids at school, but he doesn't seem bothered with it because he knows he's loved.

You have to let your child be your guide in this situation. When the questions start coming, and they will, you can keep your answers vague. Your child doesn't need to know all the sordid details of the relationship, he's not old enough for all that. And DON'T tell him anything about a mistake!!!! That will only hurt his self esteem. You can do all this without placing blame or sounding remorseful.

And ALWAYS make sure he knows you love him! No matter how they may act, how far they try to pull from you, at the end of the day, every child wants to know he's loved.

Good luck!

Answer 3

wait until the child asks... when they are old enough to ask they are old enough to know... thats the moddo my mother always lived by. When he asks, than he can know the truth. Don't keep any thing from him, but when you do tell him that you don't know his father and so on make sure you add in that you son was not a mistake and you dont ever want him to think that..,. my reason for saying that is becuase no child is a mistake, maybe an accident but not a mistake... explain the difference to him but do tell him you love him very much, and you dont at all regret having him you only wish it wold have been wth someone who would have been there(for his sake). hope i helpd

Answer 4

And people! This is why you advoid having sex with strangers! Didnt you think of this happening in the future, your kid asking where his dad was? Why did you not keep in touch? But i have to agree with what someone else said. First of all. Contact the father and tell him his son/daughter is asking questions. Yes its been years but suck it up for your child. Next give your child contact details if the father allows it. Then make it knows the child is allowed to have his father in his life and never step between them. Granted the father doesnt deserve to have your wonderful son in his life since he walked away from you two. But your son does deserve to know his father.

Answer 5

what u have gone thru is not little. Why trouble yourself about the dad who didnt care much. For 11 years , u slogged and work hard to provide and nurture a life that u really wanted and that is remarkable. someday when he grow up, he will appreciate the wonders you did for him, even though he is wondering now due to the tremendous pressure he is facing from peers to school friends. Just string up your courage and hope and trust me , u are in the right path to know what a mum is. 11 years is very long and another few years will sustain his maturity to understand the kind of difficulty u have gone thru and he would ring the same bell as u and respect your thought and wishes. trust me

Answer 6

You didn't include how old the child was but i think telling him that mommy and daddy loved each other and they both love him but that it couldnt work out between them would be ok for a younger child. Once the child is in his teens you can tell him the real deal.

Answer 7

That's a tough one. Maybe if the child is very young keep it simple. Just say that the Dad had to go far away or something. When the child is older maybe they will understand more, and you can tell them more.

I hope you get better advice than I can give. I tried.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Don't lie to your child. Kids are alot smarter than you think. My daughter is the same age and she knows stuff I never thought she did. She even knows when I lie. This would be the best time to make your relationship with your child stronger by being honest. This way they know they can trust you for the truth and more to treat you with honesty as well.

Answer 9

I would always just be open about it so later in life you aren't in question. Depending on the age, I would just say that things happened and then the best thing happened to you (that child) and that the rest of the story really doesn't matter.

Answer 10

You have to be honest. Tell the child that you were young and made the mistake of having sex with someone you didn't really know but something wonderful came of that experience and that the thing your sorriest about is that you don't know more about your childs father to satisfy that child's curiousity.