Mom to son?

Question

Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time. The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funderal bill, up she comes. About your sister, she had a baby this morning.

I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safery. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down. Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.
Love, Ma

not a clue.. still working it out on the washing machine bit.. lol

Answer 1

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your @ss!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

Answer 2

I've heard that story before, been a long long time, still funny, but ummmmm i do have a question of my own LOL, about the washing machine, put the shirts in and pulled the chain havne't seen them since, i don't get that, anyone know exactly what its talking about? i'm sure it probably simple, but the plane seems to be hoovering over my head.

Answer 3

theres a similar joke in india tooo.....very funny one steph

13randon69....may be this is a very old joke..........that lady hasnt seen a comode yet.....n dont know what a washine machine looks like .....and she must have thought that its the washing machine...pulling the chain means...to flush..... there might have been a chain instead of a modern style handle...she must hav pulled the chain to start the machine n it flushed the shirts

i dont know what the exact reason is.....i just guessed

Answer 4

Funny

Answer 5

relies upon on the type you look at it. the bond between a father and son is physically powerful besides the undeniable fact that the affection and risk-free practices a father provides his daughter is like none different mom son relationships could be good besides yet idk a thank you to describe them and the common groung probably shared in a mom daughter relationship provides foundation for fairly the friendship

Answer 6

Beautiful, 10/10. a similar Irish story includes a postscript:

I was going to include a ten pound note for you son, but I had sealed the envelope before I thought of it..............

Answer 7

magnifico!!!!!!!!!!!!!
such talent
but next time pls put a name of the person you want this to read
the message



(pathetic)lalalalala..................wat!?

Answer 8

alritey than

Answer 9

LOL. LOL. Yep. LOL.