okay or not?

Question

People say you should love your family unconditionally no matter how much they piss you off. Well for me that seems not to be the case. Me and mom don't get along very well, and sometimes I get so ticked off at her I say things I don't mean, and feel that I hate her. :( Is this normal, or even okay to feel?

Answer 1

Its normal to get mad. I would recommend that when you get mad to go into another room and calm down then come out and talk to your mom and be rational.then you both can talk it out and you wont feel gulity for saying the wrong things.

Answer 2

No, you don't have to love your family unconditionally.

Are you in h.s.? It's normal that teenage girls and their moms have many disagreements.
However, if she has been a good/loving/providing mom your whole life, then appreciate that.
You might have your disagreements, but there are mature ways to go about them.
My older sister and my mom fought from the day my sister turned 12. Yelling, fighting, crying, etc. She is 28 now and their relationship is strained, but better. I learned by watching my older sister and chose a different route. I was responsible & made good judgments. When I disagreed with my mom, she was willing to listen b/c I was responsible and I was being respectful. We didn't yell, but treated each other like adults. We still have a great relationship.
Here is my suggestion: sometime when you are both in a good mood, ask if the two of you can have a serious talk. Before you talk, promise yourself that you will remain calm and treat her with respect. Also, write down the points you want to discuss, so you don't forget them (being treated like an adult & you acting like an adult, mutual respect, curfew/rules, future respectful discussions, responsibility, etc.). Tell her that you appreciate what she's done for you (taking care of you), but you're older now and would like her to help you transition into adulthood.
Make sure you are both calm & respectful for the discussion. Keep emotions aside and just work on a plan for the future. Maybe start by apologizing for hurtful things you say. Tell her you're going to try to stop that. Good luck!

Answer 3

Hey it sounds pretty normal. Love is unconditional as you mentioned. However; people say things to hurt others and that is normal as the people they are hurting forgive them because they are loved unconditionally. Mother's and father's usually feel this wrath the most and they are able to forgive due to their unconditional love. A lot of your friends would just get angry and some may end their relationship with you. But parents, spouses and even pets are able to move on because of this unconditional love. People aren't silly, they always hurt the ones they are closest with as they know all will be forgiven.

And if you are an adult then it's obvious that you learned earlier on that you can say hurtful things to your mom and she will still love you, because believe it or not she was once were your at now herself.

Answer 4

Not sure if it is normal or not. I don't get along with my sister at all despite my mom harping on us that "blood is thicker than water"
She isn't a very nice person at all. The sort that would gladly stab anyone in the back (including family members) to get herself ahead of anyone else. Thing is when she does do these terrible things she manages to screw up any opportunity she may have gained in some spectacular fashion...requiring more backstabbing and manipulating on her part to fix the problems she created.
So we don't talk, aren't close and I refuse to have anything to do with her. My only consolation is that my parents are starting to see her for who she really is. I kept silent about it but what goes around comes around is finally making it back to the ones that deserve it.
So maybe there are some people in the world that you are not meant to get along with. If your mom really is a terrible person, like my sister, yes I could see how it would be hard to like them.
Good luck!

Answer 5

You didn't give an age.

Mark Twain had a great quote on the subject, that went something like this.

"When I was 17, my father was an idiot. When I turned 21, he started making a lot of sense. It was amazing how much he learned in 4 years".

Think about it.

-Dio

Answer 6

Hey, we can't pick our family! Sometimes the one we seem to hate is the one we are most alike, positively and negatively. Is this the case? Ask your mom or other members of her family do they think there are uncanny similarities in behavior, attitudes, etc.

Wow, that could be uncomfortable esp. when you see negative attributes.

Answer 7

You are supposed to love your family, but you don't have to like them. You don't say how old you are, but you're probably still young. It'll get much better when you leave home, it's easier with distance. I think it's perfectly normal, I think most people "hated" their parents when they were living at home.

Answer 8

It depends on how old you are. If you are between the ages of seven and about twenty five, yeah its normal.
I believe that young women would never leave home unless they started arguing with Mom.
But once you "grow up" you should let go of the bull==== and get on with the business of life.

Answer 9

It's normal to hate your family. When they do things that you don't like you feel betrayed, because you are so close to them. Things will change. Give it time.

And, next time, hold your tongue. If you're wrong you'll save yourself some grief, and if she's wrong she'll figure it out when she calms down.

Answer 10

no it's not normal I could see doing that to your brother or sister but not your mom if I was to even talt back to my mom when I was young my dad would beat the sh it out of me you should show a little respect for your mom