I have three kids ages 10,7,2 1 boy and 2 girls
2006-07-31 05:59:27 · 12 answers · asked by redneck_riviera04 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You have to become a good mediator. When they fight, you have to stop them, let them cool down and listen to every side. If at all possible, you should let them tell you their side of the story in private so that there are no disruptions. Then you will need to determine a solution that is as fair as possible. If they are fighting over a toy, you will need to have them take turns using the toy. And supervise the time they each spend. You will need to continue to do this until they begin to do it themselves. By doing this, you are teaching them how to resolve their conflicts without fighting. But you will have to be consistent.
2006-07-31 06:08:42 · answer #1 · answered by askme 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a son 10 and a daughter 7. I'm assuming the baby isn't in much of the fighting. lol Anyway, hon, it's a part of growing up. My two fight all the time, over the tv, the game, the computer, you name it. If one has it, the other cries that they wanted it first. My daughter is the one that makes the fights physical cuz my son has always been raised not to lay a hand on females, but the solution for me was to make them do everything in sets. If they get on the computer, they do it 30 minutes each. If they play a game, they have to play together. They work together unless they are cleaning their rooms then they have to be in their own rooms with their doors shut, otherwise they are throwing each other's stuff in each other's rooms saying it's not their mess.
When they get into really big fights, I make them sit face to face, holding each other's hands and tell each other 10 things that they like about each other. They have to do this in front of me otherwise they'd be sitting there saying they like each other's hair or shirt... it works though. It makes them think about each other's qualities and not so much about the issue that caused them to fight. After that, I sit them down and we talk about the problem. We go through it step by step and when we find where they went wrong, we stop and I ask them what they could have done differently to change the outcome. It really works. It's maybe only once a month I have to do that anymore, sometimes even longer. I remind them ALOT of consequences of not being able to do things if they can't work together and that's pretty much it. They do learn after time to correct it themselves before they have to deal with mommy.
Anyway, that's how it's handled here in my home. I hope this helps, but stay encouraged! Brothers and sisters hardly ever see eye to eye. Teaching them to appreciate their differences and working together around those differences is what will make them successful in life when they have to deal with others they disagree with. Good luck & God Bless!
2006-07-31 06:51:14 · answer #2 · answered by HappilyEverAfter 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I taught my boys (now 2 and 4) from an early age that their brother was the best friend they would ever have and that fighting could damage that friendship. I am trying to teach them to respect each other. They are actually pretty sweet to each other. So far it is working, but when they are older it may be a different story!
2006-07-31 06:05:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you will. It's a part of growing up and gaining control. If you force them to like each other it won't happen. My mom remarried when I was 8. It took me 20 years to accept my siblings, because I was forced to accept them. I couldn't do it. If you can, give them time apart from each other. Do something special with each of them separately...and together so that they can have one on one adult time, but also learn to get along with each other. I did a lot of babysitting in my time and even had to do it when one 'kid' was babysitting other children, not so much because either child needed a babysitter, but they needed someone to stop fights so they didn't kill each other.
2006-07-31 06:09:11 · answer #4 · answered by auntie_kk3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All depends why they are fighting when mine physically fight over who's turn to walk the dog I make them hold hands and walk the dog. If they fight over computer or toy I simple take it away and sometimes put it on fridge so they can see but not have it.
2006-07-31 06:55:47 · answer #5 · answered by M T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good luck! My two are 4 years apart and fight at least a bit, every day. I hear is doesn't get any better until they move out! Maybe just giving them time outs, or praising them when they do NOT fight! Good luck - lots of us are in the same boat, you are not alone!!
2006-07-31 06:10:16 · answer #6 · answered by dogriver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was going to suggest.....wait 20 years.
But I'm 43 & just had a falling out with my (46yo) brother. We've never got along, ever. Fortunately, he lives in England & I live in Arizona, so I can ignore him. Sometimes people just don't get along. Normally they just don't interact. But living in the same house....that's when they fight.
But hey - they may well grow out of it. Just don't let the youngest kid get bullied. My brother bullied me until I was about 12 years old. I was a little excessive in resolving that - but his broken nose healed, eventually.
2006-07-31 06:05:52 · answer #7 · answered by dryheatdave 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get all three of them in one room and tell each of them that fighting is not good and then tell them if they fight again that the police is going to get them and take them to jail. If that don't work then you seperate them. Put one in one chair and another in the other chair and the other in another chair.
2006-07-31 06:12:20 · answer #8 · answered by jennifer215oneal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make them play games that one has to depend on the other and communicate, like a three-legged race.
2006-07-31 06:05:38 · answer #9 · answered by someone_unperfect 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
every time they fight make them hug and say I love you that way they will see that they should love one another and respect on another
2006-07-31 06:12:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋