Whenever I ask a question about something I need to figure out & it has to do with my baby, there are people who tell me to ask the father & when I tell them there isn't one they shake their head in mock sorrow, ask why I didn't "wait for the right one"(or say, "we all make our own choices & then we have to live with them"), & I can tell by the looks they give they assume I'm inadequate, or worse yet, a "welfare mommy". Why do a lot of people assume all of this without stopping to consider the possibility of rape? I never 'chose' to make a baby...a choice was made for me, my body chose to form a baby, and I chose to let her live & love her. If so many rapes are happening every day, why is the possibility of rape pregnancy so overlooked?
2006-07-31 06:56:52 · 8 answers · asked by What Dreams May Come 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
First of all, I just wanted to say that you are a strong and wonderful person to decide to keep your baby. Alot of people would have had an abortion or put the baby up for adoption. So I think you deserve major credit there. Now, to answer your question, alot of people are idiots. They think if you don't fit into their idea of a picture-perfect family in their little picture-perfect world, then you're just plain wrong. I say Oh Well. Let them think what they want to think. There's no excuse for anybody judging you or your life. Unfortunately, it's always going to happen. You just need to ignore them and know that you have done a wonderful thing by letting your little baby girl live and giving her a chance at life.
2006-07-31 12:49:12 · answer #1 · answered by butterfly 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
probably because in today's society, the prospect of someone being raped, is worse than just being a single mother. that could be because in the world today, women aren't looked at as being "helpless" and there for should be able to take care of themselves when it comes to being in that type of situation. i know that this isn't true, because the men that do these things to women are usually much stronger, and can overpower them to get their way, and threaten further abuse if the woman tells anyone.
for anyone to assume that you're only a woman that sits around all day making babies to draw welfare is stupid of them. in most cases, we do make our own choices and have to live with the consequences of those actions.
it could also be that while rape is more common than people think, the possibilty of a pregancy resulting (while i'm sure it's just as common) is overlooked because it's just easier to assume that a woman that is not married but has children is either divorced from the kid's father, or that they are well for lack of a better word...a whore who can't keep her legs closed. (this is the one that i'm most familiar with. i've never been raped, but i do have 2 kids and the guy i'm married to isn't either of their dad. i had the first one by complete accident when i was 19 but the other was mostly planned when i was 21. i'll be 25 next month.)
i hope this helps understand a little. it is hard to understand how people can be so narrow minded and cannot fathom that it IS possible for these things to happen.
keep your chin up and know that not ALL people out there are like that. some of them even understand. :)
2006-07-31 14:15:37 · answer #2 · answered by srevels2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. You must be a very strong and loving woman to have made the choices you've made.
Everyone has their own idea of what "the perfect family" is like and sometimes people do forget that it's not the same for others. It doesn't matter if you're a single mom, parents of an only child or parents of a huge family.....someone will find something to criticize. Just a couple of hours after the birth of my second child, my own mother said, "good! you have a boy and a girl. now you can be done with this!" To her surprise, we had a 3rd baby 2 years later. No matter what you do.....someone will find something wrong with it and some people will be blunt enough or rude or nosey enough to mention it.
2006-07-31 14:03:53 · answer #3 · answered by momma2mingbu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry people are doing that to you. I think it's wonderful that you saw this was a person to be loved and you didn't terminate your pregnancy. You are a very loving person. Ignore them-they speak from ignorance. Don't feel too badly about it-we are all strangers to you. I asked a question once about a medical procedure and someone accused me of having an abortion and I've never even been pregnant-there are many who assume. They forget that when you assume, it makes an a$$ out of U and Me.
2006-07-31 14:01:31 · answer #4 · answered by curiositycat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the first person that I know that that had happened to I am sorry to hear that but I am more amazed that you took the hard way and chose to have your beautiful baby and wish you both all the luck and tonight I will say a prayer for you and your beautiful baby
2006-07-31 14:04:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want people to make assupmtions why don't you just put that you were raped? We don't know you, and probably never will so we have to make assumptions in order to help you.
2006-07-31 14:02:12 · answer #6 · answered by BeeFree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because the majority of people on this site are ignorant, uneducated, high school drop-out, trailer trash, gullible, stupid, bible freak fools.
That's why.
2006-07-31 14:37:11 · answer #7 · answered by Stella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is rare and most people will consider only the common.
2006-07-31 14:00:27 · answer #8 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋