Dating/Marriage and religion? Sincere answers only please.?

Question

I've been dating the same man for 2 years. We're in the stage in our relationship where we're looking towards our future together. I am Lutheran and I consider my religion to be extremely important to me. My boyfriend was raised Catholic and since his mom died when he was 17, he has drifted away from church and God. I've tried talking to him about it and he thinks he isn't ready yet to go back to church. I'm frustrated because we've talked about getting married, and he knows that I want my kids to be raised in church, baptized Lutheran and have a dad that will share and raise them in a Christian enviroment. I pray for him every night and I have been for 2 years now, but I'm afraid that it's just not going to work for him, he won't even try to talk about it with me. He says he does believe in God, but I want someone who will share my faith with me for the rest of my life. i love him so much, but I'm becoming more and more insecure about us?? Any advice??

Answer 1

The man is supposed to be the head of the household and is supposed to love his wife like Christ loves the us. Like if the wife had a hard day and the husband had a hard day, the husband would offer to make dinner. Like if the need came up, the husband would die for her. Now, if he isn't a man that you can share that great news with then you really shouldn't marry him (for now at least). I know 2 years sounds like a long time, but ask God for more patience and then give this relationship to Him. Say, "God, this is tough on me. You know I love this guy and that I want that sort of commitment in my life, but he doesn't seem to be enough like you for this to really sit easily with me" (if it did you wouldn't have written this question) "Take this relationship into Your hands because you know what is best for me and you want that for me. You also know the desires of my heart and long to give them to me. So please set my life in order so that i can have those things. Even if that means that you change my relationship with this man towards marriage or towards separation." If you don't mean that with all your heart, ask God to help you to mean it. He knows your needs, let him provide for you and trust that if this man isn't right, that God will send someone better, that you love even more than this man. And if God wants you to stick together, then trust him that it will work out, but don't marry until it has.
much love!

Answer 2

I know 2 yrs might seem like a long time to you, but to someone who has lost a parent, that could take who knows, 2 more years for him to get over and be able to go to church. If his mother was really a devout lady, odds are every time he steps into a church of ANY kind, he's reminded of her. And it can take a long time before a person starts to see past the sadness of a loss to the happy memories they shared, trust me I know.

Or this could possibly happen, just an opinon here though. He could(when he's ready) decide to hold fast to the catholic faith, because it, yet again, reminds him of his mother. And if he was raised catholic, and you are lutheran....he would more than likely push for the kids to be baptised catholic. IN the eyes of the catholic church, in an inter-faith marriage, thats the way to go, and no catholic priest will marry you unless you make a pledge to do so.

My real advice is, realize this. Whom do you worship? Whom does your b/f worship? You both have faith in HIM, not your type of religion, right?? So when you get married and have kids, expose them to both religions. People make their own choices in life, you could end up having wonderful children raised in the catholic or lutheran church, only to have them convert to buddism when they are 25. Best of luck to you!!

Answer 3

Good for you for being mature enough to realize that this is really important in a marriage. Interfaith marriages can work, and can provide a stable religious environment for the children under some very cooperative circumstances. My sister's husband, for example, has agreed to go to church with her one a month, and wants their children raised in her faith. But generally, I think these sort of thing are the exception rather than the rule, and just the fact that your guy doesn't even want to talk about it sounds like bad news to me.

Answer 4

What in the event you had been homosexual, however you had been a well character? Anybody who engages in gay intercourse isn't a well character in view that they're sinning towards God. Nobody could say what in the event you had been a assassin, however had been nonetheless a well character in view that we all know that a well character does now not homicide. Just in view that some thing is suitable in society does now not imply it's good enough. If someone is interested in the identical intercourse however certainly not has gay intercourse then they could be satisfactory. Would you continue to cross to hell? Yes in the event you did not repent and difference your methods. Is my mothers and fathers what he supposed through that? If so, why could he enable that? A guy does have authority however he need to additionally comply with all of the different commandments handling marriage. He need to maintain her and deal with her so in case your Dad is yelling at her then he's going towards the commandments of God. But that is simply essentially last authority and the person will make the gigantic selections in view that he's the one that must be taking good care of the loved ones. - It additionally says athiests must be placed to dying. What if the athiest used to be a well character? could he nonetheless be placed to dying? I have many athiest peers and their the nicest humans I recognize! Does God relatively desire that? The bible certainly not says Atheists must be killed so I have no idea wherein that got here from. God best expects love. Worshipping him is learn how to exhibit your love for him. If you refuse to like God then he'll now not drive you to be in heaven with him so you are going to get what you desire and also you could be despatched to hell. Hell is the way in which we've unfastened can even within the afterlife.

Answer 5

I am an atheist married to a Christian, we have made it work by respecting each others beliefs. We have honestly never had a fight or argument about religion, we have discussed it. We are raising our kids with knowledge of different religions and will let them choose a religion on their own.
Talk to him about it, explain why you have concerns. If you are both unwilling to compromise some then it probably always be an issue. Ask him if he would consider going to couples therapy to see if you can get help coming up with a compromise that will work for both of you if you can't do it on your own. Good luck.

Answer 6

Both spouses being the same religion will do wonders for any marriage. It makes things so much easier. But, by the same token, joining a religion simply for love is not the right reason. I would invite him to pray with you. I think that is the best first step in helping him "come back" and see how important religion is in life.

Answer 7

If religion is that important to you I think that you should rethink the marriage plans. You may be able to get him to act as though he cares about that kind of thing, but I doubt that it will really be what you're after. In a world so full of sincere believers you should be able to find someone who will eagerly "share your faith for the rest of your life".

The other option you have, I think, is to examine your own values. Why is religious faith so important to you? Now, I imagine that very few people ask you to examine that part of your life, as we live in a culture that places religious faith in a very special place. But in fact in itself, it is really not any different from other interests. I feel that it is extremely important to raise children to respect baseball, and to be regularly involved in baseball, and while I know our deeply religious culture will never see it that way, in fact that value is every bit as important as religious faith. How would you feel if this were about him insisting that the children spend their Sundays playing baseball? Would you consider compromise? Would you think that he should?

Answer 8

So you plan on brainwashing your children into the same religion you were raised in? Ever thought of perhaps giving them the chance to form their own religious/spiritual ideaologies, rather than cramming yours down their throats??? Your soon to be husband deserves some respect - because he hasnt caved in to your demands.
Live and let live. If you love the man, that should be all that matters. After all religion is bogus, so why should it matter?

Oh, and praying hasnt worked because its been scientifically proven to not work. Check this out: www.godisimaginary.com

Answer 9

My husband is a churchgoer, religion is important to him. I believe in God, but do not go to church. I was not raised in a religious home and am also a little confused about the whole religious beliefs. But it has not been a problem for us. he can do his thing and go to church and i support him but i dont need to go to be supportive of his beliefs. I think if you really love him, let him be himself. raise your children with your religious beliefs, i doubt that he will stand in your way.

Answer 10

Keep praying..... I definitely understand where you are coming from b/c I want my children raised up in church and under my belief system. But I agree with the first answer, you do not need to be unequally yoked in your relationship, it could definitely have a negative effect on your children.